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Question v.s. Declarative statement

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  • Question v.s. Declarative statement

    One of my biggest pet peeves are people that write things like the following. This is an e-mail I received from a customer.
    I also have (2) questions:

    Which price list am I supposed to use? (List 1) or (List 2).

    Customer Service sent me a 3D drawing of the tower options. The numbers listed on this drawing don’t match up to the price list. My customer wants the (Model number) w/ frosted doors but they are not listed in the price list??
    I want to discuss this line by line.

    First: Despite the honors diploma from High School, AND despite the Associates Degree in Mechanical Engineering, AND despite the Bachelors in Manufacturing Engineering…I CAN COUNT. Do not waste my time telling me how many questions you are about to ask. If you want to ensure that I have answered each and every questions, then number them. More often that not 90% of questions are answered by some sort of RTFM answer. (that means Read The F’ing Manual for those of you not in tech support)

    Second: The first question is a good question. It is simple, it is direct, and I like it.

    Third: As to the first sentence, Customer Service did not send you that. Notice how MY name is on the drawing, and simultaneously in the “From” box in the e-mail you received? The second sentence is fine, simple and to the point. The third sentence is not a question. Putting question marks at the end of the sentence does not make that sentence into a question. That sentence is a statement. It is informative. It tells me what your customer wants, and it tells me that those are not listed in the manual. The way you know that it is not a question is that there is no answer. If I say “What is the temperature outside?” you could answer with a number. If I say “It is 70 degrees outside” there is no answer to that question because it is not a question. It is a statement.

    I think we have discovered the root of the problem. You answered your own question. You are looking at (List 2) not (List 1). If you looked in (List 1) where you were looking in (List 2) you would have found the model numbers you were looking for. Congrats, you are part of the majority and receive “RTFM” as your problem solving advice.


    I feel the need to point out that this customer was the one that has this little e-mail parlay with me also:
    Her: Can I get a drawing of my quote?
    Me: I can do drawings, what is your quote number?
    Her: It was the one you did for me, you should have it.
    Me: All of our quotes are organized by the quote number. I have done over 3800 quotes this year, after a while they start to run together. What is your number?
    Her: It is XXXXXXXX. I thought you had this already.
    Me: (the response I WANT to send) Yes. I am in the habit of asking for information I already have. I have had it for days. However, the 85 average e-mails I receive a day, and the 26 average phone calls I receive a day leave me time to get bored. I REALLY just wanted someone to talk to.

    (*Edit for my Lisdexia *)
    Last edited by bob the goat; 09-21-2007, 07:27 PM.

  • #2
    Bah. I get that all the time. It usually comes in two parts from the customer, and usually while I am busily trying to help three other customers at the same time.

    Part One: "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?"

    From my experience in this line of work, I can already point out three problems with this. Whatever they're about to say next is never quick, is never a question, and is never "a."

    Part Two: Something along the lines of "I'm looking for this sale monitor in your ad here, but I can't find it on the shelf. And I need to know if I can get a discount on it. And I need to know how to change settings on my computer so it will be able to do something it was never designed to do without paying extra for upgrades or software or worrying about the legality of my intentions."

    See? That was four non-question statements designed to elicit a response from me that would make it sound as if I answered a question, none of which can be answered quickly unless your definition of a "quick answer" is one that takes ten minutes or more.

    I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who notices this problem.
    I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
    - Bill Watterson

    My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
    - IPF

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    • #3
      Quoth bob the goat View Post
      More often that not 90% of questions are answered by some sort of RTFM answer. (that means Read The F’ing Manual for those of you not in tech support)
      Just a quick edit
      I used to be disgusted... Now I'm just amused

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post

        Part One: "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?"
        My usual response...

        You just did, do you want another?
        A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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        • #5
          Quoth crazylegs View Post
          My usual response...

          You just did, do you want another?
          My response to the "quick question" question?

          "Apparently you can."

          ^-.-^
          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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          • #6
            Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post
            From my experience in this line of work, I can already point out three problems with this. Whatever they're about to say next is never quick, is never a question, and is never "a."
            Hehe, I'm reminded of the movie Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield when he has his oral final exam, the professor who is trying to get him expelled has "just one question. In 27 parts."
            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth I Love Pit Bulls
              Gahhh...the NOT quick question people!

              I have noticed they have a really annoying ability to zero in on me when I'm trying to: 1) hurry to the bathroom, 2) trying to get to the break room and have some food before I faint, or 3) hold their hands and find everything for them when I've already clocked out and thought I might actually get out of there on time.

              If I've already clocked out I will pass them off to the nearest coworker. Cuz if I've clocked out odds are I have my stuff and am on my way out the door.
              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

              Comment

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