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Let your children drown then!

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  • #16
    Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
    Anything happening to a child is horrible, especially through the negligance of a parent.
    I beg to differ. In some circumstances (e.g. heelies kids flying down ramps and into, say, very large people trying to use the ramp who inadvertently flatten the kid while trying to get out of the way) things happening to children can be hil-freaking-larious. However, anything happening to a kid as a result of their parents' stupidity and/or negligence is downright criminal. Sometimes literally.

    Also, geese are more scared of you than you are of them.
    [Borat voice] NOT! [/Borat voice]
    "I'm not a crazed gunman, dad, I'm an assassin... Well, the difference being one is a job and the other's mental sickness!" -The Sniper

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    • #17
      Quoth customersruinmylife View Post
      SW: I DONT CARE! I WANT TO ENJOY THE DAY WITH MY CHILDREN BY THE RIVER!
      Why does it have to be at your establishment? Just because your bar is very smart in their rules regarding their PRIVATE PROPERTY doesn't mean there aren't other locations where she could go!

      The family goose story...... it was either my great-grandmother or great-great who is the heroine? victim? of the story. Back then it was common to have engagement pins (brouches? sp?) instead of rings. Her family owned geese and one day the pin fell off in the yard. Needless to say, they ate goose for something like 6 days before they recovered it! lol

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      • #18
        Quoth chainedbarista View Post
        chickens are good for two things (ducks animal activist ragers):

        eggs
        eatin'

        anything else is just clucking annoyance.
        Well, they eat bugs too. I'll put them as less of an annoyance than mosquitos as long as they eat those dudes.

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        • #19
          Guinea hens eat bugs, kill snakes, are great burglar alarms, taste good, and won't chase your kids. Oh, yeah, and they're ugly as sin and smell better than chickens.
          ...how do used tampons attract thieves? ---Sleepwalker

          Chickens are Asexual!

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          • #20
            Add me to the list of people once attacked by a goose. They're evil, nasty creatures.

            There's a coffee shop in my hometown that allows people to drink their coffees by the river, and they have the same rule about kids. I just don't know why anyone wants to sit down there. It stinks, and the flies and mosquitos would drive me insane.

            If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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            • #21
              As a bird lover, I have to beg to differ on the whole 'evil' thing. I know it may seem that way, but the birds are just protecting themselves the only way they know how.
              Keeping small children and dogs away from them is a very good idea. Geese and swans lay their eggs on the ground, and the only way they can defend their nests and babies is by fighting as hard as they can anything that comes near. So, they do.

              That being said, it always annoys people to see those 'fat, stupid looking geese' or 'gentle' swans being belligerent! We attach personalities based on looks to all kinds of animals...and often, they do NOT match. So, we get mad at them, because they are not what we think them to be.

              NOT that I want kids attacted...not at all. I would attack a bird if it was hurting anyone too!
              Feeding geese makes them stay longer than they should, and they cause traffic hazzards, create pollution, and noise. Don't feed them if you don't want them to stay, and keep away from them if you cannot defend yourself from them. Keep little kids and little dogs away from them unattended! <end rant>

              And the woman with the stroller (that started this thread...! ) was an idiot! She'd also be the first one to sue if anything happened to her precious child!!
              I no longer fear HELL.
              I work in RETAIL.

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              • #22
                I love the "is that optional" question. If it was optional, I imagine it would say something along the lines of "take your kids down there at your own risk." Dumbass.

                We get geese in the parking lot at work. A few weeks ago we got an email asking us not to feed the geese because we don't want to encourage them to hang around the lot. Then at the bottom of their explanation, they wrote in all caps, centered, "PLEASE DON'T FEED THE GEESE!"

                The park I go to near work has a wooded enclosure with a bunch of animals, deer and white geese, mostly (plus a peacock, a turkey, some quail, rabbits, different breeds of chickens, a couple goats, and an emu). The latter group each have their own little enclosures, but the deer and geese have the run of the rest of the place, but it's fenced off from the rest of the park. Outside of there, though, there are always a bunch of wild geese, and they poop all over the place. You gotta watch where you walk.

                My college has a little lake where there are several swans and lots of ducks. You had to be careful not to get too close to the swans or they would chase you off.
                I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                • #23
                  Quoth IlovemyGeek View Post
                  Ok, so when I am a bajillionaire...I will stock the moat of my impenatrable fortress with angry geese....that out to stop those pesky people who knock on my door. LOL
                  Bonus if you get geese that shoot bees out of their mouths....

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                  • #24
                    Hmmm...I was gonna go with lazers attached to their heads.
                    "If all else fails...blame the dog"

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                    • #25
                      I have a feeling that that family's day was doomed anyway, river, geese, drownings aside.

                      Unless, of course, the wife was the one chased into the river and drowned by geese. Then the family might consider that the day was looking up.

                      Jokes aside, people do not really realize just how big geese are. They are huge, and they can and will crack your skull like a melon.

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                      • #26
                        I was watching funniest home videos and they did a group of bird videos, including the obligatory 3ish-year-old tries to pet/play with large white goose (or geese) and gets pecked at and chased. Meanwhile mom/dad/whoever just keeps filming and some other adult figure in the background stands and watches and laughs. I immediately thought of this thread. I do not understand what these people are thinking. The bird is almost as tall as the kid and I'm sure a hell of a lot stronger. At the very least you get a small, frightened child and at worst you get to take a trip to the hospital. How people don't think to keep their kids from getting too close is beyond me.
                        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                        • #27
                          The sad thing is that you just know that if that woman did bring her kids down there and god forbid one of them fell in the river, she'd be wanting to sue your asses into bankruptcy for "negligence" or some other stupid stuff.

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                          • #28
                            Supposedly swans, geese, and similar size birds have enough strength in their wings to break bones as heavy as those in your legs, not to mention other more vital rigid spongy structures.
                            "There are times in your life when you'll have to eat crow. Actually, you don't have to eat it-just hold it in your mouth long enough until nobody's watching, and then spit it out."

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                            • #29
                              Quoth IlovemyGeek View Post
                              Hmmm...I was gonna go with lazers attached to their heads.
                              Not just any lasers, FRICKIN' lasers!

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Strikesfirmly View Post
                                Supposedly swans, geese, and similar size birds have enough strength in their wings to break bones as heavy as those in your legs, not to mention other more vital rigid spongy structures.
                                Yes, ther have been reports that their wing buffets breaking necks. This is usually when they're defending their nests.
                                I AM the evil bastard!
                                A+ Certified IT Technician

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