"Do you know how many degrees I have?!"

[Kisa]

Superior Being calls fuming about how Lowly Trucker refused to pick up her freight.
Call Center Girl asked if LT gave a reason for not picking up her freight.
SB: He claimed he isn't allowed to sign for pieces.
CCG: Yes mam, that's true. Our drivers can only sign for pallets.

BG: We only allow our drivers to sign for pieces because we require all freight to be on tightly shinkwrapped pallets. We won't remove the shrinkwrap, so the document the driver signs MUST have a pallet count. SB only had a piece count with NO pallet count, so the driver refused the freight. She could have easily added a pallet count so the driver could sign but, being the superior bering she is, decided she was right and the driver can only take her freight if he signs for the pieces. The driver, valuing his job over SB's gentle ego, left.

SB: Well then we have a problem here, because I NEVER have a pallet count and I NEVER had a problem with this before. My USUAL driver ALWAYS signs for pieces. I suggest you fire this new driver. He's TERRIBLE!
CCG: Mam, would you happen to have the name of your usual driver?
SB: No. I'm not such a prude that I have to ask the name of every driver that I meet.
CCG: I understand mam, I was asking if, by chance, you did know his name because he broke the rules on multiple occasions. That is grounds for termination.
SB: HE NEVER BROKE THE RULES! YOU changed the rules just now to screw with me!
CCG: Mam, I'm only a receptionist. I don't have the power to change the rules.
SB: Well you better change it back. I can sue you into bankrupcy if you don't sign for pieces. It's the law, and you know it!
CCG: Mam, I'm not a lawyer, but I assume the company researched the laws before putting this rule into place.
SB: Well tell them to do MORE research! I can't believe you changed the rules with no warning!
CCG: Mam, I've worked here for 5 years, and we have never accepted pieces during those 5 years. We may have accepted piece counts in the past, but that would have to have been over 5 years ago.
SB: Do you know how many degrees I have?
CCG: No, mam.
SB: More than you could ever hope to have! I have a law degree, a business degree, (yadayadayada)
CCG: That's very nice mam, but can we please get back to business?
SB: I WILL SUE YOUR ASS!
CCG: Pardon?
SB: I will sue your ass unless you get that driver back here right now and make his sign for my pieces!
CCG: Mam, we only accept shrinkwrapped pallets. It's unlikely that a box will wiggle out of the shrinkwrap, so we only accept pallet counts.
SB: So I can sue you if one of my boxes goes missing?
CCG: Your boxes won't go missing, because the boxes have to be TIGHTLY SHRINKWRAPPED onto a wooden pallet.
SB continues to argue and threaten to sue CCG while talking over her for 15 minutes. CCG pretends to call the terminal manager, comes back on the line, and informs SB that LT can't come back until tomarrow. She put extreme emphasis on the fact that LT can only come back "if the paperwork is corrected".
SB: So if he doen't pick it up, I can sue you?
CCG: No mam. If the paperwork is corrected and he doesn't pick it up, you can call back here and we will deal with the situation.
SB argues more and talkes over CCG more, cutting her off constantly.
CCG: Is there anything else mam?
SB: He was rude to me. Fire him.
CCG: How was he rude to you?
SB: He was rude. Fire him.
CCG: I will be sure to bring that to my managers attention. She will deal with the situation. (Translate: You are a liar and I will never mention that to my manager. I will, however, mention how rude YOU were to ME.)
SB argues more and eventually hangs up after a 23 minute call!!!

Bonus:
Guy calls complaining that the terminal mislead him. Apparently, he biked 3 miles to pick up his freight from the terminal to save a few bucks. He RODE HIS BICYCLE to the terminal to pick up 300LBS OF FREIGHT!
Why? He assumed the terminal would lend him a truck, free of charge, so he could toss his bike in back and drive home. CCG explained that, no, we don't lend trucks for free and that "WILL CALL" means "you come to our terminal with your own vehicle to get your own stuff.

[sirwired]

Mr. Bicycle must have been one of Irv's customers that escaped. I'll bet he tries to buy furniture that way too...

[Geek King]

It never ceases to amaze me how some of the supposedly smartest people have no damn common sense.

[BrenDAnn]

sirwired, thank you for the mental image of Irv near killing a guy on a bicycle wanting to pick up an entertainment stand or dining set or something. Of course, you're probably not far off. As to Degree Wench in the first story, I smell a big fat liar. Either that, or they're all the lowest level degree one can get in certain fields, because she kept changing her mind what she wanted to do. I suspect she's a liar, though, and a stupid one with zero common sense at that.

[Crossbow]

SB: Do you know how many degrees I have?

Um, 98.6 and rising fast?

Too bad you can't send them over to your legal department as soon as they bring up the "S" word.

[lvceline]

Wow! That lady sounds like a real peach! Isn't it so ridiculous that people threaten to sue so much these days? It's just crazy. When I talk to people who act like that, and then say our employee was rude to them, it makes it a little hard to believe doesn't it? And who cares about how many degrees she has. Something her precious degrees obviously can't give her are CLASS and RESPECT.

[barainga]

SB: Do you know how many degrees I have?

No idea, has hell frozen over? Cause thats when your tantrum is gonna help you.

[NateTheChops]

The legal experts are always so vocal when they think that mentioning such will get them special treatment. Whenever anyone drops a threat to sue I clam up and tell them that I can't say anymore since it could be used against me.

[Mytical]

"No I do not know how many degrees you have, what I do have is a meat thermometer..shall I see how many degrees you have?"

http://www.globeequipment.com/Kitche...meters/2238-06

[PepperElf]

of course he was "rude" - he told her "no"

sounds like she was quite the EW

[Marmalady]

SB: Do you know how many degrees I have?

CCG: Three? *bursts into impromptu rendition of 'When Will I See You Again?' *

[Argabarga]

Bonus:
Guy calls complaining that the terminal mislead him. Apparently, he biked 3 miles to pick up his freight from the terminal to save a few bucks. He RODE HIS BICYCLE to the terminal to pick up 300LBS OF FREIGHT!
Why? He assumed the terminal would lend him a truck, free of charge, so he could toss his bike in back and drive home. CCG explained that, no, we don't lend trucks for free and that "WILL CALL" means "you come to our terminal with your own vehicle to get your own stuff.

Memory jog...

Reminds me of a guy who wrecked his car and had it towed to us. He was from out of state, so he went home and arranged for a truck to come by and pick it up. Now, when I say "wrecked" I mean wrecked hard, the entire left front of the car was pretty much destroyed, it was bent up badly enough that the wheel and tire on that side no longer touched the ground, in other words, the car wouldn't sit level on the ground and could not be rolled. It could be drug around with the tow truck, but otherwise wasn't movable.

Well, he neglected to tell the driver of the transport truck this, who was driving a regular car-carrying flatbed, not a wrecker, so when he arrived and took one look at it, he said he couldn't take it like that because there was obviously no way to get it onto his trailer, which was meant for the loading and unloading of running vehicles only.

So he called up the customer and told him there's no way he can get it on the trailer, customer asked to talk to me and asked why we couldn't just "use the forklift" to put it on.

"What forklift?" I asked

There was a long pause

"Come on! You can't just use a forklift to get it on the truck?" he asked

"I don't have any equipment like that, Sir"

There was another long pause

"You DON'T HAVE a forklift?!"

No, we don't, I dont' know of any TOWING company that has one. He seemed to have us confused with a junkyard. In fact, a lot of people do, I get lots of requests from people who want to know if we sell parts from scrapped cars... no, we don't do that either.

[brucetiki]

Was one of SB's degrees a Bachelor of Arts (major: Wanker)

[sirwired]

The legal experts are always so vocal when they think that mentioning such will get them special treatment. Whenever anyone drops a threat to sue I clam up and tell them that I can't say anymore since it could be used against me.

And of course, any actual legal expert should already know that at the mention of the words: lawyer, law, statute, regulation, lawsuit, suit, court, sue, etc. the only prudent action for any employee (who is not in the legal department) is to shut up like a clam, admit nothing, and offer NO further concessions.

Anyone that claims to be a lawyer when complaining about something either isn't one, or is so bad at it they can almost certainly be safely ignored.

I believe it is the former in this case: What would a practicing lawyer be doing shipping pallets of packages?

[NorthernZel]

And of course, any actual legal expert should already know that at the mention of the words: lawyer, law, statute, regulation, lawsuit, suit, court, sue, etc. the only prudent action for any employee (who is not in the legal department) is to shut up like a clam, admit nothing, and offer NO further concessions.

Yup. Though we weren't threatened with lawsuits that often, every time I received a mail from a client stating something like "blargle, I'm a very important person and you will do what I tell you, or ELSE!" I always replied with a sweet but short answer:

"Your mail has been forwarded to my Supervisor/DM/CFO/CEO."

Now, much could be said about my former bosses, but one thing I knew: They don't tolerate BS. From ANYONE.

And yes, most of the time the bosses were kind enough to cc me on the epic pwnage that was thrown on the EW's