So I've written on here many many times that I did craft shows with my mom and she's psychotic. She would attack, insult and belittle me constantly during a show, any helpful suggestion I had would be shot down, any purchase I wanted to suggest to make our set/tear down go faster/smoother was stupid or a waste of money.
I loved doing shows because I get tons of compliments on my work, but I also hated them because I was brainwashed into thinking that I *couldn't* do it on my own. Mom was the "expert", so I was forced to put up with it.
Up until maybe 9 years ago, we only did Really Big Craft Show in October. Then Mom wanted to expand, and we started doing more and more shows, until we had one almost every weekend from Halloween until Christmas. It was hard work, emotionally and physically. I made a little money, but mainly I was there to be Mom's punching bag.
In 2016, I told mom that I was only going to do Really Big Craft Show from now on, because I really wasn't making money at the other shows. (She had a lot of stupid "rules" like I always had to buy a double booth, and I had to bring every quilt I had available to every show, and she had to be the one to design the booth and handle the money because I was "too stupid" to handle it.) It was a lie, but one that made sense from her point of view. That year at Really Big Craft Show, she got in my face and yelled at me because I refused to argue with her about the booth setup.
By 2017's Really Big Craft Show, she had realized that I was doing shows alone, and it pissed her off. Not only did she micromanage the booth setup to the Nth degree, (and I didn't react, just said "Yes ma'am" and did the changes she asked for.) but on Friday morning, the first day of the show, she got in my face and mock pleaded (there were crocodile tears and everything!) about why I don't want to do shows with her and I need to just tell her the truth.
"This, Mom. This is why." I did end up crying, and I noticed not five minutes later Mom was suspiciously in a happy mood. It turned my stomach. It was like a switch flipped on and I realized that she enjoys making me cry. Over the rest of the weekend, she threatened to kick me out of "her" booth. It is in her name, so she could do that. She also forced me to apologize to her for being mean and hateful to her, however I still wouldn't invite her to my solo shows. She also mentioned about doing the February version of Really Big Craft Show and said she had another friend she'd rather have in the booth instead of me. (Childish much?) I told her to go ahead.
When I got home I went ahead and filled out an application/jury form to do Really Big Craft Show on my own. I figured at least I'd be on the waiting list and there'd be an end in sight to dealing with Mom. Surprise, I got in right away! I told my aunt that I had applied and asked her if she'd be interested in helping me man the booth.
Mom had no clue until she texted me asking to borrow my gridwall for February's Really Big Craft Show. I told her no for 2 reasons; 1 is that she never returns things she borrows from me and it's my gridwall, I bought it, dammit. 2 is because my aunt and I were going to be vendors at the February Really Big Craft Show!
As it turns out, we were in the same building, thankfully at opposite ends. Mom's "friend" is hard of hearing and has zero customer service skills. We walked down one morning to check out the booth and it was awful. That same 25 year old rotting lattice with sheets pinned to it, booth crammed full of random crap. Ours looked so much more professional. I wanted to sneak a photo, but honestly we were swamped during the show and exhausted afterwards. Mom kept coming to "visit" us and complain about her friend in the booth with her, how she was a loser and had no clue what she was doing. My aunt and I kept telling her that she should go back to her booth then. It was almost comical, like a bad breakup and they just keep coming by to beg you to come back. Felt good man.
When the October show came around, we were in different buildings. Mom parked her truck by my car during setup, trying to "accidentally" bump into me. It didn't work. She texted me on Friday asking if I was having a lot of sales. I waited until the end of the show to respond. "Yeah super busy, sorry just saw this."
Because we were no longer doing shows together, Mom got a job in the fabric department of one of the stores where I purchase potholder fabrics. Right by my house. I tried to be cordial the few times I saw her, but after the October show and in public in front of her coworkers and other customers she told me that I was a bad mother because my son needed a math tutor. At that point I was done. I started shopping at another store and I stopped responding to her texts.
By the time the February show rolled around again, she was pissed. I knew she'd want to come talk to me, so I practiced what I wanted to say beforehand. I knew not to say "I'm sorry" because that's an admission of guilt and I've done nothing wrong. I also couldn't show any emotions. So once again, we were in the same building, opposite ends. I ran into her and her friend while I was on my way to the craft services room.
Mom: "Hi honey."
Me:"Hey."
Mom: "So you don't want me in your life anymore?"
Me: "I choose not to be around negative people."
Mom: "I don't feel like I'm negative."
Me: *shrug*
Mom: "You'll let me know when you want to have a relationship again?"
Me: "Sure." And then I walked off. I didn't cry until I got back to the booth and told my aunt what had happened. She was proud of me for holding it together.
So yeah, that's how I dumped my mom.
I loved doing shows because I get tons of compliments on my work, but I also hated them because I was brainwashed into thinking that I *couldn't* do it on my own. Mom was the "expert", so I was forced to put up with it.
Up until maybe 9 years ago, we only did Really Big Craft Show in October. Then Mom wanted to expand, and we started doing more and more shows, until we had one almost every weekend from Halloween until Christmas. It was hard work, emotionally and physically. I made a little money, but mainly I was there to be Mom's punching bag.
In 2016, I told mom that I was only going to do Really Big Craft Show from now on, because I really wasn't making money at the other shows. (She had a lot of stupid "rules" like I always had to buy a double booth, and I had to bring every quilt I had available to every show, and she had to be the one to design the booth and handle the money because I was "too stupid" to handle it.) It was a lie, but one that made sense from her point of view. That year at Really Big Craft Show, she got in my face and yelled at me because I refused to argue with her about the booth setup.
By 2017's Really Big Craft Show, she had realized that I was doing shows alone, and it pissed her off. Not only did she micromanage the booth setup to the Nth degree, (and I didn't react, just said "Yes ma'am" and did the changes she asked for.) but on Friday morning, the first day of the show, she got in my face and mock pleaded (there were crocodile tears and everything!) about why I don't want to do shows with her and I need to just tell her the truth.
"This, Mom. This is why." I did end up crying, and I noticed not five minutes later Mom was suspiciously in a happy mood. It turned my stomach. It was like a switch flipped on and I realized that she enjoys making me cry. Over the rest of the weekend, she threatened to kick me out of "her" booth. It is in her name, so she could do that. She also forced me to apologize to her for being mean and hateful to her, however I still wouldn't invite her to my solo shows. She also mentioned about doing the February version of Really Big Craft Show and said she had another friend she'd rather have in the booth instead of me. (Childish much?) I told her to go ahead.
When I got home I went ahead and filled out an application/jury form to do Really Big Craft Show on my own. I figured at least I'd be on the waiting list and there'd be an end in sight to dealing with Mom. Surprise, I got in right away! I told my aunt that I had applied and asked her if she'd be interested in helping me man the booth.
Mom had no clue until she texted me asking to borrow my gridwall for February's Really Big Craft Show. I told her no for 2 reasons; 1 is that she never returns things she borrows from me and it's my gridwall, I bought it, dammit. 2 is because my aunt and I were going to be vendors at the February Really Big Craft Show!
As it turns out, we were in the same building, thankfully at opposite ends. Mom's "friend" is hard of hearing and has zero customer service skills. We walked down one morning to check out the booth and it was awful. That same 25 year old rotting lattice with sheets pinned to it, booth crammed full of random crap. Ours looked so much more professional. I wanted to sneak a photo, but honestly we were swamped during the show and exhausted afterwards. Mom kept coming to "visit" us and complain about her friend in the booth with her, how she was a loser and had no clue what she was doing. My aunt and I kept telling her that she should go back to her booth then. It was almost comical, like a bad breakup and they just keep coming by to beg you to come back. Felt good man.
When the October show came around, we were in different buildings. Mom parked her truck by my car during setup, trying to "accidentally" bump into me. It didn't work. She texted me on Friday asking if I was having a lot of sales. I waited until the end of the show to respond. "Yeah super busy, sorry just saw this."
Because we were no longer doing shows together, Mom got a job in the fabric department of one of the stores where I purchase potholder fabrics. Right by my house. I tried to be cordial the few times I saw her, but after the October show and in public in front of her coworkers and other customers she told me that I was a bad mother because my son needed a math tutor. At that point I was done. I started shopping at another store and I stopped responding to her texts.
By the time the February show rolled around again, she was pissed. I knew she'd want to come talk to me, so I practiced what I wanted to say beforehand. I knew not to say "I'm sorry" because that's an admission of guilt and I've done nothing wrong. I also couldn't show any emotions. So once again, we were in the same building, opposite ends. I ran into her and her friend while I was on my way to the craft services room.
Mom: "Hi honey."
Me:"Hey."
Mom: "So you don't want me in your life anymore?"
Me: "I choose not to be around negative people."
Mom: "I don't feel like I'm negative."
Me: *shrug*
Mom: "You'll let me know when you want to have a relationship again?"
Me: "Sure." And then I walked off. I didn't cry until I got back to the booth and told my aunt what had happened. She was proud of me for holding it together.
So yeah, that's how I dumped my mom.
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