A Rabbi and a Catholic Priest are fishing by a river. A road run along the river. An Athiest drives by in his car and sees that there is a sign beside the two men that reads, "Turn around, the end is near." The Athiest rolls down his window and yells, "Why don't you religious nuts keep your fairy tales to yourself." He then speeds off. About a minute later the two men fishing hear the screech of tires and a loud splash. The Rabbi turns to the Catholic Priest and says, "I told you we should have writen the sign to say BRIDGE OUT."
The Pope, Bill Gates, a young hippie, and a doctor are flying on a small plane. Suddenly there is an explosion and the pilot comes out of the cockpit. He says, "This plane is going to crash in 5 minutes, there are only 4 parachutes, and I have one of them." The pilot then jumps out. The four passengers are then left to decide who gets the parachutes.
The doctor grabs one of the parachutes and says, "I am a doctor, the world needs doctors to better all of mankind." The doctor then jumps out.
Bill Gates grabs on of the parachutes and says, "I am the worlds smartest man, the world needs smart men to better all of mankind. Bill Gates then jumps out.
The Pope and the young hippie look at each other. After a moment the Pope says, "I have lived a long and rewarding life while yours is just begining. You should take the last parachute." The young hippie replys, "Don't worry, the worlds smartest man just jumped out with my backpack."
I'll think of more later.
"Magic sometimes sounds like tape." - The Amazing Johnathan