Why would a guy do this?

[snugglegirl05]

I met a musician on the bus several weeks ago when I was working the 2nd shift at the university I work at as a contract parking attendant for Visitor parking. Now I am working the first shift. We started talking. He did not ride the same bus I took home every Monday through Friday. Only when needed. I am currently in a relationship with another guy, which I told him. I did not mind being his friend, but I cannot be more than that.

He wanted to invite me to one of his concerts, & so he gave me his business card. He asked me to call him, but since I saw his e-mail, I chose to e-mail him instead. He responded several weeks later that he currently does not have a computer & that he had to use a computer that one of his band mates has. He asked me to call him, that he misses me & that he wants to see me soon. I sent the e-mail to my boyfriend so he knows what is going on. He told me it is ok with him that I go to the concert, & that the 2 of us can be friends. So I texted the musician. He called me to say hi.

Recently the musician saw me on the bus, & he suggested that we go to Starbucks one day. I said ok.

I do not text the musician that much. He texts me more than I text him.

Then this Wednesday he sent me a text at 12:04 asking me if I wanted to come to his place to listen to him play music. I did not get the text until Thanksgiving. I was at my boyfriend's place this Wednesday. I let my boyfriend know what he texted to me. He suggested that I let him know that I have a boyfriend. So I responded to his text stating that I am in a relationship with another guy.

What I do not get is why did it go from going to Starbucks to having me go to his place after midnight to listen to him play music?

[taurinejunkie]

I'm guessing it never was about the music.

[Sandman]

I'm guessing it never was about the music.

Or maybe music with heavy sax

[MoonCat]

I know you were just being nice, and you'd be fine having him for a friend, but he clearly is hoping for more. You could try inviting the guy to meet you AND your boyfriend for coffee, and see what happens.

[Jester]

Why? Because he is a guy that can't believe any girl would find him less desirable than any old boyfriend she happens to have.

In other words, he's a douchebag. Personally, I wouldn't bother with him anymore, as he's made it real clear that he is interested in one thing with you, and it's clearly not music.

[snugglegirl05]

What irritates me about him is that he sent me a text this past Wednesday stating Happy Thanksgiving. I was at my boyfriends place when this happened, & he heard the noise my cell phone makes when it receives a text. I showed him the text. He said "you might want to reply to that." So I replied back stating Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Then his response was the text that he sent me at 12:04 a.m. asking me if I wanted to come over to his place to listen to music. To me that is not your normal response to someone replying back happy Thanksgiving to you too. Not even close.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The only music this guy wants you to listen to is the music made by him banging his guitar pick against your buttcheeks. You're welcome.

[Redbeard]

Or maybe music with heavy sax

He wanted to practice his mouth techniques?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

You should not cultivate a friendship with someone who does not respect your relationships or your boyfrien or boundaries.

[TheSHAD0W]

It's called the "rope-a-dope", trying to wear you down to the point where he can get what he wants. It's also apparently an effective tactic. I recommend you back away.

[blas]

Ya know, I've been the victim of a guy who was adament that I should break up with my bf (at the time) just because I found out that he had something going for me. At least, that's what I think he was insinuating, in his own backwards way of thinking.

But he never tried to manipulate the situation, or anything. Just guilted me, which hurt just as bad, but at least he didn't try to force himself into the picture.

[snugglegirl05]

Update

Oh crap

I gave him my cell phone number several weeks ago. He has called me a couple of times, but I never called him to talk. Today he called me. I did not know what to say, & so I disconnected the call. Guess I will have to let the call go to voice mail & see what he wants.

[Redbeard]

All joking aside, the guy is, indeed a grade a douchebag.
Your best bet is just to stop returning his calls, don't responds to emails or texts, delete voicemails.
He's proven that he can't be trusted to treat you and your relationship with your b/f with respect, you need to cut him out or he won't give up.

[bhskittykatt]

Echo everyone's sentiments that this guy is a dbag. Just ignore him. Don't return his calls or texts. Hopefully, he'll move on and stop bugging you.

[Treasure]

I just had a friend tell me a similar "I'm married, and dude is texting inappropriate things" type situation - i'll tell you the same thing I told her...

block/delete his number and Ignore him; when he asks "What's up with that" as he will, you tell him, "You can't respect my relationship, i have nothing further to say to you"

leave it at that.... he gets no further chances....

the ONLY "music" made at a guy's apt after midnight is "Sheet" music.....

[internet cookies for the reference]