My friend is a SC!

[Jbball]

My dad is notorious for tipping badly, 10% is normal, even for phenomenal service.

Story goes (race has to be mentioned):

It was my 15-16th birthday and he took me out to Papadaeux (seafood place in Texas, they have the greatest dish ever - shrimp broschette). We're seated and our waitress is a nice black woman who knows her shit. The restaurant is half filled, but not busy at all. We order our food, but before we get it, a party is sat right next to us. When they finally filled out the table, there was aroun 20 black customers. Well, being the racist my father is, started mumbling under his breathe (things I cannot repeat here).

I suppose the place was short staffed for the day, because our waitress was pulled to help the party, but was still helping us. We were probably there a total of thirty minutes, had WONDERFUL service, great food and a timely check. The total ended up being something around $64 and some change and that's when my father pulled the asshole move of the century. He paid by cash and put $65.00 into the check book thing. Well, me being 15-16, I didn't have money to throw into the pot, so I was wisked away by him before she could get back to the table to get the bill.

I mean, really, wtf! Who tips like $.50 on a $65 bill?!?! This is one reason why I hate going to dinners with him now, even if it's only like once a year, maybe (that's all I ever see him anyways). He lives in Maine now, me in Texas, so our get togethers aren't frequent. My sister and I still throw an extra $5 or so to all bills he gets, as he will never tip above 10%, EVER!

[gunsage]

Now, I never said anything about bars. Here's my view of bars. Often, I do NOT tip. There are a variety of reasons for this. For one, I rarely go to bars anymore anyway. And really, it's not strictly because I'm married, but more because I don't have anyone to go with...so indirectly, yes, it's because I'm married, but also because the bulk of my friends have moved away.

In any case, I don't have a "regular" joint or whatever. Therefore, I also don't have a regular bartender. Now, I suppose if I went out regularly or something, it'd be different, but often all I'm doing is going with my wife to play pool. I'll get a few beers, but often she either doesn't drink (not a beer drinker) or she'll get ONE Smirnoff. In any case, we're not asking you to do anything fancy...just a few bottles. That doesn't deserve a tip unless we're simply obnoxious, then I might leave you a tip for putting up with me, but then again, especially since we DRIVE there and back, that's not likely to happen, so no dice, Skippy.

When we were actively barhopping with her sister and boyfriend-of-the-month, yeah, then we tipped, but it often wasn't much. And really, I don't know what the protocol is for that anyway. Anybody? What's the standard spiel for bar tips?

[marty]

I tip my bartender, mostly because I feel bad that they have to deal with some of the more unsavory drunks throughout the night, and partially because they are serving me. I've also had a roomate bartender before, it is hard work to do (he came home exhausted at the end of the night, but that was a busy bar). But I tip everyone if I get good service. And that's why I'm poor.

I had a friend one time tell me not to tip my pizza delivery guy because, "Oh, the tip is included in the price!" She said this in front of him. I almost slapped her and gave the guy five bucks regardless.

[rerant]

In any case, we're not asking you to do anything fancy...just a few bottles.

That's how I see it.
I mean on the one hand I feel sort of bad because I know the minimum wage for servers is only like $6.85 here, but I mean honestly, if all I'm ordering is a pint of Guinness I fail to see how you pulling the tap is worth an extra $1 or more, on top of the already ridiculously increased price of the drink itself.
Naturally the drink prices have nothing to do with staff, and it's not as though they get a percentage of the markup, but I'm sure someone sees my point here.

One instance where I did not tip (it wasn't my regular bar) I ordered a pint of Guinness, only to be told that they didn't have any on tap and only had cans.
I cringed on the inside but reluctantly accepted, since I really wanted my meal... err drink.
The bartender handed me a glass, then handed me an opened can. I didn't tip (it was an $8 drink to begin with) and she looked at me like I had 12 breasts.
Lady, all you did was turn around, open a fridge and hand me the items, and you think this is worth more money?
Please.

Don't get me wrong, I do sympathise with bar staff and know they don't make the same minimum wage as others (aside from my regular bar, who only get anything out of me so I can get the fastest service -ie. if there's a whole line once I approach the bar I'm considered next in line- since the place is always rammed), but when someone is only popping the top off my beer I find it hard to justify a tip for them.
Sorry, bar staff.

[Emrld]

When I split a bill . . .I make sure that my tip is not known by others at the table.
Luckily anymore I have some great friends that most have been or are close to people who have worked in the industry here in USA so we all know the drill.

I agree what A did was wrong. Sorry that her experience was bad . . .and she chose not to tip. That is her choice. However to tell someone else at the table to not tip. Let alone not speak up to you at the time, that is where A was wrong.
So in the future make sure you tab is seperate from A (unless you are getting the entire tab) If you don't have a money envelope to put the tip in . . . make sure you have post-it's and a writing instrument with you. Make a note that say's - "Thank's for the great service." or "Sorry the kitchen isn't as with it as you" and sign it.

It will mean something to the server

[Peppergirl]

I'm so glad that everyone I go out to eat with tips well. I'd be mortified if they didn't.

[Emrld]

Peppergirl . . .note Rerant is located in Toranto per the information provided in the upper right corner . . . .
Different than the system here in the USA -

Also, the OP stated this isn't questioning to tip or not . . .but was it sucky that the friend chose not to tip, told someone else to not tip, and said well hey you covered for all of anyway . . .when OP was hoping it would seem like a nice tip vs averge to less than average.

[Sylvia727]

Peppergirl, no offense taken

[Flood]

My tipping has always been a bit extreme both ways, I suppose.

If at any point during the meal it felt like I was arguing with the waitress, I'll just pocket my change and leave nothing. If they were only half-civil and basically blew us off doing only the bare minimum, I'd maybe leave a handful of change on the table. Some of my friends will cross the line into SCville and actually leave tips, but hide them amongst the dirty napkins and dishes if they didn't like our server.

But if the service is good, the tips get bigger.

There's about three or four places in Oklahoma City where you can get Pho, and me and my friend Silky were trying out all of them (over the course of a couple weeks), until we found one we really liked. The atmosphere was great, the waitress was friendly, and the medium bowl was as big as my sink. After paying the bill, I left $5 on the table without thinking. Silky looked at me and said "You realize the bill was only $5.12, right? You just left a nearly 100% tip."

I thought about it for a second and said "Well, we came in here expecting to spend about $10 each for less Pho. I'm not going to punish them for only charging half what I'm willing to give."

He looked at me and said, "Plus the girl who brought it out was pretty hot." and put another $5 on the table.

Or when I was in the Air Force and we'd order 5-6 pizzas for our weekend overnight D&D/Orpheus sessions. We'd tip 50% if they were on time. You had to take into account that to get there, they had to get past armed guards climb three flights of stairs carrying 5-6 pizzas.

Or back in California when I was part of a Vampire LARP that got together every other weekend. Our post-game get together took up half the Denny's in an otherwise mostly dead time of night (pardon the pun). We realized that we could get a bit sucky, what with us being 30-45 people in various costumes (ranging from drama-queen goth, to full on business suit, to homeless bum, to conservative kindergarten teacher), many of which moved from table to table throughout the night. In order to keep from being barred from coming back or just giving larpers a bad name, we were extremely polite and apologetic and friendly and left rather large tips. Once, one guy started to get in an argument with our regular waiter, but the Storyteller pulled him aside, talked very sternly with him, docked him XP, and made him go back and apologize.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That's how I see it.
I mean on the one hand I feel sort of bad because I know the minimum wage for servers is only like $6.85 here..(

Where do you live where servers get that kind of money? Here, it's something like 2 bucks and some small change. It was 2.13 when I waited tables.

Servers do not make minimum wage. They make a SERVERS'S minimum wage, usually around 2 or 3 bucks per hour. If their tips come out to less than 10% of total food sold, the server ends up getting taxed on money they don't make. The establishment legally is supposed to cover this difference, but usually they don't. Most servers don't even know about that law, and if they did, I imagine their boss would likely find a reason to fire them. Knowledge is dangerous, you know.

And really, what's wrong with being generous to someone who took care of you? At that point, it's not even about what's owed or not, it's about karma.

[PepperElf]

... one of the things i liked about a former co-worker of mine... she believed in over-tipping.

and once, when my bf & i were are a really *NICE* place for dinner... my tipping instict was a little off (low) cos of the math, but he set me straight before i wrote anything down, and i ... dont remember if i did 18% or 20, but something between at least.

[Geek King]

Once, one guy started to get in an argument with our regular waiter, but the Storyteller pulled him aside, talked very sternly with him, docked him XP, and made him go back and apologize.

That's great! It brings to mind the DM for a fairly hardcore AD&D (1st ed.) game who offered 2000 XP to anyone who whould help him move. XP can move the world sometimes.

[Sableonblonde]

I always overtip, and I think it's mostly a selfish thing, just because I like the feeling I get from doing so. My good friend works as a delivery driver, so HE depends on tips, yet he is one of the cheapest bastards I know. He rarely leaves a tip and if he does, it's small. It really pisses me off because his excuse is that he doesn't have the money to spare. Well, if you're too broke to tip then you're too broke to go out, is how I look at it. He has pulled the same thing where he sees my half of the tip and figures that is good enough, he doesn't have to put anything in.

I usually tip about 30% in restaurants and when at a bar I always tip a dollar per drink. I too think it's ridiculous to tip somebody for just opening a beer, but tipping puts you on the bartenders good side and I just prefer to be on people's good sides.

I went out to dinner a few nights ago and for the first time ever had what I actually consider bad service. We sat for a good five minutes before anyone approached our table, and I still don't know if it was my imagination or not, but it seemed like our server was mocking us. But yet we DID eventually get our drinks and food, so even though the waiter wasn't doing a great job, he was still doing his job, so I still tipped 20% or so. I've never had a job where I worked for tips, but I have had a lot of days where I did a really crappy job (I am not cut out for customer service, I had to admit to myself) and I still go my paycheck, so.

[Peppergirl]

I always overtip, and I think it's mostly a selfish thing, just because I like the feeling I get from doing so. My good friend works as a delivery driver, so HE depends on tips, yet he is one of the cheapest bastards I know. He rarely leaves a tip and if he does, it's small. It really pisses me off because his excuse is that he doesn't have the money to spare. Well, if you're too broke to tip then you're too broke to go out, is how I look at it. He has pulled the same thing where he sees my half of the tip and figures that is good enough, he doesn't have to put anything in.

Wow! I think the only thing worse than a cheap, non-tipping bastard is a cheap non-tipping bastard who relies on tips!!!

He is seriously racking up some really bad karma points. I think I'd definitely stop going out to eat with him, at the very least.

[Igorina]

The other night, my boyfriend and I went out to Blue Orleans in Chattanooga, TN. They didn't have hours posted, the sign said "Closed', but there were stil a number of people in there.

We went in, asked the hostess if they were in fact closed (the 'Closed' sign was on string and flew about when you would open the door).

The hostess said that they were closed, but they would serve us. We double checked to make sure this was okay, we would have felt aweful for delaying their departure, but the hostess insisted they could serve us.

Our waitress told us what was out of stock, we ordered, the food and service was fabulous. The bill was about $30, so we left a $15 tip.

After the waitress took the payment, but before we left, she came back to say thank you for the tip. I fear my boyfriend and I confused her with our generosity, but the food, the service, and the staying-open-after-you're-closed was worth it.