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Retail Paradoxes
Old 07-19-2006, 03:34 AM
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Default Retail Paradoxes

This thread is for the posting and discussion of retail paradoxes you have encountered. These paradoxes, like cosmic double-sided duct tape, hold the world in balance with their equal and opposite repellence and attraction.

Despite the fact that the world would obviously esplode (not just explode, esplode) without them, they are still annoying. List dilemmas that you have noticed here.

I'll start the ball rolling.

-If, when greeting customers, you don't greet someone's kids, you are "not child-friendly." If you do greet the customer's children, you are a pedophile.

-If you ask someone if they need help, you are an annoying, upselling leech. If you don't try to assist them, you are providing poor customer service.

-If you strike up a conversation at the register, you are an irritating chatterbox. If you don't try to small talk with them, you are rude and aloof.

Old 07-19-2006, 06:09 AM
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Ringtail Z28 Ringtail Z28 is offline
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I got a couple.

- Customers want the lines to move faster, so they want to bitch about it to the cashier, the supervisor, management, and anyone else nearby, causing that particular checklane to come to a complete halt.

- Customers complain about how trashed the restrooms are, right after they plugged up the toilet and sink.
"I don't have an anger problem I have an idiot problem!" - Hank Hill

When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt, run around in little circles, wave your arms and shout!

Old 07-19-2006, 06:57 AM
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-You should watch a customers kid, but never ever tell that kid what to do.

-If said kid does get hurt, it's your fault for not telling them not to do that, even though you are not supposed to tell someone elses kid what to do

Old 07-19-2006, 11:05 AM
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The customer should always have your full attention, time and help, unless you are dealing with a customer thats not them.

In this case you should drop the original customer IMMEDIATELY and rush and help the new one.
"don't go to the neighbors,that's just what the fire expects you to do"-phillippbo
"Please do not look into laser with remaining eyeball."
Support bacteria.They're the only culture some people have.

Old 07-19-2006, 07:40 PM
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If you ask what happened immediately before a computer went south (errors etc), you're being "too technical". If you don't ask you're not "working with" them (whatever the hell that means...I'm working with you by trying to fix things).
"I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

Last edited by Dreamstalker; 07-19-2006 at 07:51 PM.

Old 07-20-2006, 12:12 AM
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A manager can stop you for half an hour to talk about his trip to the Bahamas, but will then yell at you for not getting your work done.

When you stock shelves, you get in trouble for ignoring customers. But if you help customers all day, you get in trouble for having a bunch of holes.
I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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