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The Cremains Nobody Wanted
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Old 01-21-2020, 07:59 PM
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Ghel Ghel is offline
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Default The Cremains Nobody Wanted

Heard an interesting story at the Chamber of Commerce meeting today and thought I’d share.

The local funeral home director was talking about some of the issues with the now-common practice of taking a loved one’s cremains home and storing them.

As an example, he told the story of a person who bought a house and went to put in a new garden. The bobcat dug up a small rectangular box with a funeral home’s name inscribed on it. They called the funeral home and got the director. He asked who they bought the house from and was able to bring up the records.

It turns out the prior owners had lost their daughter, had her remains cremated, and took them home with them. She liked playing in the yard, so they buried her cremains there. Years later, they got divorced, both moved out, and sold the house. The funeral home director was able to find phone numbers for both of them.

He called the ex-wife first. She yelled and swore at him for “digging up” her daughter. He tried to explain that he wasn’t the one who did it, it was the new owner. Also, they were supposed to disclose that there were human remains buried on the property before they sold the house. Well, she refused to do anything about it. Her daughter liked playing in the back yard, so she wanted her cremains to stay buried there.

So he called the ex-husband. Got hung up on. Called back. The guy swore at him. Said if he wanted to talk to him, he could talk to his lawyer.

He called the new owner back and told them what had happened. Told them that if they wanted the family members to do anything about their daughter’s remains, they would likely have to sue them.

He said they decided to re-bury the cremains farther back in the yard, near the property line, where there was a bit of woods. They’ll have to disclose that if they ever want to sell the house, but that’s something they’ll worry about if they ever decide to sell.
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Old 01-22-2020, 02:35 AM
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AnaKhouri AnaKhouri is offline
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This is a bit of a concern for me. We will have to buy a house this spring and my husband wants to plant a live oak in our new yard. I would like to bury my dad's ashes among the tree's roots but neither of us want to live in this state forever; we'd like to move back to our home state when the kids are grown and on their own. But I wouldn't feel right leaving my dad behind either.

At the moment he's in the guest bedroom closet. I wonder if I should disclose that to guests...
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Old 01-22-2020, 07:35 AM
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greek_jester greek_jester is offline
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How about scattering a handful of the ashes in the hole before the oak tree goes in, then taking the rest with you when you move? Since it's only a handful of ashes they would more or less dissolve and be absorbed into the tree, and in a case like that I'm not sure you'd need to disclose (although obviously check with your lawyer/estate agent when putting the house on the market).
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Old 01-23-2020, 02:04 PM
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Container not important. just spread them and it will work it's self out.
Really at this point dumping the ashes is not much more then dumping a grill made clear with the parents reaction.
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Old 01-30-2020, 06:27 AM
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Quote:
Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
Container not important. just spread them and it will work it's self out.
Really at this point dumping the ashes is not much more then dumping a grill made clear with the parents reaction.
I agree. That is appalling. It's nice that their daughter liked to play in the yard but it's THEIR daughter and it's now SOMEBODY ELSE'S yard. They no longer have a say in whether the yard gets dug up.

If I were the new owner and could afford it, I would probably find a niche in a columbarium and move them there. It would remove any problems in future about telling potential buyers that there are human remains on the property. The kid's parents can go to hell.
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Old 02-02-2020, 05:38 PM
workerbee222 workerbee222 is offline
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Odd that the previous owners didn't disclose the remains but the new ones would be required to, but I guess it's sort of an honor system.

There would be nothing at all to prevent them from simply disposing of the cremains elsewhere, destroying the box, and saying nothing about it to the parents. Truly, least said, soonest mended.
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Old 02-09-2020, 01:35 AM
Mental_Mouse Mental_Mouse is offline
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Quote:
Quoth workerbee222 View Post
Odd that the previous owners didn't disclose the remains but the new ones would be required to, but I guess it's sort of an honor system.
If the new owners wanted to, they could probably sue, but I can't believe that would be worth the trouble.
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