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Old 07-22-2006, 01:32 PM
Lace Neil Singer's Avatar
Lace Neil Singer Lace Neil Singer is offline
Urge to kill, rising...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: England
Posts: 4,415

The Cat Lady: All stores have one of these. This woman will come in covered in cat hair and will talk about nothing but her cats. If said shop is a food shop, she will spend a fortune on food for her cat and a paltry amount on her own food.

Mr Interrupter: He always talks over you, cuts you off and interrupts you. Whatever you're saying, even if you're just asking him if he needs help.

The Blatherer: Always yacking, either on a mobile or to a friend, and ignores you.

Entitlement King/Queen: They are the most important people in the history of the world and deserve to be treated as such!
People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
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Old 07-22-2006, 02:35 PM
Rapscallion's Avatar
Rapscallion Rapscallion is offline
Just some guy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wiffletown
Posts: 11,248

The Digger - always going to the back and bottom for the freshest gear.

The Notforme - never shops for themselves, but always talking about how it's for someone else. Always tells you this seven times a minute and uses it as a magic talisman against buying anything.

The Bouncer - "I don't want this one..." *boing* "I don't want that one..." *boing* Usually seen habiting the soft fruit section.

The Socialite - always manages to find someone they know and have intense conversation with them in the busiest thoroughfare in the store. Never listens to what the other person says, but concentrates solely on talking fifteen to the dozen.

The Snatcher - reaches over and tries to pull the receipt out of the till. If it's not torn off, it damages it, for those not having dealt with the older sorts of tills.

The Squatter - Gets some items, gets the till started, then wanders off to do their main shop.

I had many more - will add when I can think of them.

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Old 07-22-2006, 04:20 PM
Lace Neil Singer's Avatar
Lace Neil Singer Lace Neil Singer is offline
Urge to kill, rising...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: England
Posts: 4,415

The Bagsier: Leaves their full trolley next to an empty till, or dumps their full basket on the belt, then wanders off. Will be really angry if they come back to find you serving someone else.

Ms It'sForMyKids: Buys loads of crisps, cakes, chocolate bars and sweets. Will justify her choices by saying, "It's for the kids!" regardless of whether anyone's said anything to her.

Mr Shouty: Always shouts. Not a nasty person, just a very loud and eardrum shattering person.
People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
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Old 07-22-2006, 05:40 PM
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AFpheonix AFpheonix is offline
Drug Goddess
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,617

The Tweaker: Check her file, it's all valium, xanax, etc. She's literally hopping from one foot to the other and hyperventilating when she hands you yet another emergency script for 12 xanax. Asks if she can go down to Starbucks for a coffee while she waits. At close to midnight.

The Procrastinator: Hands me scripts that are standard ones for surgery of some type: a pain killer, an antibiotic, a NSAID, etc. dated for 3 weeks ago, then tells me that they need this "as soon as possible" for they are already late for their appointment.

Mr./Ms. Forgetful: I forgot to call in for my refill, I need it As Soon As Possible (oh, how I hate that phrase). When informed that the current wait is an hour long, which it should have been painfully obvious that we are busy by the fact that there's 10 people vulturing about the waiting area, throws a hissy.

The Medicaid patients that shouldn't be: Get all peeved if there's a small copay on something (usually the case for some narcotics or uber-expensive meds) yells for a bit, whips out a freaking razr cell phone to call someone, then grudgingly pulls out an italian leather wallet out of their gucci purse and tosses a few bucks at you. These ones piss me off more than anything. >

The Insurance idjits: Got new insurance and didn't bring the card, and got mad when you ask for the new coverage (I don't have to do any of this, they could just buy the stuff at retail and send the claim in the old fashioned way), or they don't understand what their coverage does and does not cover, or complain that their copay has never been this high (always so gratifying when you look back in their records and get to smugly inform them that either it used to be more expensive or that they've been paying the same price for a year).
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Another one
Old 07-22-2006, 08:01 PM
Mark Healey's Avatar
Mark Healey Mark Healey is offline
Wise and Mighty Poobah
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: San Diego, CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 579
Default Another one

I just deal with another one.

The Change Granny. - Why do old ladies always carry insane amounts of change and insist on giving ME exact change when I know that the only way she could have accumulated it all was by paying with notes elsewhere.
Proud to be a Walmart virgin.
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Old 07-23-2006, 01:07 AM
Mixed Bag's Avatar
Mixed Bag Mixed Bag is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 225

Quoth Rapscallion
The Bouncer - "I don't want this one..." *boing* "I don't want that one..." *boing* Usually seen habiting the soft fruit section.
Yeah, but you gotta love, in this automated age, being able to go to a store like Cost Plus with hand-blown glasses and scrutinizing them all for the one with your favourite colouring (actually I started doing that because I'd bought one once somewhere with a sharp burr at the bottom on the inside).

Not an SC, but worthy of mention: Boundlessly Grateful--As I was loading a large grocery order on the belt I instantly told a man who approached with a single item to go ahead. "Are you sure?!" (No, you're right, such courtesy is an affront to fainess. ) Repeated same experience seconds later with another fellow customer.

Webster--You tell caller yes, we carry referee jerseys; he makes special trip and is outraged to find they don't meet his defenition--hello, this store has *soccer*--and no other sports--in its name, we don't normally hear from those who are in other sports instead and make no mention of that fact.

Propmaster--Customers who complain they aren't equipped to dine unless the shakers are filled to the brim. Maybe if restaurants didn't have to have servers spend time on such cosmetic sidework they'd feel less put out when asked to do something that I think contributes far more to a pleasant dining experience--letting customers occasionally sit in the closed section when open tables are too hot/cold/dim/glaring/wobbly/cramped/noisy/hard.
I second that Frederick Douglass quote--unfortunately, so do a lot of SCs.
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Old 07-23-2006, 01:27 AM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,081

Another one...

The Tetris Game-the customer who buys a a big-screen TV or other large piece of furniture, then drives up in a small car, or a large-enough van or SUV loaded down with kids, groceries, other purchases, or just random garbage, and expects you to move things around so you can load up their item, or tie down their trunk lid, or tie the large item to the roof.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
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Old 07-23-2006, 02:16 AM
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HawaiianShirts HawaiianShirts is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,185

Quoth RecoveringKinkoid
The Comparison Shopper-keeps saying things like "Well, STAPLES is cheaper."
The company I work for calls these the Maniacal Price Shoppers. That's a term from corporate. They've even tried to give us guidelines as to how to best help these people.

Here are mine:

The Idiot Savant - They know nothing about the product they want until you show it to them or explain that it doesn't exist. Then they're suddenly EXPERTS on the subject and CERTAIN that what you've shown them isn't what they want, or what you said doesn't exist really does and you don't know what you're talking about.

The Telepaths - These give you a crumb of information about what they want and expect you to figure out the rest. Example: "I want to upgrade my computer... (expectant silence for five minutes)."

The Fashionably Late - On a good day, these show up about five minutes before closing and expect full service. Usually, however, they show up five minutes AFTER closing at the earliest and still expect full service.

The Desperately Early - They show up half an hour before the store opens and do one of two things. One: they demand you open early and sell them what they want; or, Two: they demand you open early and (assuming management decides to open early) wander aimlessly around the store without making a purchase.

The Deliberately Deaf - They ask questions. Intelligent and usually friendly questions. But when you start to answer, they cut you off with other questions, only to ask the same questions later and complain that they don't understand what's going on.

Phone Shopper, Type A - They call the store, typically at the busiest time of day, and ask twenty minutes worth of questions, expecting the same service they would get if they were really in the store. These often mutate into the Paris Hilton strain of Sucky Customer.

Phone Shopper, Type B - This is the escalated form of The Blatherer. This person does not trust salespeople or is too shy to talk to them. He or she comes in to a store to purchase a product he or she knows little or nothing about, then calls a friend on the cell phone. They will spend hours on the phone with said friend, wandering through the store trying to figure out which product to get. This is especially bothersome when the salesperson can overhear the conversation and knows within minutes EXACTLY which product to recommend.
I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
- Bill Watterson

My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
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Old 07-23-2006, 02:59 AM
Discourtesy Clerk's Avatar
Discourtesy Clerk Discourtesy Clerk is offline
Suckway Slave...still
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ninth Circle of Hell, California, USA
Posts: 188

Just a couple I've seen a lot of recently...

The Ice Block - the customer that apparently finds it totally acceptable to ignore everything the store employees say to them by acting like the employee isn't even there. Will only speak if they need us to do something for them, and will give very dirty looks if we can't meet their exact wishes (despite their request having been incredibly vague).

The Can't-Wait-Five-Seconds - Begins drumming fingers on the counter impatiently as soon as they get in line. However quickly the checker is moving, or however few items this customer has to ring up, they still act like a five-year-old waiting at the doctor's office. If there is any delay in their checkout at all, they will start muttering things under their breath such as "C'mon, c'mon, let's go," "Hurry it up," or my personal favourite, "I don't have all day." When the transaction's done, they usually signal their departure with a loud and obtrusive sigh, or even "Finally!" and storm off in a rush.

The Shield of Feigned Sweetness - the customer that sends employees off to do menial, ridiculous tasks for them (pick out a bag of fruit for them, run across the store to find a specific kind of cake that they totally could have picked up for themselves, throw away their used kleenex for them, etc.) while hedging their outlandish requests with syrupy-sweet "I hope it's not too much trouble"s, and "Oh, thank you soooooo much, I really appreciate that, now if you could just go and get ___ for me..."

The Obsessive-Compulsive - "Now, I'm gonna need the frozen foods double-bagged in paper with a plastic bag around the outside, and the breads need to be sorted by flavour into plastic bags with two loaves each, and when you load the stuff into the cart, make sure that the produce is on the right and the meat is on the left, and...hey! You can't put those there!!! The eggs go on TOP!!! "

Yep, my store's a freak magnet.

- D.C.
Discourtesy Clerk, purveyor of fine hay bales, pine scented douche and stuff that's not in bins since July 2006.
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Old 07-23-2006, 05:52 AM
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ArenaBoy ArenaBoy is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,709

The badge flasher - Cop who shows you his badge when he's off duty and thinks they don't have to pay when they can try and threaten to arrest you.

The I know the owner - Claims to know the owner but really doesn't.

I left it at home - Idiot who leaves money etc at their house.

The I know who your boss is - SC who claims to know your boss in order to get you in trouble for insipid things.
The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.
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