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Crazy tree lady
  #1  
Old 05-08-2019, 08:09 AM
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AkaiKitsune AkaiKitsune is offline
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Default Crazy tree lady

So this lady comes up to ask for help in floral which isn’t unusual at the time as the actual floral peeps have gone home by then.

Only no.

This lady takes 3 f***ing hours!

“What do you think about that one” (proceeds to disregard anything I say) “maybe I should get all three” (will it get you out of here? I have shot to do) “well what will it look like when it grows up?” (How the fuck should I know? Depends on a lot of factors. Are you planting it in the ground or in a pot? Soil? Watering? Are you planning to train it a certain way? Just buy something or get out of the store already!)

When she finally bought something she put the other trees on hold. “Just in case”

Then two weeks later after floral constantly trying to get a hold of her to say hey we need to know if you’re still buying this or not because it’s product and we have to move it or money isn’t being made. She finally comes in.

“This isn’t the tree I put on hold.” “It doesn’t look the same!” (Well imagine leaving a tree alone for two weeks in the beginning of the growing season and coming back to find out it’s grown a few inches!) Etc for a good half hour.

Then it’s “well it was at this price! That’s what I paid for the others!” (That was two weeks ago lady. Sale ended get over it and no we won’t don't even ask.)

It was one of those Japanese maples and if given the right conditions those things grow fast for a tree. The one I bought last year is almost double the size this year. That being said my garden sometime gigantifies things it shouldn’t. Normal plants don’t just grow aggressively they get to be many times their standard size and not because their a special species that does that. My calla lilies have grown to disturbing sizes for instance. I can pluck a single flower and the flower itself is big enough that its the size of my sink (the actual sink not the counter the sink is sunk into. And they seem to be getting bigger each year... yet I kill tulips... And succulents...
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  #2  
Old 05-08-2019, 12:17 PM
Mental_Mouse Mental_Mouse is offline
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Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post
That being said my garden sometime gigantifies things it shouldn’t. Normal plants don’t just grow aggressively they get to be many times their standard size and not because their a special species that does that. My calla lilies have grown to disturbing sizes for instance. I can pluck a single flower and the flower itself is big enough that its the size of my sink (the actual sink not the counter the sink is sunk into. And they seem to be getting bigger each year... yet I kill tulips... And succulents...
So, is your garden planted over an old radioactive waste dump or something?

Better
  #3  
Old 05-08-2019, 02:10 PM
earl colby pottinger earl colby pottinger is offline
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So, is your garden planted over an old radioactive waste dump or something?

He hopes, because the alternative is an old Indian Burial Site, and no good will come if they plant a Venus Flytrap or Pitcher-Plant. And for every bodies sake don't even look at a Rafflesia arnoldii.

  #4  
Old 05-08-2019, 02:18 PM
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If they start asking to be fed and eat your dentist, time to get out the round up.
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  #5  
Old 05-08-2019, 08:15 PM
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So, is your garden planted over an old radioactive waste dump or something?
My mother's father used to buy a truckload of well-rotted manure from local farms for his garden. One year he just left it in a pile in the corner of the garden, rather than spreading it around. The tomato plants in that area grew eight feet tall ... and got some worried comments from passersby ...
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  #6  
Old 05-08-2019, 08:56 PM
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... The tomato plants in that area grew eight feet tall ... and got some worried comments from passersby ...
And naive students smoking purloined leaves...
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  #7  
Old 05-09-2019, 03:25 PM
nutraxfornerves nutraxfornerves is offline
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I grew up in a semi-rural area. We had free range chickens that roamed the yard. My dad did a lazy man’s compost. He would dig a pit about 3 feet/1meter in diameter and 18”/50 cm deep. We had a becket n the kitchen for vegetable scraps. He’d dump them in the pit along with other compostable stuff.

The chickens would jump in, rake the stuff around, which would break it down, and add some extra, um, nitrogen. When it got near the top, Dad would cover it with a layer of dirt and let it mellow. The pits became next year’s vegetable garden.

  #8  
Old 05-10-2019, 12:10 AM
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Ironclad Alibi Ironclad Alibi is offline
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Quote:
Quoth Pixelated View Post
My mother's father used to buy a truckload of well-rotted manure from local farms for his garden. One year he just left it in a pile in the corner of the garden, rather than spreading it around. The tomato plants in that area grew eight feet tall ... and got some worried comments from passersby ...
Maybe they saw the movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
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Rabbits
  #9  
Old 05-10-2019, 02:29 AM
earl colby pottinger earl colby pottinger is offline
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Default Rabbits

Since we were in the city, we had rabbits. We (my brothers and I) would cover the floor with cut grass and the rabbits would poop on it. We would take that to the backyard and bury it in the area the garden would be. Fill it up one year, leave over the winter , and the following year the plant grew and grew.

Nowadays I have a indoor garden, so I don't use manure because the smell will build up inside.

  #10  
Old 05-10-2019, 05:40 PM
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EricKei EricKei is offline
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This woman would hate living in the New Orleans area Due to the constant shifting of the below-sea-level earth there, the "coffee grounds" soil tends to be unusually rich. Plants that are meant for that climate (VERY humid, sub-tropical) do really well, while a number of plants that have no business growing that really have no business growing that far north (at all), such as bananas, plaintains, citrus, and bamboo, thrive with minimal upkeep.
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