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  • #16
    You are an SC if:

    - You think that paying your bill and not asking for a discount/free phone/gratuitous credit except for this 1 time makes you a good customer.
    - You claim it was not your fault that you dropped your phone, ran it over, backed over it, went over it with a lawnmower, set it on fire, and urinated on the ashes.
    - It was also not your fault that you let someone else borrow your phone and they broke it.
    - And it was entirely not your fault that you lost your phone, then called in 2 days later pissed off because someone found it not 3 minutes later and made hundreds of calls to Algeria (it's a guarantee in life. Anyone who finds your phone knows someone on the other side of the planet). When you are asked why you didn't call in when you knew it was missing, you defend yourself by saying that you wanted to keep it open so you could try calling it and ask whoever has it to give it back. But they never answered your call because they've been too busy calling cousin Balki.
    - You scream that the ridiculous amount of download/text message/IM charges on your kid's phone are wrong because you asked your sweet, innocent, perfect little angel and they told you they didn't do it even though your bill shows the time/date each and every instance occurred and the messages are all to their friend's numbers and the downloads are all his/her favorite songs.
    - You tell me that, in order to avoid renewing a contract with me (your provider who has taken care of your every need for the last X years,), you will go to another provider who can't give you what I can and you know next to nothing about and sign a contract with them unless I give you the phone with no contract.
    - You get mad about being suspended for not paying your bill. Even though you consistently pay every single bill late.
    - You bitch about the fee for making a payment with a rep, even though we make you aware of the numerous free payment options, even offering to transfer you to the automated payment system so it can take care of that without the fee.
    - You will also go to another provider if you refuse to make a payment by any means other than with a live rep, even though all providers charge payment processing fees.
    - You think being without service for 2 hours entitles you to an entire month of free service.
    - You are mad that you don't get service when you go visit grandma-ma, who lives miles and miles from any known civilized location.
    - You move to China.
    - You make a comment about how you defecated in your pants when you saw your bill. When I say, "I do see the bill this month is $XXX.XX," you say. "HUUUUURGH! There it went again!"
    - Yes, a guy actually said that once.
    - You pronounce the word "phone" as "foon." I have no idea what kind of accent this is, it's all over the US, but I want to shove my pen through my eye and into my brain every time I hear it.
    - You accuse me of not "standing behind my products" when your ancient phone stops working after 4 years and I can replace it because the warranty is long since deceased.
    - You use the words "you people," or "your company."
    - You hit on me. You don't know where/who I am. You're also seriously barking up the wrong tree, guy (I'm taken and my girl is hotter than yours). Trying to sweet talk me not only will get you nowhere, but also gives me a +10 bonus to Hatred.
    - Asking for my supervisor, then when she/he comes on the line starting with "First of all, that girl was very rude and wouldn't help me at all..."
    - You accuse me of not knowing what "customer service" is. This includes saying I need to be retrained, you can't believe they let someone like me be in a job that's supposed to help people, my customer service is terrible, I am the most unhelpful rep you've ever talked to, my customer service sucks, and/or it's a shame that someone as horrible as me is allowed to call myself a customer service rep. Any one of these, or any combination of them, is used to describe your displeasure with the fact that I wouldn't give you a free phone with no contract, thousands of minutes for $10 a month, 2 years of free service, unlimited free shipping, a new car, pay off your mortgage, hand deliver your phone on a gilded pillow and then give you a lapdance, and give you my personal cell # so you can summon me at will to do your bidding. That's not "customer service," that's you being a self-serving, unreasonable, entitlement-demanding, asshat.
    Last edited by Kara; 08-27-2007, 03:07 PM.
    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

    Comment


    • #17
      Quoth Retail Associate View Post
      You might be an SC if...


      • ...you complain to the manager that I am "chatting on my cell phone and not helping customers" when in actuality, I'm on the STORE'S phone helping a CUSTOMER.




      .
      I have had a customers complain to the MOD that I was on a personal call. How they know that from seeing me on the phone is beyond me. The funny thing was that I was on the phone because the MOD asked me to check the temperature of one the the freezers because a "high temp" alarm had gone off for that zone. The SC went to the MOD scream how I was "DISRESPECTING THE CUSTOMERS BY BEING ON MY PHONE" The MOD calmly replied "Mam, he was on the phone with me, using a store phone, because a temp. alarm had gone off on a freezer and we need to have someone physically go top the freezer and check it. If the freezer was broke we would get compliants about spoiled food. We don't want that." She took off in a hurry after that.

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      • #18
        You might be an SC if.... (mixing examples from several jobs here)

        •You say "If this were $xx.xx I'd love to buy it" and your price is ANYTHING lower than the marked price.

        •You hack open a can of spray paint with a steak knife after being told NOT to do that, then demand a refund when it explodes all over your kitchen.

        •You act all surprised and shocked that your model kit:
        •requires assembly
        •requires glue
        •doesn't include glue
        •requires paint
        •doesn't include paint
        •takes longer than 5 minutes to build, when you picked out one of the largest and most difficult kits we carry

        •You act all surprised and shocked that you must do the following when booking a University-owned vehicle and a driver, despite these requirements being clearly listed on the paperwork you filled out:
        •Pay for tolls
        •Pay for parking
        •Provide maps/directions as needed
        •Wear your seatbelt
        •Pack out your garbage
        •Refrain from smoking in the vehicle

        •You make ANY statement about what "Everywhere Else" does or does not do.

        •You ask me if you can get yesterday's/tomorrow's sale price on an item and act all offended when you are told you can't.

        •You blatantly ignore quantity limits. Bonus points for doing any of the following:
        *demanding to speak to a manager
        *claiming your infant/toddler/family member who isn't present counts as another customer
        *claiming you are purchasing this stuff with the intention of shipping it to needy children overseas when we both know you are a PIA reseller
        *telling me that "no one has a class of less than 30" as if:
        •that's true
        •it makes a difference
        •I care

        •You tell me that Office Depot/Office Max will accomodate your [insert totally unreasonable demand here] that I won't accomodate.

        •You ask to speak to "someone who know's what they are talking about" after I tell you you can't [insert totally impossible thing here].

        •You think that WE pay YOU $10 to take you old computer equipment in for recycling.

        •You balk at the $10 computer recycling fee, then ask "what I will do" if you just leave the stuff on the counter and walk away.

        •You ask me to check for an item "in the back" when it is clearly marked "Out of Stock" and I have already assured you it is out of stock.

        •You ask me for "Vista Pro" after I have already told you three or more times that there is no "Vista Pro"

        •You refuse to buy a Service Plan, then come back ripping mad when the item fails and we can't help you because you're outside the 14 day return policy.

        •You think the manufacturer's warranty means you walk into the store for a replacement when it fails, then get ripping mad when you find out it doesn't work that way.

        •You demand my PERSONAL assurance that something will work, as if I built it myself.

        •You demand to know "what I am going to do" about a problem that is:
        •YOUR fault
        •A third party issue
        •the way it is SUPPOSED to work
        •YOUR damn fault!!

        •You INSIST that deliveries to Massachusetts are not subject to sales tax.

        •You think Glass Furniture is unbreakable

        •You balk at the price of the ink cartridge you need when it is one of the cheapest cartridges around.

        •You take it out on me when you find out how expensive the TI-8X graphing caculator Junior needs for class costs more than $10.

        •You think that buying a PC with no attachemtns entitles you to a discount/freebies becuase you are "Spending a lot"

        •You demand that I personally instruct you on the operation of your new GPS device, then demand that I install it in your car for you, all for no extra charge [I did not acquiesce to these demands]

        •You lecture me on a topic you know nothing about

        •You pester me when it is painfully obvious that I am off the clock (ie holding food, out of uniform), or am on my way into the Men's Room.

        •You fail to grasp the concept of "While Supplies Last"

        (I'd better stop; this is already way to the hell too long)
        Last edited by Dave1982; 08-28-2007, 04:57 PM. Reason: typos, grammar, clarification
        "We guard the souls in heaven; we don't horse-trade them!" Samandrial in Supernatural

        RIP Plaidman.

        Comment


        • #19
          Dave1982, I can agree with just about every one of those.

          One of my own from my adventures in Back to School sales.

          Scenario: It's Tuesday. You've just discovered that the laptop you want is sold out. I have discovered that another store about an hour's drive away has some, or I can order it and have it delivered with your name on it without shipping charges by the following Monday, or you can come in on Friday afternoon and try to get one of the three coming in on our delivery truck, or you can order it online where you get it directly to your house within as little as two days but have to pay shipping charges.

          Do you...

          a - Consider those options and select one that fits your needs?

          b - Whine that you need it today because you claim you haven't registered yet for your university's financial aid (and your deadline is tomorrow, but you can't be bothered to go to a local library or a friend's house and use their internet access), then ask me to "check in the back one more time" just to make sure I don't have one?

          c - Complain that this "always happens" when you come shopping at my store and that you should have known not to come back hoping things would be different this time?

          or, d - Demand that I take $50 off for your inconvenience, then drive to the hour-away store myself and get one for you there?

          If you selected "a," you are not a Sucky Customer and are loved by all retail employees.
          If you selected "b," "c," or "d," you are a Sucky Customer.
          If you selected "b," "c," AND "d," you were the week's Sucktastic Queen.
          I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
          - Bill Watterson

          My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
          - IPF

          Comment


          • #20
            Quoth Kara_CS View Post
            You are an SC if:
            - You think that paying your bill and not asking for a discount/free phone/gratuitous credit except for this 1 time makes you a good customer.
            If paying your bill and not asking for things doesn't make you a good customer, what does?

            Comment


            • #21
              You may be a sucky technical customer if...
              • You say, "Help me with this, because I'm paying your salary!" when you call a toll-free tech support line.
              • Your idea of an error report is, "Well, the system worked, but now it doesn't."
              • You go into the system registry to look up some entries that a friend told you about, clear out the whole section (rendering your Windows system into a paperweight), and tell the tech support person, "I didn't change anything!"
              Experience is knowing how not to get your teeth kicked in - again. -- The Freethinker

              "And that... entitles you to no mercy at all, no matter what." -- from Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

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