Woes of a Pizza Delivery Guy

[Tyg3rW01f]

MOAR SC madness at Woes of a Pizza Delivery Guy...
We had our delivery zones RE-adjusted for the NINTH time in TWENTY-SEVEN MONTHS back in September. What this entails is the drop of this street or that street, pick-up of another on the other side of town, maybe a corporate mandate to NEVER deliver to a particular address again due to the number of complaints, OR one douche-bag Supervisor deciding to steal 3 entire grid squares so he can wear a nice shiny new $500 Rolex that Corporate bought off the local street-corner retail-guy in NYC for less than $8.
Now, this guy who shall be named "Fing J. Ackass" to protect MY @5$, has been outside the delivery zone since 2012, but has continued to call, and harass, and complain, and gripe, and bitch. This would NOT be an issue, except for the ONE driver, K., who has ROUTINELY delivered to him on those night shifts when the manager who listens to the "I'm Going to Sugar-Coat My Life for Sympathy show" on 98.5 What The F*** Mate works. (S. and K. are two individuals who are so tuned in to the touchy-feely they can't be bothered to follow such guidelines as OUT OF AREA.)
NOW, Fing J. Ackass calls us up on a night that is not only a night when S. and K. do NOT work, but is worked by myself and H. the main night manager. PLUS, my GM was working the dinner rush as well. I politely inform Mr. Ackass he has been out of area for three months, and he comes back with the following:
"Look, you lying sack of shit. I have gotten deliveries from you assholes for the last year and a half. If you don't take my order now and deliver my fucking pizza, I'm going to call your goddamn general manager for your fucking corporate number then have your ass!"

I turn him over to my GM, who then gets cussed a nice one.
This pattern continues for over an hour before Fing J. Ackass calls back, saying he's FINALLY decided to curse on of our competitors with his assholery.

[Tyg3rW01f]

NOT an SC, but a HIGHLY UNUSUAL question from a Customer nonetheless!!

IS YOUR CHEESE KOSHER?

uhhhh... how much trouble would I be in if I said "Yes" to get you to order a pizza?

[Ternasthebard]

uhhhh... how much trouble would I be in if I said "Yes" to get you to order a pizza?

Well let's see what trouble someone could actually come up with and the company could pin on you.

Attempted Lawsuits for:

False Advertising
Willful Fraud
Religious Intolerence
Whiplash
Bait and Switch
Attempted Murder
Pain and suffering from having eaten a pizza with non-kosher cheese.
And finally, probably a ruined holiday.

Hmmm, Looking at that list I'd say probably not that much trouble at all if the company and judicial system realize exactly how frivolous the attempted lawsuit would be. Then again, IANAL and only had some Business/Contract Law classes as part of my degree and therefore I'm not that up on the particulars of some of those other things.

[otakuneko]

Well, cheese can be kosher apparently.

There's varying levels of kosher-following too. I know an ethnic Jew who will happily eat a pizza...so long as it doesn't have any meaty toppings. And then of course there are the ones who just don't care.

[Tama]

Well that does fall under "ye shall not seethe a kid in his mother's milk" which basically means you can have a burger, but no cheese. Or a cheese pizza, but it can't have beef.

[EricKei]

there was a large, fairly rough neighborhood in the southeast corner of our delivery zone, and a car topper in THAT neighborhood was essentially a giant, lighted 'ROB ME' sign.

Same here. This was over a decade ago, so...DaddyJim's Pizza in Metry. Store right next to Doctor's Row (read: small plots of bare land started at $250K), with us right next a to a major jewelry store. Bare edge of our delivery area was a place called Shrewsbury -- bordering on Airline, our major Red Light District street (How bad was it? They had to pass a law that ONLY applied to Airline and nearby streets, disallowing hourly motel room rentals...). Shrewsbury was one of those areas that only Domino's goes to, normally -- we normally went there only if a driver was willing.

We had a decent-sized order for a house there, and one of our braver/dumber drivers said he'd be willing to take the run (not the guy who openly sold...er...recreational substances...on his route, surprisingly enough), so we accepted the order. This was at night >_< Long story short, he was fired uponthe second he got ten feet into the area, and promptly hauled ass; he was uninjured. That was the last straw -- we wiped the area from our computer, where it remained off-limits...

...Until several years later -- after the store moved to a new location on Airline (the jewelry store wanted to expand), directly across the street from the main entrance into the Shrewsbury area. *sigh* Even if I still lived in Metry, you couldn't pay me enough to even set foot in that stripmall after dark, let alone work there. I feel sorry for the guys who work there x.x Natch, the average tip dropped by about a buck as a result of the shifted delivery zones almost immediately. Being able to pull off 20-minute deliveries to the people who made Texa$, back at the prior location, had its advantages ~_~

That really sucks. Most folks can't afford to lose three grand like that.

I deffo can't now, and I could barely do it then -- but he would do it $100-200 at a time, and often disguise it. Most of it happened during the busy season (late December~early February), when our tech support volume would routinely triple -- I worked on commish, so he would simply fudge the math on my paychecks (stuff like 10hoursx$20commish=$180), hoping it would take me a while to notice while I was overwhelmed and overworked. As I mentioned, once I DID notice, he would fudge the commission hours themselves, so that the math would tally up with what he wanted to actually pay me. This was a contract violation, in addition to being possible payroll fraud. Over six years, my best guess is that I was out over 20 grand due to him ignoring my contract and playing with my commish as well (which WAS an overt contract violation that he refused to rectify) -- but no lawyer was interested (despite me having proof), and I had Dad's medical bills to pay (may he R.I.P.), so I was afraid to risk losing the job by making a big fuss. Plus, this guy had connections.

they can't be bothered to follow such guidelines as OUT OF AREA.)

Back at DaddyJim's, there were only two Franchisees for all of the DJ's pizzas in town -- they were, iirc, brothers, but they were fiercely competitive. We were on the eastern borderline between the two, and otherbrother had made it abundantly clear that any delivery-area violations would have been met with an immediate breach-of-contract lawsuit, with the direct support of Corporate. Our manglement made damn sure we stayed within the lines...

[Tyg3rW01f]

well, I have to admit, I've been having some good luck with customers of late...

...we've been getting some calls from a zone called "Pine Crest"; it's out of our area, but in the area of our store in the southern end of the next town over. I've fielded six such calls. Five have been politely referred to our sister store, with good result.
The sixth, however, WAS a delivery that I was told to take. Okay, not a problem. I get to the address, and inform the customer he is, sadly, out of my store's area, but he is in the area of our other store. Dude tells me, "I didn't know there WAS another store."
Good thing I brought a menu with the number circled!
Dude wishes me "Merry Christmas", THANKS me for telling him, then hands me $8 as a tip!

[mikoyan29]

NOT an SC, but a HIGHLY UNUSUAL question from a Customer nonetheless!!

IS YOUR CHEESE KOSHER?

uhhhh... how much trouble would I be in if I said "Yes" to get you to order a pizza?

No...but the pepperoni is...

[dalesys]

No...but the pepperoni is...

Yep, we cosh the pigs, so they're cosher'd piggses.

[wolfie]

Are you trying to tell me that the hams sold by $Major_Pork_Processing_Company, that have been labeled "Kosher for Passover" ever since the company was bought out by $Foreign_Country (known for the "melamine powder in the wheat gluten" scandal a few years back) AREN'T kosher?

[Bright_Star]

So in theory they could hand you a dollar or two for a 10 dollar pizza & you couldn't say anything?? Fuck that shit!! ANY business, if they handled money like that, wouldn't stay in business for too long. So you can't count the money the customers hand you because it might offend them? Do it anyway! Cover your ass! AND if a customer is that anal then then they can make their own damn pizza or whatever!

[Ironclad Alibi]

So in theory they could hand you a dollar or two for a 10 dollar pizza & you couldn't say anything??

Not counting the money the customer gives you only works if they don't count the money back at the store. Why should the delivery guy trust the customer when the store doesn't trust the delivery guy?