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I swear. When you don't have regular grocery bags, people get vicious. Like, neglected-and-abused-Rottweiler-with-a-stranger-over-the-last-piece-of-kibble vicious. Last December, I worked ten-hour days telling people we were out of Christmas doodads, and I didn't deal with as many nasty people in a week as I had in the first hour today.
We had a few giant sized plastic bags. Like, big enough to cover a Labrador. And we had paper bags. Not big grocery sacks. The kind you use to brown bag your lunch to work. The kind you make puppets out of. And, every now and again, we uncovered a few stray plastic grocery bags. I tried to make them last, but people were offended by the mere suggestion of using anything but regular grocery bags.
You have a few greeting cards? They'd fit in a paper bag. Hell, they'd fit in your purse. Nope. Need a grocery bag. Buying one small item? Well, fuck you for even suggesting I carry it out myself like a barbarian! And I don't want a paper bag! I want a big Labrador bag! And you'd better double-bag my one thing of marshmallows, I'm taking the bus home! And the next person needs everything in a separate bag because she's buying for different people! No, I can't sort it out later! ONE ITEM PER BAG! DOUBLE BAG! BROWN BAGS ARE FOR TERRORISTS! One woman wouldn't leave without a bag because "she needed it for recycling." Well guess what, Skipper, we sell bags for that. You can get like fifty of them for a dollar. No, no, need a free bag.
I swear, they could not have been more demanding of these bags if the Russians had just launched the nukes, and those bags were their only ticket into the fallout shelter. And would protect them from radiation. I'm serious.
I have no idea why the bags set them off. Usually at their worst, they're stupid and oblivious but generally polite. And it's not like I haven't dealt with my fair share of angry people. Fuck, I worked at Disney World on Christmas. That's the busiest, highest-tension thing I can think of, and I worked it. But the bags? They broke me. I actually cried because these people and their bags... their bags, man. What is up with the bags? Why are you willing to go to war over bags? THEY'RE JUST BAGS. THEY CAN'T LOVE YOU.
I mean, I understand not wanting to carry your stuff out raw. I can understand not wanting to pay an extra dollar for a reusable bag. I can understand needing a bag, even if it doesn't look like you do. I really do. You're taking the bus. You have arthritis. I believe you. I can't see that. But to go nuts at me for just asking if you need one, as we're extremely limited? A simple, "No, sorry, I need one." That's it. I understand. I was just suggesting it, in case you didn't realize we were running out of bags. Some people are actually nice and understanding. Most give a nasty, "Well, that's not MY problem!" Lady, don't take that tone with me or I will MAKE it your problem. You wanna go? I'll meet you out in the parking lot, we'll go.
And when we are actually OUT of regular bags, no amount of shouting, whining, or pleading will make bags happen. I understand that. You know that feeling where, right after someone you love dies, if you just go to their house, just look at their favorite chair, they'll be sitting there, smiling and laughing? Asking you why you look so down? That's how I feel about bags. That if I just look under the counter one more time, there'll be a secret cache. But there's not. And your grandmother is never coming back to life. So stop yelling at me.
They are just bags. It's not worth getting upset about.
And you, with the nasty ass attitude? You're not worth getting upset about, either. You will not break me again. I will not let you.
Oh, and speaking of limited resources? DO NOT PAY FOR TWO DOLLARS WORTH OF CRAP WITH A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL. Just... just don't. Get change. Please. It's not worth it's own thread, just... damn. Twice in an hour.
We had a few giant sized plastic bags. Like, big enough to cover a Labrador. And we had paper bags. Not big grocery sacks. The kind you use to brown bag your lunch to work. The kind you make puppets out of. And, every now and again, we uncovered a few stray plastic grocery bags. I tried to make them last, but people were offended by the mere suggestion of using anything but regular grocery bags.
You have a few greeting cards? They'd fit in a paper bag. Hell, they'd fit in your purse. Nope. Need a grocery bag. Buying one small item? Well, fuck you for even suggesting I carry it out myself like a barbarian! And I don't want a paper bag! I want a big Labrador bag! And you'd better double-bag my one thing of marshmallows, I'm taking the bus home! And the next person needs everything in a separate bag because she's buying for different people! No, I can't sort it out later! ONE ITEM PER BAG! DOUBLE BAG! BROWN BAGS ARE FOR TERRORISTS! One woman wouldn't leave without a bag because "she needed it for recycling." Well guess what, Skipper, we sell bags for that. You can get like fifty of them for a dollar. No, no, need a free bag.
I swear, they could not have been more demanding of these bags if the Russians had just launched the nukes, and those bags were their only ticket into the fallout shelter. And would protect them from radiation. I'm serious.
I have no idea why the bags set them off. Usually at their worst, they're stupid and oblivious but generally polite. And it's not like I haven't dealt with my fair share of angry people. Fuck, I worked at Disney World on Christmas. That's the busiest, highest-tension thing I can think of, and I worked it. But the bags? They broke me. I actually cried because these people and their bags... their bags, man. What is up with the bags? Why are you willing to go to war over bags? THEY'RE JUST BAGS. THEY CAN'T LOVE YOU.
I mean, I understand not wanting to carry your stuff out raw. I can understand not wanting to pay an extra dollar for a reusable bag. I can understand needing a bag, even if it doesn't look like you do. I really do. You're taking the bus. You have arthritis. I believe you. I can't see that. But to go nuts at me for just asking if you need one, as we're extremely limited? A simple, "No, sorry, I need one." That's it. I understand. I was just suggesting it, in case you didn't realize we were running out of bags. Some people are actually nice and understanding. Most give a nasty, "Well, that's not MY problem!" Lady, don't take that tone with me or I will MAKE it your problem. You wanna go? I'll meet you out in the parking lot, we'll go.
And when we are actually OUT of regular bags, no amount of shouting, whining, or pleading will make bags happen. I understand that. You know that feeling where, right after someone you love dies, if you just go to their house, just look at their favorite chair, they'll be sitting there, smiling and laughing? Asking you why you look so down? That's how I feel about bags. That if I just look under the counter one more time, there'll be a secret cache. But there's not. And your grandmother is never coming back to life. So stop yelling at me.
They are just bags. It's not worth getting upset about.
And you, with the nasty ass attitude? You're not worth getting upset about, either. You will not break me again. I will not let you.
Oh, and speaking of limited resources? DO NOT PAY FOR TWO DOLLARS WORTH OF CRAP WITH A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL. Just... just don't. Get change. Please. It's not worth it's own thread, just... damn. Twice in an hour.
I mean, the bag ban was all over the news for months, warning people that stores would stop carrying plastic bags on X date and charge 5ยข for paper bags. And they remember their reusable bags for the grocery stores, but not for non-grocery stores. And of course, who gets yelled at because of it? Not the people who made and passed the law, but the poor schnooks on the cash registers who had nothing to do with it and no power to do anything about it. 
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