Wrong old man, wrong day

[RecoveringKinkoid]

So, I may have mentioned my Dad. He is the toughest son of a bitch on sweet mother earth. He looks about twenty years younger than he actually is, has a bad temper, and is half crazy.

In other words, fucking with my old man will, best case scenario, get you hurt.

My dad is prickly. He does not like being bothered by salemen, receipt checkers, or, God forbid, telemarketers. He does not like being pitched to (yes, that is correct, Peanut Gallery, the apple does not fall far from the tree.).

He lives at the end of a long dirt driveway that goes through what is left of a pine forest (since Hurricane Hugo many years ago, you can now see the house from the main road). "No trespassing" signs stud the trees along the driveway.

Dad does not like people who can't read, either.

So some idiot found he way down to the old man's yard yesterday. I maintain that no saleman would go down there, that dude was a scammer or otherwise up to no good. But anyways, my dad was less than nice about telling the guy to pound sand.

So the idiot accused the old man of being disrespectful to him and dad said "What the hell do you think you're being ignoring the no trespassing signs?

Upon which this asshole goes "Why don't you go on back into the house?"

Which was the wrong thing to say, because evidently Dad got real calm and said "If I go inside, it will be for just a moment."

So at that point, the guy evidently realized what Dad had just said and hauled ass.

Dumbass.

[draco664]

Upon which this asshole goes "Why don't you go on back into the house?"

Which was the wrong thing to say, because evidently Dad got real calm and said "If I go inside, it will be for just a moment."

So at that point, the guy evidently realized what Dad had just said and hauled ass.

Dumbass.

Funny how the threat of particularly direct violence can suddenly bring out the intelligence in people...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I know, evidently when dad got vague is when he got his message across crystal clear.

Irony.

[Anakah]

Damn, your dad is awesome!

[superhotelworker]

Your dad rules.

[Itsjustpizza]

I just got a mental picture of Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino reading that. Your Dad Rocks

[Amina516]

(yes, that is correct, Peanut Gallery, the apple does not fall far from the tree.).

..ahem...Wasnt going to say nothing.

[Treasure]

Wow RK, it must have been a day for the crazies - I had some kid messing w/ one of our vehicles (parked on the street) and after shrieking at him like a fishwife to "get the f#*k away from here, and go on".... the boy didn't get a clue, and got taken away in handcuffs (yes there's more to the story anyone want more details PM me)

[blas]

Uh, who the hell tells someone to go back inside their own house?

That's seriously no oridinary door to door annoying salesperson.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

(yes there's more to the story anyone want more details PM me)

Go ahead, I started the thread, and I don't mind threadjacks, so feel free. It sounds like a similar story.

I called mom today because it occured to me the guy might be the sort to come back and try to get even with "the disrespectful old fart", but after talking to her her, I am not that worried about that. Common scammer, sounds like.

I was like you, I was flabbergasted that someone would actually tell a man to go back inside his own house. The outrageousness of that statement is what made me worry.

However, the context of that, I found out this morning, was that my parent's very large, very rowdy, very LOUD dogs were throwing themselves against the glass storm door inside the house in plain view and my Mom was letting them go apeshit. She thinks the guy was genuinely afraid the Old Man was gonna let the dogs out and he was trying get my dad on the same side of the glass as the dogs and make sure he himself was safely on the other side. So it was more like "Okay, okay, I'm going, just go back in and don't set the Hellhounds on me. "

[Brojekk]

Which was the wrong thing to say, because evidently Dad got real calm and said "If I go inside, it will be for just a moment."



.

Best line I heard all year. Your father ROCKS

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, he's a real piece of work.

[Umingmaq]

Reminds me of a pest control guy who came to my door a while back. After I told him no politely three different ways, I finally got quite vocal about his need to disappear immediately. His reply? "You're rude."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Geeze, I know, right?

People say that to me all the time. I just answer back, "Yes, I am. Fuck off and leave, if that's a problem for you."

It would seem a no brainer to me.

[Peppergirl]

..ahem...Wasnt going to say nothing.

Me either. In fact, I *wasn't* thinking at ALL that RK is clearly just like her old man. Nope. Not me.

Too funny.

I think I love your dad, RK. That last sentence he uttered is probably one of my top five one-liners of this decade. Seriously.