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  • #1

    Random sighting.

    ok, Idk if this is my fault or the customers, so posting it here.

    A mom comes in with her baby who cries a little bit during the transaction. After a few minutes the mom begins nursing her. I don't say anything to her about it, just continue with my job while trying to avert my eyes. I was actually a bagging for this lady, to help out the cashier, as I didn't have any lines. Customer actually gets angry cause I try to avoid watching. I don't think i was glaring or giving a mean look, and I didn't say anything about the baby either. I continue finishing up the order and she suddenly asks to speak to a manager. I'm sorry if I sound sucky here (which is why i posted here bc i wasn't sure). tho i didnt mean to come across that way but it might have bc i tried to avoid looking when possible. Before any moms on this site attack me, I have no problem with nursing at all. If i have babies of my own, I plan to do it too, however I don't really want to watch someone else do it. And I understand that when a baby's hungry they need to eat but I'd still prefer to not watch if I don't have to. She was kind of covered up but i could still tell what was going on.
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  • #2
    You did nothing wrong, as a mom I'd have been offended if you DID stare. She just wanted a reason to complain, with as much news breastfeeding moms have been given lately, she probably was hoping you'd say something so she could sue. And when you didn't, she got mad.

    And I breast fed.
    Last edited by Kittykat; 03-09-2014, 07:04 AM. Reason: Added more

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    • #3
      She got upset because you WEREN'T staring? I think Kittykat has it right - this lady was already on the defensive, and when you didn't meet her stereotype she kind of lost it.

      No, you weren't sucky here - I'd say the baby was (or is that suckling), and mom was tired of defending herself to others.
      I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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      • #4
        I wonder if your discomfort may have made her feel bad, which is why she got upset. You still didn't do anything wrong, but I'm really curious what the complaint was. That an employee averted her eyes and didn't gawk at someone breastfeeding?
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          I think Bainsidhe may be correct - this lady was made uncomfortable by the fact that YOU were uncomfortable. Which is a whole new level of "oversensitive" in my book.

          And I have no probs with breastfeeding moms either. Can't help wondering, though, if she couldn't have waited just a few more minutes. Then she wouldn't have to worry about any of that.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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          • #6
            The type of job you work in wasn't totally clear from your post, but I'm assuming since you were bagging that you work in a grocery store or department store. You mean she started nursing her baby while she was paying for her purchases? It's been a long time since my son was a baby, but there's no way I would have done something like that. If I was in the middle of my shopping and he got fussy, sure, but not at the checkout! It's not like he was going to be irritating the other customers for much longer, nor was he going to die of starvation before we got to the car.

            It sounds to me like she was trying to create an incident where she could pretend to be offended. Some women on the breastfeeding support newsgroups I was part of actually admitted to deliberately nursing in situations where they thought it might get a rise out of people. Of course, they usually claimed they were doing it to "raise awareness."

            Heh...newsgroups. That tells you how long it's been since I had an infant.

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            • #7
              Did you actually hear the conversation with the manager? Maybe she needed to bitch about the price of pickles or something. If you heard her complaining that you didn't make a fuss about her breastfeeding, sounds like she was just making a stink for the purpose of making a stink. Being slightly but silently uncomfortable is not really cause for complaint.
              Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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              • #8
                Gawking would have been rude.

                Making a point of not gawking: not rude.

                Admittedly, it could have been mistaken as 'pointedly ignoring' her as-a-person; but you can counter that with standard greetings and goodbyes.


                Anyway: from the sound of it, you were fine. Noone is required to look at any other human.
                Seshat's self-help guide:
                1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                • #9
                  I'm all for freedom when it comes to nursing in public, but discretion is still necessary. It does sound like maybe she was itching for a fight.

                  Not that you did anything wrong, but would it be outside of your comfort level to, instead of diverting your eyes, look straight into hers, only ignoring the fact that she exists below the neck? That just gives these types a little less ammo to get their nursing bras in a wad.
                  At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                  • #10
                    If anything, I'd say that intentionally looking the other way was MORE polite than looking or letting your eyes wander. Sounds like she was looking for a fight and you didn't give her one. So...uhm...Kudos!
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
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                    • #11
                      You did absolutely nothing wrong. It made you uncomfortable and you did the adult thing and just moved on. You didn't raise a stink, you were polite and you gave her the space to do what she needed to do. (Although I question her choice of being at the checkout for doing it.)

                      If she did raise a stink about your politeness, then she might have either been expecting to bitch or for you to coo over the baby and how good a mother she was to breastfeed over giving a bottle! Either way, it'd be attention seeking and she's using the baby to do it.

                      Am I the only one that wanted strangers to stay the heck away from me and my baby? Like growly level of "stay away?" Yes, I was polite when people cooed at the kids, but damn it, don't get NEAR THEM, BECAUSE I WILL RIP YOU ARM OFF!!! And don't go for the plug.. it keeps the screams in and my 18 month old is already an air-raid siren in training!
                      If I make no sense, I apologize. I'm constantly interrupted by an actual toddler.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth raudf View Post

                        Am I the only one that wanted strangers to stay the heck away from me and my baby? Like growly level of "stay away?" Yes, I was polite when people cooed at the kids, but damn it, don't get NEAR THEM, BECAUSE I WILL RIP YOU ARM OFF!!! And don't go for the plug.. it keeps the screams in and my 18 month old is already an air-raid siren in training!

                        I was the same way! I detested when some random stranger would put their hands on my kids' faces. I used to literally shield them with my arm and not so politely say "Please don't touch his/her face, germs are everywhere and I'd rather he/she not be that exposed."

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                        • #13
                          Maybe she was angry that you weren't taking a good look at her *obviously beautiful* bare breast. /sarcasm
                          "She didn't observe the cardinal rule: Don't F**K with people who handle your food"
                          -Ryan Reynolds in 'Waiting'

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                          • #14
                            I don't think you did anything wrong. I'd be really interested to hear exactly what she said to the manager.
                            "Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil." - Irv

                            "This is all strange, uncharted territory and your hamster only has three legs." - Gravekeeper

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                            • #15
                              The fact that she did it at the checkout makes me wonder if she did that deliberately, to try and 'bait' you or the cashier (or both) into saying something so that she could turn around and argue with you. When that didn't work she made a stink about you not looking, which is really pathetic. Some people like nothing more than getting service workers into trouble.

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