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10 Things I Am Sick Of Hearing At Karaoke:
1. Can you move me up on the list? I'm about to leave.
Bonus if you ask me this every week, when I know damn well you're staying until 2AM.
2. What do you have by *Random Artist*?
Go look at the book. Don't tell me you left your glasses at home. I am not your mommy. I will not read all the songs off to you.
3. When is it going to be my turn?
Do not ask this after every song. When I call your name - it's your turn.
4. I'm going to sing X, then me and my friend are going to sing Y, then me and my friend are going to sing Z, and then I'm going to sing...
Look. You get one song per round. Your friend gets one song per round. If you want me to queue up songs for you for the next four rounds, fine. But you're not doing all of those in a row. No way in hell.
5. That guy over there wants to sing *random song*
Then that guy over there can come tell me. I'm not putting a song in for somebody who may or may not know about it. You think it's cute to have us call his name and freak him out when he has no intention of singing. Stop wasting my time.
6. Why can't you play CDs? I paid a lot of money for my karaoke CDs! *rant rant rant*
Because I don't have that capability. I have explained this to you. If you want to use your CD and only your CD, go somewhere where they can play it. I have almost 15,000 different songs (no duplicates) in my database, and I refuse to believe that there is nothing in there you know. I have my own CDs too. But if I go somewhere where I can't use them, I suck it up and sing what they have. Deal.
7. Just pick me out a song.
Unless you're a regular with whom I am fairly familiar, no. My program keeps a history of what you sing, so if you've been here several times I can probably pick something from there. If I have never seen you before in my life, and I have no idea what you sing, I can not pick a song for you. Anyone who insists on me picking their song will sing "In The Navy."
8. You don't have X? Can't you get it now?
What the hell karaoke can magically produce songs they don't have out of thin air? Just because I use a laptop does not mean I can Google the song you want and have it appear in my database. Most places won't even look for it to have it next time.
9. This song is too fast! (or too slow)
You picked it, dumbass. I don't speed up and slow down the songs just to mess with you. Though it might be fun if I did.
10. You skipped me!
No, I didn't. I go in order. You are too drunk to understand this. Everybody sings once, then we start over and everybody sings again. If you actually did get skipped, it was probably because you went to the other bar down the street for an hour.
End rant.
1. Can you move me up on the list? I'm about to leave.
Bonus if you ask me this every week, when I know damn well you're staying until 2AM.
2. What do you have by *Random Artist*?
Go look at the book. Don't tell me you left your glasses at home. I am not your mommy. I will not read all the songs off to you.
3. When is it going to be my turn?
Do not ask this after every song. When I call your name - it's your turn.
4. I'm going to sing X, then me and my friend are going to sing Y, then me and my friend are going to sing Z, and then I'm going to sing...
Look. You get one song per round. Your friend gets one song per round. If you want me to queue up songs for you for the next four rounds, fine. But you're not doing all of those in a row. No way in hell.
5. That guy over there wants to sing *random song*
Then that guy over there can come tell me. I'm not putting a song in for somebody who may or may not know about it. You think it's cute to have us call his name and freak him out when he has no intention of singing. Stop wasting my time.
6. Why can't you play CDs? I paid a lot of money for my karaoke CDs! *rant rant rant*
Because I don't have that capability. I have explained this to you. If you want to use your CD and only your CD, go somewhere where they can play it. I have almost 15,000 different songs (no duplicates) in my database, and I refuse to believe that there is nothing in there you know. I have my own CDs too. But if I go somewhere where I can't use them, I suck it up and sing what they have. Deal.
7. Just pick me out a song.
Unless you're a regular with whom I am fairly familiar, no. My program keeps a history of what you sing, so if you've been here several times I can probably pick something from there. If I have never seen you before in my life, and I have no idea what you sing, I can not pick a song for you. Anyone who insists on me picking their song will sing "In The Navy."
8. You don't have X? Can't you get it now?
What the hell karaoke can magically produce songs they don't have out of thin air? Just because I use a laptop does not mean I can Google the song you want and have it appear in my database. Most places won't even look for it to have it next time.
9. This song is too fast! (or too slow)
You picked it, dumbass. I don't speed up and slow down the songs just to mess with you. Though it might be fun if I did.
10. You skipped me!
No, I didn't. I go in order. You are too drunk to understand this. Everybody sings once, then we start over and everybody sings again. If you actually did get skipped, it was probably because you went to the other bar down the street for an hour.
End rant.
customers that sang like chinchillas in heat. [Turns mic down] [Turns background vocals UP!]
I mean, your song is on the list. 
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