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It's been a long time
Old 10-10-2019, 11:45 PM
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Food Lady Food Lady is offline
I need a life
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The Express Lane
Posts: 5,817
Default It's been a long time

since I was written up for something. That was in retail when I couldn't keep the food area clean every night after I left work. (There was no gate and so people would go in and use the drink machines after hours, leaving a mess. Also, we never had enough time to do everything.)

So, background: 5 hours sleep last night due to getting home very late and emotional drama. Yesterday my friend's mom passed away suddenly, another friend ended up in the ER (yesterday, too, and she needs surgery), and my mom was scheduled to meet with her doctor to find out if she has cancer. I should have called in but I'm running out of sick time. I was already on empty and today was a meeting I didn't have time for.
We are doing refresher training on stuff I don't ever use and wasn't thoroughly trained in. The group that did it yesterday was in for several hours and I should have known it would take that long for us, but with all that went on yesterday, it wasn't the first thing on my mind. When it dawned on me I was already frustrated because I'd promised a customer I'd work on their acct. today. I also came in to 8 customer emails.

So, then, I was frustrated but I picked up my laptop and went to the meeting room and tried to pull up my stuff. My settings went wonky and I couldn't see my ledger properly and I couldn't really see the projection up front. At one point, to my discredit, I frustratedly said "I can't see anything! I can't read that up there and I can only see two lines on my screen. I don't know what I'm doing." Those were the only sentences out of me thus far and really nothing after that. I was just kind of sitting there trying to figure out what was going on and I probably looked annoyed because I was. To me that isn't that much a crime. But here's why I'm going to be written up:

At one point I felt a migraine coming on and needed water. I went out and didn't gingerly close the door because I didn't remember that those doors are the type that if you let them go a couple of inches from the door frame they'll slam. It was NOT intentional, which I told my boss when she pulled me aside and told me her boss wanted me on probation.

We had a long discussion because I had sent her a message before telling her that sitting in the meeting made me feel like I'm not qualified for this job. And yet, she said that I had needed to tell her. Um, I did. I guess I should have said something earlier?
Also she asked me if I was intending to resign. I said that I can't afford to. (I'm not stupid enough to just quit without something else in place.)
She asked why I hadn't sat up front and I said the last time I did sit up front I still couldn't really read the projection (floaters, needing reading glasses, etc.). If I had been able to see on my screen I wouldn't have gotten frustrated. But most of my frustration is that we are collectors but we're doing accounts receivable which I've never done in my life before and with all the pressure to actually you know, collect, I leave the AR stuff alone. I mean, occasionally I do ask for help but most of the time I don't really run across it anyway. (That ledger is for non-contractual stuff and most of what I do is contract.)

I actually like doing the AR stuff that I do know how to do but none of us are meeting goals because of having to do it. I'm stressed and I make less than a barista does in some places. I am a customer-oriented person and but I'm supposed to be numbers-oriented. It's just too much.

So I am job-hunting because the writing's on the wall and people in that office drive me nuts anyway. I just don't know how I'm going to explain being put on probation for daring to say in a meeting that I couldn't see/understand something and then being accused of willfully slamming a door which I did not. Not everyone asks "Have you been disciplined..." but some do.
My mere existence in your field of vision doesn't entitle you to my attention.
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