Never wanted a burger so badly in my life.

[MadMike]

I hate food thieves with a passion. I've had several sodas, a couple of candy bars, and even a few lunches stolen from the fridge on our floor. As for the sodas being stolen, I solved that little problem by shaking the hell out of the can before I put it in there. That one was also stolen, and then it never happened again after that. I only wish I could have seen what happened when the bastard opened it.

I do know of one time where someone got bit in the ass by stealing from the fridge. A company-wide email was sent out about how something was taken from the fridge. The owner was "worried about whoever took it", because it "looked like chocolate milk but really wasn't." It was some sort of medicinal drink that could have all kinds of nasty side effects. I'm not sure if it was true, or if someone was trying to screw with the thief, but I hope the thief got a good scare.

[rose_metal_nz]

That's seriously messed up I hope they were allergic or got really bad indigestion or something

[Freak]

Track this person down and press charges. This has to be a crime. Surely.

Seriously, what sort of bizarre, messed-up person even considers taking another person's food?

[Eevie]

What an asshole! That's so incredibly low and entitled that even I have a hard time believing it; something I didn't even think possible! Hope things get better for you...

[Athaelia]

So you got hit by the Hamburglar huh? That sucks. At my Old Job I didn't get breaks to eat so I'd bring those 'meal replacement' shakes and put 'em in the fridge so I can chug-and-go. Well, someone kept stealing them! So from then on I'd pop the top of the drink and put it in a bag..which had a note attached:

"DIABETES MEDICINE DISSOLVED IN DRINK...DRINK AT YOUR OWN PERIL"

Interestingly, the thievery ceased after that...

[Moosenogger]

I hate food thieves with a passion. I've had several sodas, a couple of candy bars, and even a few lunches stolen from the fridge on our floor. As for the sodas being stolen, I solved that little problem by shaking the hell out of the can before I put it in there. That one was also stolen, and then it never happened again after that. I only wish I could have seen what happened when the bastard opened it.

One fun troll-y thing to do is to hide a mentos in a soda bottle and set it back in the fridge. The moment someone opens it, the mentos volcano will erupt. (Here's a video!)

[HappyFun Ball]

Man, if someone had taken my noms, I would've murdered them slowly with a butter knife.

[Lovecats]

Personally, I'd murder them with a spoon.

Because it hurts more.

You people are vicious! I like it!

[dalesys]

Personally, I'd murder them with a spoon.

Can I reheat the spoon with a torch?

[Ezio]

Sadly, shit like this doesn't shock me at all anymore.

Some people are so "me, me,me" centered they don't care about those around them.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Personally, I'd murder them with a spoon.

Because it hurts more.

Use a spork. You can dig in a little more and it helps with the scooping of things out of the wound.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Mentioning the use of spoons and sporks in such a fashion reminded me of this scene. Enjoy the rest of the comic.

[XCashier]

Man, if someone had taken my noms, I would've murdered them slowly with a butter knife.

If you kill them too slowly, they have a chance to escape. I prefer the woodchipper. Fast, effective, and you can pass off the results as modern art paintings!

[Jay 2K Winger]

If you kill them too slowly, they have a chance to escape. I prefer the woodchipper. Fast, effective, and you can pass off the results as modern art paintings!

Or as a public safety message!

"Be careful, or be roadkill!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Or as a public safety message!

"Be careful, or be roadkill!"

I recall that being a Calvin & Hobbes project.