A typical call for me

[Phone Jockey]

You wanted it, you got it! Welcome to my world...

Customer: My cable box isn’t working.
Me: OK, let’s reboot the box. Unplug the box for me, mam.
Customer: I can’t do that, I’m 75 years old! (yes, she really said that)
Me: It’s easy. Just unplug the cord from the back of the box.
Customer: Um, okay. Let me try. (5 minutes of loud noises) Okay, I did it. The brown box, right?
Me: Brown?
Customer: I unplugged a brown box.
Me: It should be black.
Customer: OH! The digital box??
Me: Um, yes. What did you unplug then, mam?
Customer: The TV! It’s a big brown box!
Me(hand to forehead): No, the BLACK DIGITAL BOX on top of or near the TV.
Customer: OH! Oh no. I can’t unplug it.
Me: It’s easy.
Customer: Um, ok. OK, there are lots of wires hooked to the box.
Me: Lots? How many is “lots”?
Customer: Two.
Me: (rolling eyes): OK, unplug them.
Customer: Oh no, I can’t.
Me: It’s easy, trust me.
Customer: Oh, okay. Okay, it’s unplugged.
Me: Okay, let’s give it a minute to clear –
Customer: I’m sitting in the floor, will that make a difference?
Me(face to desk): No mam. Now plug in the box for me.
Customer: Plug it in?
Me: Yes mam. Plug in the box.
Customer: But---
Me: Plug in the box, mam.
Customer: Okay. It’s plugged up. Now what?
Me: Wait for it to reboot…
Customer: It didn’t reboot!
Me: Mam, it can take a minute or two to finish its cycle & reboot.
Customer: Oh okay. I’m just so glad you’re here for me! You sure are helping out a lot.

It went downhill from there.

[Jaden]

I almost broke rule number one reading that I just about died laughing

[Phone Jockey]

The sad thing is, it's a daily situation. I almost always get random stupidity like this when trying to reboot a cable box. Just about every call.

[Jaden]

PJ, you gotta bring some of us into work with you sometime, I gotta hear stuff like this for myself It blows my mind the amount of stupidity you deal with every day Poor, poor PJ

[Phone Jockey]

battle axe

PJ, you gotta bring some of us into work with you sometime, I gotta hear stuff like this for myself

You're better off running in the opposite direction! Sometimes I think even my old vulture ears (vultures have ears?) can't take the pain anymore...and I'm an old call center battle axe!

[Jester]

I almost broke rule number one reading that I just about died laughing

Okay, stupid question time. What the heck is rule number one?

[Ree]

Okay, stupid question time. What the heck is rule number one?

It's an unofficial CS rule.
"No eating or drinking while on CS. Your keyboard and computer will thank you."
The reason for this smilie:

[Barefootgirl]

Rule Number One; do not eat or drink anything while reading the boards. your monitor and keyboard will thank you for it.

Rule Number Two: watch out for the monkey. The sneaky little devil got loose several board incarnations ago, and despite endless traps baited with bananas, we've never been able to get him back.

[Becks]

Well, I'll say this for the old woman...she TRIED... Did she at first want a tech to come out to her house to do it for her?

[ExHDCashier]

PJ..where do you live because thats one town i sure dont want to drink the water from..omg... i think they should remane your town Idiotville!!

[South Texan]

Well, I'll say this for the old woman...she TRIED... Did she at first want a tech to come out to her house to do it for her?

I was thinking the same thing. At least she was being sincere and nice about her lack of technical knowledge. She could have been nasty and screaming and calling Phone Jockey names because she was incapable of understanding what Phone Jockey needed her to do.

[Phone Jockey]

least she was being sincere and nice about her lack of technical knowledge. She could have been nasty and screaming and calling Phone Jockey names because she was incapable of understanding what Phone Jockey needed her to do.

This is true. She wasn't rude or mean & for that, I'm grateful. Still, she was VERY trying. That's what I deal with a lot of times.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Rule Number One; do not eat or drink anything while reading the boards. your monitor and keyboard will thank you for it.

Rule Number Two: watch out for the monkey. The sneaky little devil got loose several board incarnations ago, and despite endless traps baited with bananas, we've never been able to get him back.

The third rule of CS.com is, you do NOT talk about CS.com! But only if you've been bad-mouthing the boss and don't want him/her to find out about it.

[Moirae]

Phone jockey, I've found a kindred spirit. lol. Do I ever know how you feel. 99% of the population should never ever be able to touch a computer.

[appliance god]

Some customers just do not have the faculties to operate the equipment they purchase....We just need to weed them out by some sort of prior-purchase I.Q test and then just give them a ball of yarn to play with or something