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I don't normally post because where I work isn't exactly retail. Most of the people I deal with are professional and don't give me too many problems. But lately there've been a few. Because what I do is something of a niche market, I'm going to use a convoluted metaphor to obfuscate the matter. It's the suck that really counts anyway, right?
The Metaphor
Let's pretend that I work at a sewing business. My main job is sewing things that my boss wants me to sew. Because sewing machines are expensive, the office also has a few machines of different types that we let other people use. We will train first-time users on the machine they're going to use, and each machine has a step-by-step quickie guide that they can use to refresh their memory. I or one of my coworkers is usually around if they have questions, but for the most part everything is self-service. We also perform maintenence and troubleshooting on the machines.
The prices we charge to use the machines are very low (0 profit margin) and are based on the assumption that they are operating the machines without significant aid. The machines are also robust enough that as long as you make a vague attempt to follow the instructions, you will not break the machine. You might ruin your project, but the machine will be fine.
We provide machine-specific parts, such as machine needles and bobbins, but users are expected to bring their own thread, straight pins, scissors, and so-forth. If someone forgets something they need, we can at our discretion let them use our tools. We usually do this with a warning that next time they need to bring their own. If their project would use up a whole bunch of something, we will send them home to get whatever it is that they forgot.
In addition to the self-service sewing machines, we have the equivalent of a big programmable embroidery machine. People will submit their item to be embroidered to us, give us the specifications, and we run the machine. It is too big, expensive, and complex for us to let outside people operate. Most people would probably ruin their embroidery project if they attempted to operate the machine.
A further complication is there is a metaphorical embroidery design studio next door. The owner there (N) will help people design their embroidery and prepare it for use on our machine. We are not directly affiliated with this studio, and while we might chat occasionally with the owner, there is no direct line of communication between him and us.
I think that's enough obfuscation, so let's move on to the stories.
Timesink Lady
Timesink lady is a nice enough lady, but she wants to chat with you while she uses the machines. She wants to explain in-depth about all of her design choices and she wants you to pay enough attention that you can reassure her that she's picked the right needle, the right stitch, and the right thread. Every time you reassure her that her settings will probably work fine, she adds another layer of indirection, another anecdote that explains why she isn't completely confident in her choice of settings. She does not provide any alternate setting and ask if it is better. She just comes up with more and more little reasons why the setting she did pick might not be quite right -- what she did was special in some way, and so she isn't sure if the normal guides on what stitch and stitch-length take into account her particular corner case.
Timesink lady will continue to ask for reassurance the entire time she's using the machine, and expect you to validate her entire sewing project. At every level of detail. "I chose green, you see, because I thought blue might be too bright. But the project I'm basing it off of used a royal blue, and so I'm not sure if green is going to cause any problems. My fabric is a little more stiff this time around. Should I use a sharper needle on the machine or do you think it will be okay? I'm just worried that the fabric might have too much dye to it..." And so on.
The Saga of S
S doesn't really have a nickname, but S has had a number of difficulties, most of which have been S's fault. S is fairly new to the metaphorical sewing gig, although he's worked with fabric before. (Yeah, so it's not a perfect metaphor.) Anyway, S goes next door to the embroidery design shop and has N help him design an embroidery project. Because S intends to run his embroidery project on our machine, he sends my assistant manager, X, copies of every email involved in the project design. Since it's not his job to be a design consultant, X ignores the emails.
S comes to us to use our sewing machines to prep his project for the final embroidering stage. We teach S how to use our machines. S sews up his project and then hands it to us for embroidering. X has S fill out a form that tells us the details (what type of thread, whether the design needs to be outlined, etc.), and we run the project. However, S neglected to list on the form that a special setting was required for his particular project. Because S had copied X on all the emails between S and N, and that detail was present in the emails, S blames X for not catching the mistake. X explains that it's not his job to understand S's sewing project. It's S's job to communicate his needs.
S also gets upset at N for not making sure we knew about the setting. Remember, N doesn't work for or with us, he just happens to be next door. N tells S that S was informed that he needed to mark this setting on the form and that the embroidering machine would be run using only the information on the form. S doesn't want to believe it's his own fault. N finally has to talk to S's boss and explain what happened.
S Recently
After much back and forth, S realizes he has to start over. It has been a number of months since S has used our sewing machines, but he comes back and starts using one. He tries to sew with it, but has set it up incorrectly. After a few failed attempts, he asks me for help. I explain to him that his metaphorical bobbin is in backwards. The bobbin is put in correctly and S is able to sew.
The next day, S wants to use another, very different, sewing machine. Let's call it a serger, because if you mess up too badly with it, you'll destroy your sewing project and have to start over. S arranges to spend time on the machine, and so I set it up for him ahead of time, since no one else is scheduled to use it. S comes in and he wants me to completely re-train him on the serger. His excuse? It's been too long and there are tips and tricks that only people who use it frequently would know. And he doesn't want to break the machine.
There are multiple problems with this.
1. This is a self-service shop. New users get trained once, but the rest are expected to be able to follow directions on the quick start guide.
2. I have my own project I was working on. But I'm supposed to drop my sewing to help him with his?
3. I almost never use the serger. I know how to use it, but S has used it far more recently than I have. I would essentially be reading him the quick-start guide.
4. Our sewing-machine use prices are set to break even, with the understanding that the person doing the sewing doesn't need supervision.
I try repeatedly to explain this to him, but S continues to insist that I re-train him on using the serger. I finally agree but stipulate that this time S needs to pay enough attention so that he doesn't need additional help the next time he uses it, even if it's several months or a year from now. S continues to argue with me. My and X's boss, V, walks by and sees S arguing with me. V tells S that if he has a problem with the policy, he needs to talk to X, and if that's not sufficient, that he needs to take it up with V himself, but that he shouldn't be bothering me about the usage policy.
V leaves. S makes the catbutt face. I get started on helping S to re-learn the serger. S places his supplies on B's (another coworker's) work area, and I ask S to move them to the serger table as B gets upset when someone uses his work area. S grudgingly complies.
Back to the serger. S is having trouble threading the needle with his particular thread - it needs a needle threader. I inform S that we don't supply needle threaders and he will need his own. S snatches up his sewing project, "Fine. Maybe we'll do this another day." He starts to storm off when assistant manager X shows up.
V had sent X to deal with S, and X spends a good deal of time explaining our policy to S, the reasons behind our policy (liability, use of employee time, etc), over and over. S tells X that we have bad customer service and threatens to take his embroidery project elsewhere. After all, he has a deadline to meet, and where he's from (European country), they treat their customers better there. X finally gets S calmed down, and S leaves, but leaves all of our serger-related supplies sitting out, instead of put away.
Now S wants to stand there while we program and load the embroidery machine with his project. I told X I'm not running the machine if S is going to hover - X agreed that he'd do it if S insisted on being present. And so that's where things stand today.
Whew...
I hope that made at least some sort of sense. Most of the people I deal with are reasonable, intelligent, and professional, to the point where I don't generally think of them as customers. But every once in a while someone shows up that I dread having to deal with... S and Timesink Lady are the only two so far.
The Metaphor
Let's pretend that I work at a sewing business. My main job is sewing things that my boss wants me to sew. Because sewing machines are expensive, the office also has a few machines of different types that we let other people use. We will train first-time users on the machine they're going to use, and each machine has a step-by-step quickie guide that they can use to refresh their memory. I or one of my coworkers is usually around if they have questions, but for the most part everything is self-service. We also perform maintenence and troubleshooting on the machines.
The prices we charge to use the machines are very low (0 profit margin) and are based on the assumption that they are operating the machines without significant aid. The machines are also robust enough that as long as you make a vague attempt to follow the instructions, you will not break the machine. You might ruin your project, but the machine will be fine.
We provide machine-specific parts, such as machine needles and bobbins, but users are expected to bring their own thread, straight pins, scissors, and so-forth. If someone forgets something they need, we can at our discretion let them use our tools. We usually do this with a warning that next time they need to bring their own. If their project would use up a whole bunch of something, we will send them home to get whatever it is that they forgot.
In addition to the self-service sewing machines, we have the equivalent of a big programmable embroidery machine. People will submit their item to be embroidered to us, give us the specifications, and we run the machine. It is too big, expensive, and complex for us to let outside people operate. Most people would probably ruin their embroidery project if they attempted to operate the machine.
A further complication is there is a metaphorical embroidery design studio next door. The owner there (N) will help people design their embroidery and prepare it for use on our machine. We are not directly affiliated with this studio, and while we might chat occasionally with the owner, there is no direct line of communication between him and us.
I think that's enough obfuscation, so let's move on to the stories.
Timesink Lady
Timesink lady is a nice enough lady, but she wants to chat with you while she uses the machines. She wants to explain in-depth about all of her design choices and she wants you to pay enough attention that you can reassure her that she's picked the right needle, the right stitch, and the right thread. Every time you reassure her that her settings will probably work fine, she adds another layer of indirection, another anecdote that explains why she isn't completely confident in her choice of settings. She does not provide any alternate setting and ask if it is better. She just comes up with more and more little reasons why the setting she did pick might not be quite right -- what she did was special in some way, and so she isn't sure if the normal guides on what stitch and stitch-length take into account her particular corner case.
Timesink lady will continue to ask for reassurance the entire time she's using the machine, and expect you to validate her entire sewing project. At every level of detail. "I chose green, you see, because I thought blue might be too bright. But the project I'm basing it off of used a royal blue, and so I'm not sure if green is going to cause any problems. My fabric is a little more stiff this time around. Should I use a sharper needle on the machine or do you think it will be okay? I'm just worried that the fabric might have too much dye to it..." And so on.
The Saga of S
S doesn't really have a nickname, but S has had a number of difficulties, most of which have been S's fault. S is fairly new to the metaphorical sewing gig, although he's worked with fabric before. (Yeah, so it's not a perfect metaphor.) Anyway, S goes next door to the embroidery design shop and has N help him design an embroidery project. Because S intends to run his embroidery project on our machine, he sends my assistant manager, X, copies of every email involved in the project design. Since it's not his job to be a design consultant, X ignores the emails.
S comes to us to use our sewing machines to prep his project for the final embroidering stage. We teach S how to use our machines. S sews up his project and then hands it to us for embroidering. X has S fill out a form that tells us the details (what type of thread, whether the design needs to be outlined, etc.), and we run the project. However, S neglected to list on the form that a special setting was required for his particular project. Because S had copied X on all the emails between S and N, and that detail was present in the emails, S blames X for not catching the mistake. X explains that it's not his job to understand S's sewing project. It's S's job to communicate his needs.
S also gets upset at N for not making sure we knew about the setting. Remember, N doesn't work for or with us, he just happens to be next door. N tells S that S was informed that he needed to mark this setting on the form and that the embroidering machine would be run using only the information on the form. S doesn't want to believe it's his own fault. N finally has to talk to S's boss and explain what happened.
S Recently
After much back and forth, S realizes he has to start over. It has been a number of months since S has used our sewing machines, but he comes back and starts using one. He tries to sew with it, but has set it up incorrectly. After a few failed attempts, he asks me for help. I explain to him that his metaphorical bobbin is in backwards. The bobbin is put in correctly and S is able to sew.
The next day, S wants to use another, very different, sewing machine. Let's call it a serger, because if you mess up too badly with it, you'll destroy your sewing project and have to start over. S arranges to spend time on the machine, and so I set it up for him ahead of time, since no one else is scheduled to use it. S comes in and he wants me to completely re-train him on the serger. His excuse? It's been too long and there are tips and tricks that only people who use it frequently would know. And he doesn't want to break the machine.
There are multiple problems with this.
1. This is a self-service shop. New users get trained once, but the rest are expected to be able to follow directions on the quick start guide.
2. I have my own project I was working on. But I'm supposed to drop my sewing to help him with his?
3. I almost never use the serger. I know how to use it, but S has used it far more recently than I have. I would essentially be reading him the quick-start guide.
4. Our sewing-machine use prices are set to break even, with the understanding that the person doing the sewing doesn't need supervision.
I try repeatedly to explain this to him, but S continues to insist that I re-train him on using the serger. I finally agree but stipulate that this time S needs to pay enough attention so that he doesn't need additional help the next time he uses it, even if it's several months or a year from now. S continues to argue with me. My and X's boss, V, walks by and sees S arguing with me. V tells S that if he has a problem with the policy, he needs to talk to X, and if that's not sufficient, that he needs to take it up with V himself, but that he shouldn't be bothering me about the usage policy.
V leaves. S makes the catbutt face. I get started on helping S to re-learn the serger. S places his supplies on B's (another coworker's) work area, and I ask S to move them to the serger table as B gets upset when someone uses his work area. S grudgingly complies.
Back to the serger. S is having trouble threading the needle with his particular thread - it needs a needle threader. I inform S that we don't supply needle threaders and he will need his own. S snatches up his sewing project, "Fine. Maybe we'll do this another day." He starts to storm off when assistant manager X shows up.
V had sent X to deal with S, and X spends a good deal of time explaining our policy to S, the reasons behind our policy (liability, use of employee time, etc), over and over. S tells X that we have bad customer service and threatens to take his embroidery project elsewhere. After all, he has a deadline to meet, and where he's from (European country), they treat their customers better there. X finally gets S calmed down, and S leaves, but leaves all of our serger-related supplies sitting out, instead of put away.
Now S wants to stand there while we program and load the embroidery machine with his project. I told X I'm not running the machine if S is going to hover - X agreed that he'd do it if S insisted on being present. And so that's where things stand today.
Whew...
I hope that made at least some sort of sense. Most of the people I deal with are reasonable, intelligent, and professional, to the point where I don't generally think of them as customers. But every once in a while someone shows up that I dread having to deal with... S and Timesink Lady are the only two so far.
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