Sexual Harassment

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Sorry but I gotta say this..why didn't she just say "hey you are making me uncomfortable?" instead of just immediately reporting it to HR.

Because it's about as effective as telling your kid to ignore a bully--it does not work at all. In fact, it just eggs on the harrasser because they know they're getting a rise out of you.

If you go to management they will nip it in the bud right away, so as not to open themselves up to hostile work environment complaints.

[zzapp the witch]

My dad never told me to ignore a bully, he told me to pop them right in the nose. No more bully.

And as far as the harasser getting a rise out of you, that's why I said make it into a joke---no more rise, erase the issue, no more "fun" for the harasser. Or deflate the issue.

"Hey, nice rack!"
"Yeah, I know its nice, what's your point?"

/shrug Hey, its worked.

I'm just saying that you don't have to blindside someone with an accusation or escalate a situation when you endeavor to either make it a non issue and/or address it directly.

I guess I just come from the school of sexual harassment that teaches: Warn them or teach them, if that doesn't work, get help.

I just know that a lot of guys who consider themselves familiar or friendly with a gal get a bit thick when it comes to boudaries until you make it a point to set the boundaries up for them. I've also seen over-sensitive females that hunger for attention fixes get guys in trouble with a sexual harassment charge when all the guy was doing was complimenting her new dress.

Just devil's advocate up to a certain point I guess. I'm just one for working things out on my own. Don't get me wrong, I've had a stalker (may still have, saw him in the store following me around again, and its been a year), but I don't think like a victim, talk like a victim, walk like a victim, etc. Confidence in yourself CAN intimidate others into leaving you alone.

That last comment may feed into the whole "harasser getting a rise out of you" thing, but I've been counting and cutting and sorting shapes all day, my eyes are starting to hurt (and my fingertips, damn sheet brass).

Oh, and some sleazebags really don't get it, and should be smacked around ruthlessly, but I'm for doing that as a last resort, unless they touch me, then they DIE.

[Rolling Star]

Ugh...I hate dirty old men. I hope you get this issue resolved soon.

[Gravekeeper]

As I've said in another thread, women have boobs, men like boobs, men are going to look at/for boobs. Fact of life, you just have to learn how to coach men (even the grossest ones) to come within your parameters of acceptable behavior. It can be done, men are very trainable (except when it comes to toilet seats).

Ouch, give us SOME credit. We're not all apes nor are we some sort of trainable dog men. Just as not all women are slut monkeys. Sweeping generalizations = Failure.

As for sleaze, I get to avoid it since I work in a call center and I lack breasts. Except for back at my old office. For a while we had this one glorious client that sold various herbal supplements. Unfortunately they're biggest selling was the wannabe herbal aphrodisiacs. The client ( Much to our horror ) listed our number if you needed to call for directions on how to apply said aphrodisiacs.

So we would constantly get panting sleaze monkeys calling to try and get a female operator to "explain the directions" to them while they touched themselves. All of the morning operators were female. I was the only guy in the office in the morning. So like every 45 seconds I'd hear someone go "EW EW EW, Gravekeeper, help!" then park me a call. Then I'd have to talk to the Master of Bation until he gave up. They'd often beg me to pass them for a female operator "Ah c'mon man! Give em a lady!" or "C'mon bro, you're a guy too, cut me some slack, give me a girl."

(shudder)

Management canceled that client inside of two weeks because of all the sexual harassment. The client itself went under in like a month. Good riddance.

[Mike Taylor]

At previous job, we had a situation where one of the mall security guys would stop and leer at two of my girls when they were at front of the store demonstrating merchandise (Build-A-Bear, btw). It was especially bad during the week of Halloween, when the staff was dressed up. The primary focus of his unwanted attentions was a rather well-endowed young lady who was dressed as "Little Red Riding Hood", but the other girl, dressed like a Motown Diva, also got some unwelcome comments. They complained about him several times that day and pointed him out to me. At the end of my shift, I let the closing manager (I was the opener) know about the situation and went to the mall security office to report him.

As soon as I gave the description to the duty officer, he told me that the security guard had been reported for this before. Apparently other stores had a problem with this man. The guard was relieved of his job the next day.

[Swordsman422]

Don't forget your missed opportunity with the guy who couldn't remember your name.

A fellow whose first language is not English calls up for Gabby and says "Um, yes, I would like to speak to the girl there that I was talking to on (day I can't remember)... with the large breasts." I said "excuse me? Do you remember her name?" I know who she is talking about, bit I want to see if he knew. "No," he says, "But I remember she had large breasts. I would like to speak to her please." I can't remember what I said to him after that but it was to the effect of "she's not in. Please find some manners. Thank you." and hung up.

Apparently, Gab, you're just a walking pair of cans to some people!

[Rapscallion]

I'm fairly certain I'm going to get flamed and maybe a mail from a mod about going back to biting my tongue,

Why would you? You're not saying anything I aren't thinking.

If this degenerates into a slanging match, we'll step in.

Rapscallion

[DannyboyO1]

I will say, it's a LOT easier to deal with flirtatious customers as a guy. Customer service at my last callcenter... well, I'd be fully aware that the ladies were getting to talk to That Guy. Maybe a previously banned customer calling on behalf of his mom's account. Maybe a new pervert. The guys who just sound oily... and don't hold back even one iota of the fetid garbage emanating from their twisted psyches.

As a guy... these wretches would normally hang up during my greeting. I'd suspect something was up when I'd get five in a night.

As a guy, of similar rarity... I'd get the ones who'd think I should be in radio. One lass tried to set me up with her mother. The both thought it was cute that I got audibly embarassed.

Closest I got to true discomfort tho was a lady trying to change a setting deep in her phone's menus, and stated that my voice wasn't helping her keep her mind off her evidently late date. After a couple of her nonverbal cooing sounds... I offered to speak like Donald Duck. Gave it my best shot. "And thewn yew need abrikaw snettig. Gawt dat? Bewwy good." (Sorry, I can't think how to type the nasally quality.) Which seemed to really break up the mood with a lot of laughter.

[kibbles]

Why would you? You're not saying anything I aren't thinking.

If this degenerates into a slanging match, we'll step in.

Rapscallion

ITA 1000% Raps...and zzap's post said it better than I could ever say. Excellent points made IMO.

[zzapp the witch]

Gravekeeper:

I do give you some credit, you obviously aren't an ape or a trainable dog man, therefore, what I said doesn't apply to you. Different battlefields require different fighting tactics, so consider yourself French.

And Raps, wouldn't "ain't" used as the contraction of "am not" be grammatically correct? "I aren't" just isn't doing it for me.



(And yes, that's a bad French joke).

[Gravekeeper]

I don't want to be French. ><

[Kara]

As for sleaze, I get to avoid it since I work in a call center and I lack breasts.

Well, if you really want to experience the dark side of sleaze, there is a procedure for that.

I don't want to be French. ><

If anyone could be French by choice, Quebec wouldn't exist.

/zing!

I once thought I could avoid the various situations described in this thread. Sure, guys are going to look and can look all they want, but all I had to do was let them know they were barking up the wrong tree with me. It usually works, but every once in awhile it backfires makes them more interested. I wish I had a big anime mallet with which to whomp them.

[Rapscallion]

And Raps, wouldn't "ain't" used as the contraction of "am not" be grammatically correct? "I aren't" just isn't doing it for me.

I think that comes under the heading of colloquialism. Buggered if I know beyond that.

Rapscallion

[Eireann]

If a man likes the way I look and wants to talk to me while being respectful of my time, personal space, and feelings, I have no problem with that. If he's a leering, invasive, pervert, he can just f*** right off, and I don't care if he has the face and form of an angel. I've had many experiences where I found myself very attracted to some guy, only to find that his personality (such as it was) was thoroughly detestable. Bye-bye. I could never find them attractive again, after that. And it's just as well.

Some guy tried to grope me on a tram a couple of summers ago. He sat behind me (tram was mostly empty) and suddenly, I noticed a hand between myself and the wall of the tram.

I moved to another seat, at the rear of the tram, so I could keep an eye on him. Then I got mad over the whole thing.

Before I got off the tram, I poured some of my water directly on his crotch.

[DesignFox]

Gabrielle, I feel your pain! I'm glad you'll be reporting this slime ball. I reported the guy in my Ew. Ew. Ew. post to my manager. He said if the sleaze says one more horrid thing to me to call him right away and he'll come down and take care of the guy. And he will NOT be welcome in our store again!