So, I pretty much cracked. In front of EVERYBODY.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I'm playing hookey, today. I didn't think they would understand at work, so I told them I was puking all over the place. They were just all, "okay, see you on Saturday." I have two days off coming up, so hopefully I'll feel better after this mini-vacation. Just a few things going on in my life right now:

-My dog is dying.
-I found out this morning that my cat is dying too. Nice.
-Kevin wants to spend Christmas apart. I don't want to. There's more to it, but I'm conflicted about whether or not it's a deal breaker for me.
-All I do is work.
-My car is broken.
-My friends live too far away.
-I want to go back to school, but can't afford it.
-I don't have health insurance and there are no free clinics around here.
-I think I'm depressed. I haven't been happy in a couple months now.
-I don't know what to do.

Just so everyone is clear, I HAVE NOT been thinkng of suicide.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

My doctor told me panic attacks were thought to be hereditary, so if either of your parents has ever had one, that increases the chances that was what it was.

Panic attacks suck, I have never thrown up, but my manager did call an ambulance once.

I'm adopted, so I don't really know what my medical history is.

[ArcticChicken]

-My dog is dying.
-I found out this morning that my cat is dying too. Nice.
-Kevin wants to spend Christmas apart. I don't want to. There's more to it, but I'm conflicted about whether or not it's a deal breaker for me.
-All I do is work.
-My car is broken.
-My friends live too far away.
-I want to go back to school, but can't afford it.
-I don't have health insurance and there are no free clinics around here.
-I think I'm depressed. I haven't been happy in a couple months now.
-I don't know what to do.

That.....really sucks.

Since you can't afford a doctor, at least find someone to talk to, it can really help.

Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger, so if you want, feel free to PM me. I'll give you my phone number, or my e-mail, or figure out how to make instant messaging work, whatever.

[Shpepper]

I'm playing hookey, today. I didn't think they would understand at work, so I told them I was puking all over the place. They were just all, "okay, see you on Saturday." I have two days off coming up, so hopefully I'll feel better after this mini-vacation. Just a few things going on in my life right now:

-My dog is dying.
-I found out this morning that my cat is dying too. Nice.
-Kevin wants to spend Christmas apart. I don't want to. There's more to it, but I'm conflicted about whether or not it's a deal breaker for me.
-All I do is work.
-My car is broken.
-My friends live too far away.
-I want to go back to school, but can't afford it.
-I don't have health insurance and there are no free clinics around here.
-I think I'm depressed. I haven't been happy in a couple months now.
-I don't know what to do.

Just so everyone is clear, I HAVE NOT been thinkng of suicide.

I'm going to add my two cents worth as well. There are options that I've come up with for you.

One is that all public hospitals have to treat you regardless of your ability to pay. Call your local hospital and ask about their sliding scale program for getting some medical help. They use a percentage based on your income and expenses.

Two. Look in the phone book or check online for a crisis hotline number. I'm really glad that you aren't feeling suicidal but you are in crisis and they may be able to help you and direct you to the proper places to get the help that you need. Not all crisis lines are for suicidal thoughts.

You might also try calling the Salvation Army, St Vincent de Paul or another organization like that for assistance in getting your car repaired. Sometimes they know where you can go and get it done for nothing or super cheap. The other option is to call a local high school or community college and see if they have an auto mechanics course and can fix your car as part of the class.


Good Luck and I'll keep thinking of other ideas for you.

[corporateslave]

I'm so sorry about everything.

Just to add:

.
-I think I'm depressed. I haven't been happy in a couple months now.

Panic attacks can indicate the presence of panic disorder, depression, or other forms of anxiety-based illnesses.

--from this
And: Some stuff on webmd about combating panic attacks

[Gabrielle Proctor]

Thanks everyone. I really am working to try to improve my situation. I finally told Kevin about what I was feeling. He was concerned that it was his fault, I told him a million times that it had nothing to do with him. He did realise how important Christmas was to me and we managed to make a compromise.

We are both thinking of solutions to my problem. Thanks everyone, it feels good to have support.

[auntiem]

You might also try calling the Salvation Army, St Vincent de Paul or another organization like that for assistance in getting your car repaired. Sometimes they know where you can go and get it done for nothing or super cheap. The other option is to call a local high school or community college and see if they have an auto mechanics course and can fix your car as part of the class.

Excellent idea - our Tech. College fixes cars for dirt cheap if not free depending on the problem. They also give nearly free dental cleanings.
Are there any "clearing house" type programs in town? We have a place that you go there and get a caseworker who will look at your situation and set you up with whatever local programs you qualify for - government / church / charity / other resources. Several programs are secifically for people who are working, but need a boost here and there. There are also local professionals that let it be known that they will take x number of people pro bono if the "clearing house" place refers them. These kind of places are great because you only have to deal with one person who knows the ins and outs of everything available and you don't have to go it alone and waste tons of energy.
Find out if there is some way to get a clinic visit with blood work up for a reasonable sliding fee. Blood work ups can tell volumes (no pun intended) and can "fast track" a diagnosis for some issues, so you don't waste time (and doctor visits) puttering around a medical issue. For example, it wasn't until I got a clinic doctor that insisted I get a full panel ($98 non sliding fee) that TaDa! we got started on finding a cause and solution to my problem.

[Cat]

Hi Gab!

*hugs* to you

Sorry for all that is going on right now....if you need to vent or anything, please PM me




(OT....adopted people rule )

[WageSlaveofDoom]

Damn. I'm so sorry you're going through all this. It sucks when you feel like you have no choice but to keep plodding along because everything around you seems to fall apart... but you're obviously a strong person if you've kept going for this long.

***hugs and cookies***

Cat's offer is definitely seconded - if you want, you can vent to both of us! *^_^*

[Raventhistle]

Also, since i haven't seen it posted yet, make sure you are drinking enough water.
When I worked at Red&Khaki I was having problems with vertigo (getting dizzy) to the point where I couldn't work while I had it.

Come to find out it was heat stroke, because I'd been working on unloading the truck and they wouldn't let us have water bottles on the floor, so I'd get my blood pressure up (which stress will do to you) and then I'd get heat stroke, which triggered nausea and dizziness.

I'm betting it's more panic/stress than anything, and you very well may need a break.
Which is hard to do, because it's work, and all. But yeah, make sure you drink enough liquids.

*hugs* hope things are getting better

~fellow panicy person