I need to live in a retirement complex.

[Food Lady]

I’m really not sure what to do at this point. We have decent people here, but the problem children seem to end up on my end of the building. I’m pretty sure each unit around me has had at least 5 tenants since I’ve been here and while the problems aren’t always in the same unit every time, they switch off. I really do like my apartment so much--the layout and features and decor and the view--but I wonder if a more expensive complex would eliminate some of this. Maybe not; we’re the drunkest town in the nation. Anyway--


I’ve posted many times about Blondie on the bottom end apartment. She’s old and maybe retired or on welfare or something. She seems focused on me, even coming out to stand a foot and a half away from me reacting to my phone conversation with someone else while I’m getting my mail, and saying things about my comings and goings to no one in particular, but where I can hear them. I have to look for her on her porch as I leave or come home so I can literally run up or down the stairs to avoid the weirdness.


The people next to me, well, I have seen two kids and at least 4 adults go in and out. It’s a 2-bedroom. I don’t know who lives there. I can tell you because the kids are boy and girl and too old, they absolutely by law can’t share a bedroom. When they come home or leave it often sounds like they are having a fight in the hall closet. And they bang my door or theirs; I can’t tell. At least they’re quiet most of the time.


And now to the main culprits: it appears 3 kids (early 20s) live below me, in a one-bedroom. OK, not legal; what’s going on there? Friday night they were playing around super-loudly until 2:00 am and finally I couldn’t stand it anymore so I called in a noise disturbance. The officer called me when he got to the complex and said he couldn’t hear anything anywhere from the building. Yeah, they seemed to quiet down right before he got there, like when your car makes a funny noise until you get to the car repair place and then it’s fine.
Then last night it was blissfully quiet and I wanted to go to bed at 9:00 but I just knew what was coming at 1:00 or so, so I went to the store. I got back and stayed up, which is my choice to do. However, that doesn’t mean it’s ok for people to come home after midnight and come up the walk past people’s bedroom windows talking loud enough for people on the next block to hear. That’s exactly what they did. If I’d gone to bed and had been woken up I would’ve had a night terror (panic attack in my sleep). That’s what happens to me. I bypassed the call to the authorities to open my front door and yell out "It's ONE THIRTY AM, little bit loud for 1:30 in the morning!" Yeah, they shut up but it’s gonna be awkward now. And honestly I don’t have time to keep calling or writing the apt. manager because I have two jobs and work 7 days. If these people are old enough to be in college and rent, they are old enough to not act like teenagers.


If they were to move out someone else in another apartment would start this stuff up. It’s been happening for 8 years. I thought about a duplex, but I’d still be sharing a wall with someone. I don’t see any ads for houses for rent currently. *sigh* I guess all I can do is keep complaining. I’m sick of being that person.

[bainsidhe]

It sucks, but it sounds like you need to move. This isn't just a random neighbor causing you grief (like Blondie), but a continuing theme of annoyance. So you can continue being annoyed and losing sleep, or you can try finding another place that better suits your lifestyle. Moving is always expensive, so that certainly sucks.

[notalwaysright]

No, not a retirement complex. From what I've seen by visiting people in those places, the gossip and nosiness is out of control. I'm serious, one place had a little group that sat by the elevators and noted everyone's activities in order to gossip and make snide comments to that person later. A complex with a more active (read: strict) property manager might help. I've lived in a big complex that had lots of kids, but it got dead silent at night, because it had a 9:00 PM "quiet" rule that was apparently enforced.

I keep an eagle eye on Craigslist, even though I'm not going to be moving for a while, just to keep up with things. Not just prices, but which places have very high turnovers, which places increase the rent each time they re-list, etc. Of course, the rental market in my town is grim. We're basically full, and landlords are off quietly rubbing their hands together and twirling their mustaches. A friend of mine says that before she decides to move into a complex, she drives through the parking lot at night, and another time that I forget. To see how full it gets when everyone's at home, to hear if there's loud music, stuff like that.

[WishfulSpirit]

Our bedroom is literally 5 feet from one of the doors into our complex, and during the warmer months, people do like to congregate there and talk. We've pulled aside the blinds and reminded other tenants that people are in here and can hear them, and that seems to work, but I'd also like to suggest Sleep Phones. They are flat headphones in a soft, comfortable headband that is very comfy to sleep in. You can even wear them over earplugs to screen out just about everything. Put on some soft music or ocean sounds and it might help block out any sounds that could cause a night terror. I have some I got for Christmas last year and they work even on Hubby's snoring.

[Slave to the Phone]

Of course I know nothing about your area, but have you considered a trailer? While there are disadvantages to living in one, you wouldn't be sharing a wall with anyone. The first home we owned was a singlewide trailer. It wasn't big, but it was in the middle of a fenced yard that we also owned. This was only doable because we had cars and were willing to drive at least 45 minutes to get to town, but it was much better for us than living in any short of shared housing.

[Pixelated]

No, not a retirement complex. From what I've seen by visiting people in those places, the gossip and nosiness is out of control.

Last apartment I lived in, the tenant next door was a hard-drinking LOUD-MUSIC PLAYING idiot. I mean music levels that rattled the windows, at all hours of the day and night. The superintendent said not to call him after 9 p.m., "Call the police." But the police told me to call the super. Neither he nor the owner could get their peckers up to do anything about this. (No, I tell a lie: they did call the cops one night ... when the noise level was so bad you could hear it in the parking lot. Which was five floors down.)

After that I think I'd prefer gossip and nosiness ... I could always get right bitchy in return. Admittedly, I can imagine it would get on your nerves after you'd been there a while.

Your friend has a good idea. Any apartment building can seem like a pleasant, quiet place when nobody's home.

[Kristev]

I too must disagree with the idea that you'd find more peace in a retirement & disabled living building. The neighbors were constant problems at the one where I lived, both on my own and with my mother.

[AccountingDrone]

It sucks, but it sounds like you need to move. This isn't just a random neighbor causing you grief (like Blondie), but a continuing theme of annoyance. So you can continue being annoyed and losing sleep, or you can try finding another place that better suits your lifestyle. Moving is always expensive, so that certainly sucks.

Of course I know nothing about your area, but have you considered a trailer? While there are disadvantages to living in one, you wouldn't be sharing a wall with anyone. The first home we owned was a singlewide trailer. It wasn't big, but it was in the middle of a fenced yard that we also owned. This was only doable because we had cars and were willing to drive at least 45 minutes to get to town, but it was much better for us than living in any short of shared housing.

Have you ever considered renting a small [like 1 bedroom] house? Frequently they can be less expensive than other options [most people who want houses want 2-3-4 bedrooms, 1.5-2 bathrooms because they have a family. I found when I was a single in both the Rochester NY and Tidewater VA markets that the old 1920s 'bungalow cottage' type places tended to go fairly cheaply. You don't have to deal with asshole neighbors sharing walls/floors/ceilings, though you may have to deal with stuff like yardwork and shoveling driveways. About the only warnings I would have would be about environmenta; [don't tend to have forced air heat or central AC] and electrical use [they were designed back when people tended to only have a few electric lights, a radio and appliances tended to be gas not electric so you have to scope out the electrical system to see if it will take running both a coffee maker and a microwave at the same time as having the TV and a computer on ... ]

[protege]

No, not a retirement complex. From what I've seen by visiting people in those places, the gossip and nosiness is out of control.

Yep, a bunch of old people who have nothing to do...so they sit around and watch what everyone else is up to, and try to "enforce" bullshit rules

For example, I had one lady scream at me about how the dining room was closed when I tried to wheel my grandmother through there. Sure, the main part of the room had been blocked with chairs for a private party. But, because the aisle they'd made was too narrow, there wasn't any way I could get her chair through. I didn't think it was a big deal when I moved a chair, rolled Grandma into the "restricted area" put that chair back, moved the chair at the opposite end, and rolled her into the other part of the room. I mean, you'd have thought I'd shot someone by the way this woman was carrying on. Seriously lady, get a life.

No, I'd see if I could find a small house to rent, or even purchase outright. Depending on the area, you can sometimes find a 1 or 2-bedroom house for about the same as renting an apartment.

[Racket_Man]

Yep, a bunch of old people who have nothing to do...so they sit around and watch what everyone else is up to, and try to "enforce" bullshit rules

.

EVERY apartment complex I have ever lived in had the self-appointed "sheriff(s)" who would either call the cops or constantly complain to the on-site manager/office about "stuff".

[Food Lady]

EVERY apartment complex I have ever lived in had the self-appointed "sheriff(s)" who would either call the cops or constantly complain to the on-site manager/office about "stuff".

I'm sort of that person, but it has to be pretty rude and really late at night before I complain. So maybe not.

[Racket_Man]

I'm sort of that person, but it has to be pretty rude and really late at night before I complain. So maybe not.

You have a regular job and are at least gone for part of the day -- The "sheriff" in the last big complex I lived in was home all day long and had a chairs by the window with a complete set of drinks and snacks ready for action. Thank <pick your deity> that decent affordable digital cameras were not really that available 20 years ago.

I agree that if things get out of hand yes by all means call the cops or management but the above "sheriff" called about really stupid and petty stuff ALL THE TIME

[Pixelated]

It's not just retirement complexes. The last apartment building I lived in had a special indoor storage area for tenants' bicycles. I asked if I could put mine in there. Nope, no room left.

Yet when I wheeled it into the lobby and up to my apartment, I'd get the "self-appointed sheriffs" telling me I couldn't take a bicycle into my apartment.

Best thing to do, if you can, is just ignore them.

[Food Lady]

^ What were you supposed to do, throw it in the dumpster??

[notalwaysright]

This morning when I went to leave I found that a neighbor had written "69" in the snow on my car. We're super mature here. >_>

Speaking of the apartment sheriff, I felt like one when I move last time. So the last place I lived was a triplex, and my unit shared a wall with the laundry room. The people in the far unit apparently did laundry every single day, at 6:00 AM. I'm not sure if I can describe it, but it sounded like one of them entered the room, then threw him or herself at the walls and floor for a while. It woke me up, and my bedroom was across the hall, on the other side of TWO WALLS. Waking me up on a day I can sleep in puts me in full on rage mode. I did not wait very long before complaining to the landlords. They were nice, and introduced laundry room hours. I felt like a Grinch until I talked to the tenant in the middle, and he thanked me. He said the landlords just thought he was a cranky old man, even though he complained about the same exact thing.