Quoth Bright_Star
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Dumbest question you have ever been asked
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If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song
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At the pizza place when someone called for a delivery order
Me: "OK, I will need your address for the delivery please."
CS: "You don't need to know that. How soon will it be here?"
I know that sounds as ridiculous as it looks reading it, but it has happened before.I don't have an anger problem! I have an idiot problem!-Hank Hill
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Some of the best ones from the Rec Center and the Fieldhouse are:
"What are your hours?" They are posted through out the buildings and on the several dozen fliers we hand out. And hasn't changed in years.
"Where are your Bathrooms?" Just look to your right and there they are. Shocking I know. Who knew they would put them right next to the main entrance?
"Where is the other Building?" Across the street. Where they have always been since they were built.
From my summer ice cream job:
"Why are you out of (insert flavor)?" Because the company stopped making it or did not send us any.
"Why?" How would I, a mere scooper and cashier, know how the people who make millions of dollars decide decide what to manufacture, deliver or discontinue.
This one happens every year for seasonal flavors."Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE
Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm
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"Do you sell books here?" (This was at Barnes and Noble!!!!!!)
"Do you have French bread sticks?" (No, idiot, because our name is McDonald's, not Olive Garden!!!)
"Where's your toy section?" (Well we don't actually have on in a fucking grocery store, but I'll happily tell you where the nearest Toys R Us is!)"I used to be Snow White... but I drifted."~Mae West
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Quoth BookstoreEscapee View PostI think the dumbest is "Do you work here?" while I was standing INSIDE the customer service desk, or BEHIND the register (both of which I have gotten).
Quoth Marxfan View Post
"Do you have French bread sticks?" (No, idiot, because our name is McDonald's, not Olive Garden!!!)Last edited by Soulstealer; 11-09-2007, 12:54 AM.How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?
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The repeated dumb question, back when I was a trolley dolly (catering stewardess on the trains) was;
"Is this the right train?"
With no other information, how could I tell?
The one time I asked where they were going, I got told "To my grandmother's. Is this the right train?"
It was such a regular question, I took to answering with "Well, it's the right train for me, as it's going to Manchester, and I want to go to Manchester. Since I have no idea where you're trying to get to, I can't tell if this is the right train for you."
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Quoth Marxfan View Post"Where's your toy section?" (Well we don't actually have on in a fucking grocery store, but I'll happily tell you where the nearest Toys R Us is!)Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.
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When I was working as a whitewater rafting river guide...
"How long did it take ya'll to dig this thing?" (It's a gorge. Millions of years)
"How much do you pay the gardener?" (It's a gorge.... the trees plant themselves)
"What do you mean there's no restroom?" (... that's why we told you to use the restroom before getting on the bus... It's a gorge.)
"Do we get out where we put in?" (Yup, it's one of those rare circular rivers. Here's your sign.)Everything sucks. I must be living in a vacuum.
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I didn't get asked this one but was in earshot:
Family is at a bankruptcy attorney's office. They agree to go ahead with it. The attorney asks for his fee.
Father: "Do you take Visa?""Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."
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I was walking back to the front of the store from my break, when I overheard from the next aisle over a customer asking another associate, "how long are these going to be on clearance?" I couldn't help but laugh.
I also encountered a person who wanted to know if we honored JoAnn's GIFT CARDS *fp*
I've also been asked if my store carries a myriad of items a CRAFT store would NEVER sell. Such as:
-Cigarettes (why yes--next to the children's apparel)
-Sports memorabilia (as in t-shirts)
-Gongs (I'm not even joking)
-Gardening supplies
-Flatware/tablecloths/dishes (and not just the party kind). I once had this exchange with a customer (m=me, i=idiot)
I- Where are your tablecloths?
M- We don't carry them.
I- Yes you do--I've seen them here before!
M- You're mistaken--we don't carry them.
I- But the boy at the grocery store told me to come here! He said you did!
M- He was also mistaken, because we do not and never have stocked tablecloths.
I- Well I'm going to look anyway. You're lying.
The ultimate, though, happened over the weekend, when I got a call from a vapid soccer mom.
I- Do you have karate-chopping wood?
M- *puts customer on hold for the purpose of LAUGHING MY ASS OFF*
M- What are the specifications of karate-chopping wood????
I- *In the background I could hear what sounded like an 8-year-old boy telling his mom--"it's for karate! duh! the kind you break and chop!"* It's the kind you break--you know.
M- Well, the only kinds of wood we carry are carving blocks and balsa.
I- Hmm... Balsa's that really soft stuff, isn't it? That wouldn't work...
M- *I really wanted to tell her, well your kid's not going to be able to chop through the real thing, I'm sure--balsa's probably up your alley...*
M- Ma'am, here's what you're going to do. You're going to contact your kid's instructor, ask them about it, and head to a hardware store.
I- Oh--I didn't think of going to a hardware store!
M-
Seriously--you cannot make this stuff up...
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When renting DVDs/videos:
Me: Ok, that's 10 DVDs due back in one week. $10, please.
SC: You mean, I have to pay for them now?
Me: Um ... do you know of ANY movie rental places that don't expect you to pay at the time of rental?
SC: Oh, uh ... no, I guess not.
Me: $10, please. :|
Once the library is open, we have an automated answering service that states the library is now open, lists the business hours, and gives you an option to speak with a staff person. At least once per day:
Me: Aloha ... Maui Public Library, how may I help you?
SC: Yeah, are you guys open?
Me: ................ yes.
SC: Thanks! *click*I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand. -- Linus Van Pelt
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