Basically, similar to 'A canonical list of SC' except rather then listing types of customers this is more of a -this is what I'd like to say but won't because I want to keep my job- in response to a certain type of customer showing up.
"I'm closed can't you see the sign" for those customers who like to line up at closed tills.
"Pack you're own damn bags then" for those customers who either are uber specific of how they want their bags packed (yet you can never seem to do them properly) or who feel the need to unpack everything an repack.
"No, I just come here to hang out and wear the uniform." A Direct mental reply to 'do you work here?' When you are quite clearly wearing a uniform that can't be confused with normal people clothes. (For instance wearing the rather distinctive WalMart blue vest)
"I've heard that so many times today, and just like the first time you aren't funny" for those 'I guess it's free then' customers when items don't scan.
"How have you gotten this far in life without basic understanding of how to use a pinpad?" For those who can't seem to understand that you don't know their PIN number and no we can't override that feature. Especially if you don't have tap. Bonus points if they *have* tap but refuse to use it.
"Your total is $30, you handed me a $20, yes you do still owe me money. Why? Because 30 is a bigger number then 20. I'm not even that bad at math" usually accompanied by either the 'where's my change?' look or verbally asks why you aren't processing the order.
"I am the supervisor. No there isn't anyone on right now who outranks me you idiot." Usually comes in late just before close and can't seem to comprehend why there isn't everyone from supervisor to store owner in the building, just to serve them. Won't listen to we can give you a call back spiel either.
"I'm not a damn bank you asshole." The kind of customer who either wants a ton of money cash back, wants a certain kind of change in a large amount (usually 5s and 10s), or is there with the only purpose to exchange his money (usually a lot of it) for smaller bills rather then buy something. Bonus points if there's an actual bank within 5minutes walk.
"If anyone can do it then why are you talking to me then?" for those customers who can't seem to understand that either quality takes time to do or that there's a reason you are being paid for your actual physical effort and not just supplies. Sometimes paired up with "If you think you can do it better then just do it yourself"
"I'm closed can't you see the sign" for those customers who like to line up at closed tills.
"Pack you're own damn bags then" for those customers who either are uber specific of how they want their bags packed (yet you can never seem to do them properly) or who feel the need to unpack everything an repack.
"No, I just come here to hang out and wear the uniform." A Direct mental reply to 'do you work here?' When you are quite clearly wearing a uniform that can't be confused with normal people clothes. (For instance wearing the rather distinctive WalMart blue vest)
"I've heard that so many times today, and just like the first time you aren't funny" for those 'I guess it's free then' customers when items don't scan.
"How have you gotten this far in life without basic understanding of how to use a pinpad?" For those who can't seem to understand that you don't know their PIN number and no we can't override that feature. Especially if you don't have tap. Bonus points if they *have* tap but refuse to use it.
"Your total is $30, you handed me a $20, yes you do still owe me money. Why? Because 30 is a bigger number then 20. I'm not even that bad at math" usually accompanied by either the 'where's my change?' look or verbally asks why you aren't processing the order.
"I am the supervisor. No there isn't anyone on right now who outranks me you idiot." Usually comes in late just before close and can't seem to comprehend why there isn't everyone from supervisor to store owner in the building, just to serve them. Won't listen to we can give you a call back spiel either.
"I'm not a damn bank you asshole." The kind of customer who either wants a ton of money cash back, wants a certain kind of change in a large amount (usually 5s and 10s), or is there with the only purpose to exchange his money (usually a lot of it) for smaller bills rather then buy something. Bonus points if there's an actual bank within 5minutes walk.
"If anyone can do it then why are you talking to me then?" for those customers who can't seem to understand that either quality takes time to do or that there's a reason you are being paid for your actual physical effort and not just supplies. Sometimes paired up with "If you think you can do it better then just do it yourself"
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