Didn't you ever watch Sesame Street?

[rerant]

Before you read on I want you to look around you and identify eight items that are close to you.
Now did you count 32 items? 15 items? Or did you just count eight items?
Eight? Very good. Now that I know how simple it is for people to count to eight I'll get to the point of my rant.

What part of EXPRESS LANE 1-8 ITEMS ONLY do people not understand?
Since my store has implemented these 1-8 item only registers it's been nothing but hell for us cashiers.
Half the people people do NOT pay attention to the TWO signs in each of the express lines indicating that they are in fact express, and of the other half that DO notice, half of those people just don't give a shit.

I know if there are line-ups out the butt there's nothing I can do if someone finally makes their way to the front of the line with a cartload of merchandise, but I definitely have taken to telling people (in hopes that they'll pay more attention the next time) that they're in an express lane.

Here are two short stories from the express lanes of doom.

It always comes in threes
This woman came through with her son, and had two separate bills. One bill was a plant and pot and the other about 10 packages of flooring and 15 other miscellaneous items.

Me: Oh ma'am, just so you know this is an express lane. I'll check you through but I'm just letting you know for next time.
SC: I KNOW it's an express lane. I can read, thank you. That's why we did two separate bills; so we would be below 18 items.
Me: ...

Ok so not only can she apparently NOT read, as her brain somehow morphed the number 8 to 18, but she can't count, either.
Oh, and she's a condescending bitch.
HAT TRICK!

Other people's actions have become my fault
A common argument from customers who DO adhere to the express lane rules is that others who don't should be turned away. While I agree with them, like I stated above if they've stood in line for 10 minutes I can't very well turn them away once they've made it to the front and loaded all their items onto the belt.

SC: That woman had WAY more than eight items! Why was she allowed to check out here?
Me: Well... (gives the speech)
SC: I don't care. You're being pretty damn inconsiderate by letting her jump in this line with people like me who pay attention.
Me: If I had noticed her in line when she first joined the line I would have told her she had too many items, but unfortunately it's too busy for me to be monitoring the back of the line.
SC: Well then you're not doing your job.
Me: Uh huh.

I rarely let people's stupid comments drag my day down, but not doing my job? My job is to get your ass out of here as fast as possible, and running to the back of the line which can get 10-15 people deep at times to make sure everyone has the suggested number of items then counting them just to make sure no one is trying to slip one past me would severely affect my speed.
Go fuck yourself.

One of these days I'm going to rip those signs down and set them on fire in the parking lot.

[Imogene]

1-8

Just as a thought, maybe she just missed the hyphen? That could feasibly look like an 18.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Since when is it the cashier's job to monitor how many things person number 9 in line has?

[rerant]

Just as a thought, maybe she just missed the hyphen? That could feasibly look like an 18.

I thought that at first too, but the signs are way too obvious for that kind of mistake.
By which I mean it's not printed 1-8, but rather 1 - 8 - the space (presumably) making it obvious enough.

[powerboy]

I was going to make a post about this same thing. Last night, I went to walmart. I had only 2 items, and I went into the self check out line. A woman got turned away for having a cart full(it was 20 items or less). A few seconds later, another woman got into line. I was being nice, and I told her, it is only 20 or less. She went off on me. She started to call her husband to come up to the front right then. He came up and looked right at me, and said he was sorry about that. He told her to read and understand the sign from now on, and they left that line.

And all I did was trying to be nice, and let her know.

[cinema guy]

EXPRESS LANE 1-8 ITEMS ONLY .

So if I've got no items, I can't join the queue?

[Gurndigarn]

I'm still going for a "10¢ per item over the limit" fee for express lanes.

[Seshat]

By which I mean it's not printed 1-8, but rather 1 - 8 - the space (presumably) making it obvious enough.

I've made it a point to study human interface design for computer programs. You'd be surprised how many people make similar mistakes.

Next time the company prints signs for express lanes, '8 items or less' is much, much less likely to be misunderstood than '1 - 8 items'.

[OfficeSlug]

I'm still going for a "10¢ per item over the limit" fee for express lanes.

Great minds think alike!

I was mentioning something like this to my co-workers last week!

That'd stop that sh*t really quickly wouldn't it?
(And cause more fights, but they'd learn, oh, they just might learn.)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

SC: I don't care. You're being pretty damn inconsiderate by letting her jump in this line with people like me who pay attention.

ExCUSE ME?

See, I would have gotten fired right then and there for saying something mouthy. Good thing I'm not in retail anymore.

If it bothered he so much, and she was paying such close attention, why didn't SHE say something?

I'll tell you why...because she had enough guts to bitch to a captive audience who couldn't speak, but not enough to actually do the right thing and stand up for herself.

People who expect others to stand up for them when they don't have the balls to stand up for themselves really get next to me.

[mattm04]

I wish we could put the register is a special mode where it would only allow up to the number of items, plus one or two. If a lane becomes express, less than 10, the resister would only scan say 12 items and then force payment on those items. No manager could override it when in that mode.

[GolfCart34]

Dude, do I have some stories about the x number of items or fewer lanes!

First, I just have to point out (because this bugs me) that x items or less is grammatically incorrect. I think my college english prof pointed out (and this is how I remember it) that less refers to the number of like items, not the exact number of items. Fewer, on the other hand, does refer to the exact number of items. The example the teacher gave us was this: let's say that you go into the store and buy 5 cans of tuna flavored cat food and 5 cans of chicken flavored cat food. Under the less than category, you technically have two items since you have several cans of the same flavor cat food. Under the fewer category, you have ten items because that is exactly how many cans you have. In all honesty, it's not the employees fault for not upholding proper grammar. Not only that, but it's a moot point to even argue the fact half the time. I have better things to do with my life than argue the minute differences between two words.

That being said, there is absolutely no excuse for people who blatantly go over the suggested limit at these registers. I have an annoyance and two stories to tell about this.

The first story is about something I read in the newspaper (and perhaps some folks here who live in eastern Massachusetts may have heard this story as well). A person goes into a grocery store and takes 13 items to the 12 items or fewer lane. The person behind him/her gets pissed off at her for taking more than the allowed number of items into the line. This person got so mad, in fact, that they followed the guilty party out of the store, into the parking lot, then proceeded to beat the crap out of them. That's exactly why I use a regular line if I have more than the allowed number items in a line. You don't know when some psycho is going to end up behind you and kick the crap out of you for having one more item than allowed.

The second story comes from a time when I was driving from the coast of NH to Boston in the middle of a snowstorm. Now, I really had to get back for a class the day after the snowstorm, so I was driving down to the Boston area in this raging snowstorm (p.s. thank you to the Mass DOT for having some of the best plowed roads in New England during snowstorms. You guys and gals rock! ). Normally this drives only takes about an hour and a half, but I was taking my time since I didn't want to get into an accident. Anyway, I get down so far and decided to stop at Wal-Mart and get some deicer washer fluid, gloves, and a scraper since my windshield was icing up and I ran out of deicer fluid. Anyway, I go in, get my stuff, then proceed right to the checkouts. Now, most of the cashiers were sent home, so there were only two lines open: an express line and a non-express line. This was also a few weeks before Christmas, so some people had decided to use that time to go shopping. One guy had two carts full of stuff he was buying and was going to donate to charity, so he went to the regular line. Well, this other family comes up, also with two carts of stuff (though not to donate to charity) and decided that they were too good to wait, so they proceeded to the express line. They also proceeded to break the order up into multiple batches of 15 items just to be under the limit. And when the cashier told them to go to the other line, they pulled the "We don't speak English." card, despite speaking perfect English a few moment prior. By this time there were a few people in front of me and a few people behind me in this line. The woman in front of me says (rather loudly so that they could here), "I don't understand why these people can't go to the regular line like normal people! I only needed to buy two things and it's a raging blizzard outside, so I also want to go home!" Now, this woman also knew that the cashier told them to go away, so she understood that it's not the cashier's fault at this point. That particular day it took me 20 minutes to make a purchase that normally takes me 5. Those people were by far the worst offenders of the policy.

Now, for the annoyance: why is it that people with a cart full of stuff always insist on going to the self scans, especially when they can't use them? I love the self scans from the aspect that if I have a couple of things they allow me to pay for my stuff and get on my way quickly. If I have more than 5 or 10 items, I go to a regular register as a courtesy so that others can get in and out quickly. Nothing irritates me more than people who take FOREVER at these registers, trying to figure out how they work. Seriously, that's what a cashier is for. To ring out large orders.

And one thing I've noticed (then I promise I'll shut up) is that one of the grocery stores my boyfriend and I frequent now has "about x (number of) items" at their express lane. I don't know how I feel about that because it sounds like it could be a set up for people who abuse the system.

[yomiko]

Actually, it's fewer for things that you can count out discretely. Less is for things like liquids. i.e. Less water in the glass, fewer glasses are needed. More is the opposite of both words so things get lost.

[rerant]

Dude, do I have some stories about the x number of items or fewer lanes!

First, I just have to point out (because this bugs me) that x items or less is grammatically incorrect. I think my college english prof pointed out (and this is how I remember it) that less refers to the number of like items, not the exact number of items. Fewer, on the other hand, does refer to the exact number of items. The example the teacher gave us was this: let's say that you go into the store and buy 5 cans of tuna flavored cat food and 5 cans of chicken flavored cat food. Under the less than category, you technically have two items since you have several cans of the same flavor cat food. Under the fewer category, you have ten items because that is exactly how many cans you have. In all honesty, it's not the employees fault for not upholding proper grammar. Not only that, but it's a moot point to even argue the fact half the time. I have better things to do with my life than argue the minute differences between two words.

I had to spend 13 weeks taking a grammar class for my college journalism course (thanks to those students in previous years who lacked basic grammar skills) and never was such a thing mentioned.
I think that's more of an out-dated rule that takes wording far too literally.
Each individual item, regardless as to whether or not it is a quantity, counts as a singular item.

Also, I'm a chick not a dude. But then again there's no way to have known that.

[Andara Bledin]

Actually, it's fewer for things that you can count out discretely. Less is for things like liquids. i.e. Less water in the glass, fewer glasses are needed. More is the opposite of both words so things get lost.

*nods*

Yup. Less is for volume, fewer is for quantity. And, yes, the grammar on those signs has irked me.

Although not half as much as the assmunches that think they're not included in having to follow the rules on said signs.

^-.-^