Lupo's Shopping Shenanigans part seventy billion...or I looka like a man?? ;)

[lupo pazzesco]

I thought those were the mangos she was hiding from the SC.

...erm. No.

Why blatantly hide 'em? They were mine, if she tried to take them, I'd enact a beatdown. Besides, I don't want to bruise my poor, precious mangoes.

[XCashier]

He then asks if it’s possible if I could use my pass card to pay THIS far for him, so he can pay the OTHER fare. (What other fare! There is no other fare!!)

The other fare's for Harvey, his invisible rabbit friend!

I look over and this middle aged woman is yapping on her cell phone, while reaching into my cart and grabbing my 3rd mango!! Yeah, fuck politeness.

Indeed. Why was she pulling them from someone else's shopping cart when there was a whole store shelf full of them that she could've selected? If she's that horrifically self-absorbed, fuck politeness indeed. She certainly did.

Him: Come on, at least tell me your name.
Me: <Just because I’m cranky still and tired, I drop my register, look him straight in the eye, and answer blandly in a deeeeep voice.> Joseph.
Him:
Me: At least until I finish legally changing my name to Tiffany.

He moved fast for an old guy, I’ll give him that. And he put as much distance between me and him as possible on the bus. Ahhh…peaceful ride home.

Good for you!

[LillFilly]

Lupo, you are my new signature!!!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Besides, 38s are too small anyways... >.>

44 magnums? Then you could say, "Do you feel lucky, punk?" or perhaps, "Go ahead, make my day."

[DeltaSierra]

Joseph Lupo you are my hero!!!!

[Cazzi]

Does it make me a bad person because I get excited when I see a new post in "Sightings" posted by Lupo?

If it does I must be very bad coz I mentally cheered

Sorry Lupo, but you make your trips sound so entertaining

/hides

[chainedbarista]

Lupo loves mangoes.

so does chains and multiple mangoes = multiple heaven.

as for the hag stealing from your cart, i bequeath to you...a wooden spoon for smacking those inattentive hands who can't tell the difference between a fruit display and a cart.

as for your 'uniform,' if only all stockers could wear something of that nature.

[lupo pazzesco]

44 magnums? Then you could say, "Do you feel lucky, punk?" or perhaps, "Go ahead, make my day."

...eh...close enough to the real size, I suppose...

Lupo, you are my new signature!!!

Yay, I'm a quote!!!

so does chains and multiple mangoes = multiple heaven.

as for the hag stealing from your cart, i bequeath to you...a wooden spoon for smacking those inattentive hands who can't tell the difference between a fruit display and a cart.

as for your 'uniform,' if only all stockers could wear something of that nature.

multiple mangoes = multiple heaven indeed. I think I took home half a dozen, and have had half a mango a day this entire week (Jumbo mangoes indeed. They're HUGE. It's bliss!)

Yay, weapon with which to smack people!! Smackity smackity smack smack!

Well, I can get away with wearing that shirt at work, but then since I'm in the back most days, and generally don't interact with customers much. I keep a pair of sneakers in my desk, and change into flip flops or sandals when I'm off cuz I hate wearing shoes and socks unless absolutely necessary in the summer months. So, yeah, how I could POSSIBLY be a Kroger stocker (they wear black pants and blue polos, I believe) boggles the mind. But, it is SC logic, so...

[Food Lady]

Whyyyyy is it always with the shrimp? I'd be inclined to avoid the seafood dept. at all costs.

[chrislb]

Because the seafood dept. is where the stupidest and cheapest scs tend to gather. I have noticed that on the rare occaisional store run.

[lupo pazzesco]

And if it's not seafood, it's bakery. At least at this Kroger. FFS, the drama llamas come out in droves and hit up the reduce priced bakery rack (The one that has the sign "oops! We baked too much!" on top? Yeah, that one.)

Gods help you if you get between them and their 50 cent buns/rolls/breads/pie slices.

*shudder*

[SailorMan]

SC1: Hey, do you have the $5 shrimp?
Me: I have a 2 lb bag of it, yes. It’s $9.98.
SC2: But it’s supposed to be $4.99!!
Me: For a pound. I have 2.
SC1: It’s false advertising!!
Me: …It’s price PER POUND.
SC1: But it’s supposed to be $4.99
Me: You know what, I’m tired, I’m cranky, and I’ve been up since 4 this morning, it’s now almost 8. I don’t need anymore help numbing my brain cells. Bye bye now.

What! You mean I can't roll my wheelbarrow into Kroger's, and take a ton of shrimp away for $4.99? ?!?!?!11-ty!?!?

Sorry, Lupo... But I wait in eager anticipation for each and every one of your shopping trips!

[MoonCat]

The bus fare guy: Whuuuut?? Use your fare card for his ride?? Can you even do that? Where I live, it's one fare card = one rider. Somebody else cannot use your fare card on the same bus/same trip. Anyway, he was a jerk. People like this are why I don't ever offer change when somebody gets on the bus going "anybody have change for [whatever $]?

The mango woman: WTF?? Maybe if she took the phone out of her ear (granted it's probably rooted in her brain by now), she would have seen...nah. Never mind. Another idiot.

You gotta find a way to turn off the asshat magnet.

[Mr Hero]

I would totally go gay for Joseph. Then again, Tiffany would turn me right back.

[BlaqueKatt]

I still don't know how you attract the weirdos at the store.

I'm not sure she actually attracts them so much as is , "more aware of her surroundings" than most brain-dead-drooling-zombies that we know as the consumer public.....