I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression

[snugglegirl05]

I am going through something I have never gone through in my entire life.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression due to difficulties in my personal life and the stress and unrealistic demands I face at work with the university parking office staff.

I wish I never had to deal with this.

Why must I deal with this?

Luckily I live with my mom, who is very supportive. She took me to the doctor yesterday. Because I do not have medical benefits, I have been put on zoloft.

I really do not want to go to work. I hope I can get some sort of leave soon. After that, I do not know yet.

[snugglegirl05]

Can you get your doctor to say that your depression and anxiety is being triggered by your job? Or even taking a paid sick leave, paid for be unemployment or some other agency?

I've been on Zoloft myself but I no longer take it. I hope you get a better job, one where you are treated a heck of a lot better than what you are experiencing now.

My mom called the counselor we were referred to by the doctor I went to yesterday to make an appt., but her rates were too high, & I would be paying out of pocket. There is an affordable healthcare program where I live. You have to fill out paperwork in order to get into the system. So once we found out that neither one of us could afford to pay the counselor's fees, we dropped off the paperwork at the office in the area we live. There are about 4 offices...one for a designated area where we live. Once you are approved, you will receive notice in the mail. It takes 14 business days for that to happen.

Tonight is the first night I take Zoloft. I hope I get a better job too. I just need to get better before I can consider looking for a better job.

[fireheart]

With any medication, keep an eye out for side effects as well. Also if you do need meds in the near future for anything, make sure you mention to the chemist that you're on Zoloft (even for OTC cold and flu meds, since the main ones I've found I can't have are some Dry Cough meds and anything with psuedoepi or dextromethorphan in it)

[snugglegirl05]

Update

I took my medication for the first time last night. I have not been to work since Monday. I am literally groggy. I cannot think. All I want to do is sleep. My mom has been in touch with my immediate supervisor at work. He has been looking into whether or no I am eligible for paid medical leave even though I only work part-time. She called the pharmasist to find out how long I will be groggy. It could be for a week. I cannot go to work like this. I need to get better before I go back to work. I am taking things day by day.

[snugglegirl05]

Another update

My mom called the doctor we went to this Tuesday to get the names of other counselors who do not charge as much as the first counselor the doctor referred us to. Sh told the doctor that the first counselor she referred me to cost too much The doctor gave her 2 names. She called one, & this particular counselor has much better rates. She said she is willing to work with me monetarily if she can help me. I have an appt. this Friday at noon.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Snugglegirl, I wish you the best. Anxiety and depression can be truly crippling. They are both very longstanding conditions for me, and I have tried many medications...they definitely help but I still struggle. My job is stressful also (though not the worst I've gone through) and it is really tough to deal with life sometimes. I've also had times when I probably should have had myself admitted for inpatient care, but fortunately I felt supported enough to stick it out. I won't rule it out in the future, though.

Keep in mind that you may need to go through several doctors/counselors and several different medications before you find the right combination for you. It's not an easy fix, unfortunately...but I'm glad you are getting help, and hope that you can get some leave from your job to help take the pressure off of you and get you into a better frame of mind. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

[Seshat]

I wish I never had to deal with this.

Why must I deal with this?

Everyone with a chronic illness or other disability, and everyone who cares for them, and everyone with severe circumstance problems, asks these two questions.

I've only ever seen one good answer to this. It was a Hagar the Horrible strip.

Hagar was standing in his boat, which was badly damaged. He was injured; basically everything the artist could draw in that was going wrong, could be.

He called up to the sky "WHY ME?"

And a voice from above asked "Why not?"

I took my medication for the first time last night. I have not been to work since Monday. I am literally groggy. I cannot think. All I want to do is sleep.

Psychoactive medications (anything that acts on your brain/mind/emotions) has an uptake period, and a withdrawal period. This is not to say that they're addictive in the dangerous sense: some can be, but they are prescribed rarely and only in controlled conditions.

During the uptake period, you can have almost any sort of side effect you can imagine. I had severe insomnia when I went onto Cymbalta for the first time. I've also been so light-sensitive I burned to peeling stage after ten minutes in the shade, been nauseous - there's a wide variety of possible effects. Grogginess and sleepiness are common uptake problems, especially for depression meds. Depression itself can cause both problems too.

The withdrawal period can be similarly uncomfortable.

That said, once past the uptake period, medication can reduce the effects of your problem to the point where you can feel normal again.



Now: what is depression, and how is it treated?

IMPORTANT NOTE: this is patient-to-patient information. While I consider myself knowledgeable in this area, please understand that I am not a professional.

Depression is a lasting feeling of sadness, or of lack of motivation, or of lack of joy in life, or of 'flatness'.

To be clinically significant, it must last over a certain period of time. A few days of 'being down' is not significant, it's part of the human experience. Months on end of being miserable is clinically significant.

It must also cause problems with the patient's quality of life. Depression almost always does, some other things that are mental abnormalities don't: many people live quite happily with synaesthesia, for instance. (Perceiving things in ways abnormal to most humans: 'seeing' sounds, for instance.)


Sometimes depression is 'consequential'. For instance, if a person is grieving the loss of a loved one, a sensible doctor will simply ensure the person has the support of a wise friend, their religious advisor, or some other suitable person; and will just keep an eye on the patient to be sure their grief is following a normal course.
If a person is depressed because of their circumstances, a sensible doctor will provide community support for those circumstances. Helping them get out of poverty, or get legal aid, or whatever is required.

If the consequential depression is severe enough, the doctor can provide medication to help lift their mood while the circumstances exist. My wife has a friend who actually needed hospitalisation to cope with the grief over the loss of his son; but once past that, he's been fine.


Similarly, depression can be a symptom of another illness. As I tell new doctors: 'I'm depressed, but who wouldn't be?' Noone can tell whether my depression is independent of, or a consequence of, my other illnesses.


And finally we come to what you seem to have: depression & anxiety independent of any known cause.
As far as medical science knows at this stage, something's gone wrong in your brain. Either anatomically or neurochemically: your brain isn't making enough endorphins (happy chemicals), or it's not receiving the endorphin signals, or .. well, something. Also, depression and anxiety appear to belong together; the chemistry that creates one creates the other.

Fortunately, we have also learned that the brain can be trained. Rather like training muscles!
Buddhist monks, who practice daily meditation, have brains which are trained towards calmness and quiet joy in life. You'll find that your counsellor keeps pushing meditation at you: this is why. It's exercise for your brain, and it teaches it to be un-anxious and joyful.
Your counsellor is also going to try one of the talking therapies: one of the ones many of them try first is 'cognitive behavioural therapy' also known as CBT. This teaches your brain to receive experiences, interpret them in a helpful (or even positive) way, and have an emotion that is helpful, if not positive, about them.
CBT training also teaches you how to use 'negative' emotions like anger and depression in a helpful and useful way.

So: the medication is to tweak your brain chemistry, and the talking therapy is to help you train your brain. Think of it as a kind of physiotherapy for the mind!

Once you've done your mind-physiotherapy, you may not need the medication anymore. Expect the doctor to step you down off it gradually; possibly even annoyingly slowly. He's doing that to minimise withdrawal symptoms, so be patient with him, please.

Also, if the Zoloft doesn't work for you, he'll try something else. Unfortunately, we can't do brain-chemistry tests without drilling a hole in the skull (NOT worth it), so choosing the right medication for a given patient is trial and error.

Good luck, and I hope this info helped.

[Sapphire Silk]

I am going through something I have never gone through in my entire life.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression due to difficulties in my personal life and the stress and unrealistic demands I face at work with the university parking office staff.

I wish I never had to deal with this.

Why must I deal with this?

Luckily I live with my mom, who is very supportive. She took me to the doctor yesterday. Because I do not have medical benefits, I have been put on zoloft.

I really do not want to go to work. I hope I can get some sort of leave soon. After that, I do not know yet.

Let's look a the good news for a minute.

1. You recognized you had a problem and sought help.
2. Your mother is supporting you and helping you during a difficult time
3. Your boss seems to be willing to look into the possibility of some kind of benefit for you.
4. You found a counselor who is willing to work with you on the money so you can get help.

These are good things. You can build on this. Hopefully this counselor will be able to help. Sometimes you have to try several before you find the right one. I hope you've hit a home run with this one. Ask for tools and homework you can use to build better coping mechanisms.

Remember, therapy can be very successful in treating short term depression like what you have. There is hope. Therapy works. In time, you should be able to stop taking medication altogether. I don't just say this as a nurse, I say this as a patient. I found a great therapist, worked hard on my issues, and now am medication free.

Tonight is the first night I take Zoloft. I hope I get a better job too. I just need to get better before I can consider looking for a better job.

It make take time to adjust to the Zoloft as Seshat pointed out. If the side effects don't go away or get worse, bring it up with your doc. You may need something else. But Zoloft is an effective drug and I hope it works for you.

The ultimate solution is to get another job. I understand you need to get in a better place first. But start looking as soon as is feasible. Just getting out of that toxic environment will help tremendously.

Good luck and best wishes!

[Seshat]

Panacea and I make a good team.

She covered the bases I didn't, and I second everything she said.

[fireheart]

When you got your prescription you should have gotten a sheet explaining the medication i.e. how it works, what's in it, what you can and can't take with it, side effects etc.
If you didn't get one, ask your pharmacist for one.

[snugglegirl05]

My first day back at work

I want to thank everyone who replied with their supportive words and basic information.

My appointment with the counselor went better than expected. My mom was with me the entire time. I did talk about my job, & she agreed that I am expected to do too much at work, but she did not suggest that I take any kind of leave.

My mom has been in touch with my immediate supervisor the entire time. He told her that I needed a work release from my doctor in order to return to work. She has also been under stress during this time dealing with my anxiety & depression.

There were problems with my work release. Last Friday mom and I went to the doctors office to get one from her. She stayed in the car, & she called my immediate supervisor to tell him that I would be back at work on Monday. Well...the doctor gave my a work release for Tuesday instead of Monday. I told mom what the doctor did after she told me that she told my immediate supervisor that I would be back at work on Monday. I also asked her to call him back. She told me that my returning to work day early should not be a big deal. She had a doctors appt. on Monday, but she could not go to it because she had car trouble. The doctor I went to and her doctor are in the same bldg.

My immediate supervisor was literally pissed when he found out that my work release had the wrong date on it. He was pissed at me when he called me, & he was pissed at my mom when she spoke to him on the phone. I was not in the mood to deal with him, & so I asked my mom to deal with him instead. Luckily everything was straightened out. My doctor had to fax a corrected work release to him.

The parking office staff are still acting like their usual pissy selves.