And I want a pony for christmas YOUR POINT?(LONG)

[TealJellyfish]

This is from last Friday. I had an EPIC brain to mouth filter failure.
This call came in at 4.45 Australian Time. So it was nearly 7pm where he was. This is important!

My Thoughts in (Bold!)

Me: Welcome to <my company> customer service. This is Lexi. How can I help you?
SC: I want to make a complaint!!! (Oh Dear!)
Me: Ok, If you can tell me which office your complaint is regarding I can direct you to the correct person
SC: You Mother Farking <suburb> office! (Yay swearing! Bonus Douchbag Points!)
Me: OK, We actually don't have an office in <suburb>... Are you certain it was that office? (We have never had an office here... EVER)
SC: YES I'M FARKING CERTAIN!
Me: OK... *looks up closest office* The closest office in that area is <Other suburb> Do you happen to know the name of the person you dealt with in the office? (so I can confirm its the correct office)
SC: <Name> (Practically spat down the phone line!)
Me: Ok, It is the <other suburb> I can give you the number of the regional manager. His name is John Smith. He is located in our Auckland Head Office.
SC: Transfer me! (God Dammit)
Me: I'm Sorry I don't have that ability... I can give you the number or I can take your name and number and pass your details on to John Smith if you would prefer
SC: JUST FARKING TRANSFER ME OK FAAAAARK (OK That's enough I've had it)
Me: Sir, I understand your are upset but please do not use language like that with me. I am trying to help you. Now would you like the number for John Smith? (Deep calming Breaths)
SC: My name is GIANT DUMBARSE. 1234 5678! You will have him call me within the next 10 minutes or I'm going to sue YOU personally for this! (Oh yes... sue the customer service rep in another company over some complaint.. that's going to happen. Not likely buddy)
Me: Sir I believe that the Head Office is closed as it is nearly 7pm there but I will pass on the message and let him know you want a call asap!(Shaking with anger at this point.. I just want him to go away!)
SC: Call him at home then! I need this sorted out FARKING NOW (Oh boy oh boy am I pissed off now!)
Me: Sir as I said before *he interrupts*
SC: I don't give a shit! Just make it happen OK! I want him to call me NOW. You got that you farking little bitch! (Brain to mouth filter FAILS)
Me: And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. I will pass your details to John and he will call you back as soon as he can... OK ( Brain goes UH OH… )
SC: YOU LITTLE MOTHER FARKING C**T
ME: Ok sir thats it I am hanging up now!

Thankfully he didn't call back.. I passed on his details and a week later nothing has happened (Like me getting in trouble) Even if I did I think it would be worth it! Seriously I hate people like this!

[powerboy]

Don't you just love the way they will sue you, if they don't get their way.

[iradney]

I would've hung up the at the first cuss word. You have more patience than I do!

[marasbaras]

I would've hung up when he threatened to sue you.

ME: Sir, now that you've threatened to sue, you'll have to take this matter up with my lawyer. *click*

[Rivulatus]

Our policy is that if someone swears at us, they get one warning, and 2nd time we just hang up. The odd cuss word here and there gets ignored, but when it is directed at us, we draw the line.

One bloke rang up and got one of my salespeople while I was next to him so I heard the goings on.
"Sir if you continue to use that language I will terminate this call"
barely a second went by and the salesman quite calmly hung up the phone.

Within a few seconds I hear a page for me to answer the phone.
"You **** **** *** your **** salesman just ****hung up on me the *****."
"Yes, and if you continue to use that language with me I will hang up on you too"
"**** ***** *****" Click.
The call then went to my superior.
Exactly the same routine.

Then the owner got it.
He did exactly the same thing.

Never did find out what the swearing man wanted - maybe he rang up again and acted civilized enough that we didn't realise it was the same person. Maybe he gave up. Maybe he had a coronary. Dunno.

[Boozy]

SC: Call him at home then! I need this sorted out FARKING NOW (Oh boy oh boy am I pissed off now!)

What service does your company provide, Lexi? Is this even a service anyone would need right away?

[PepperElf]

Is this even a service anyone would need right away?

only when it's wanted by a CS

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

SC: My name is GIANT DUMBARSE. 1234 5678! You will have him call me within the next 10 minutes or I'm going to sue YOU personally for this!

This is where you end the conversation by saying that since he's decided to escalate things to a legal matter, anymore contact on the matter will have to come from his lawyer to your lawyer.

What a snausage.

[chainedbarista]

cursing w/o a reason (of course, that's tried and true cs methodology) would be enough of a reason for me to warn him that is not going to continue or the call will end.

honesty, what rattles around in that empty space inside their head, besides wailing winds??

[Chazzie]

Wow, there are quite a few choice words I'd like to say about that caller as well. o.O I'm glad you told him what you did. At that point it doesn't matter what you say, they'll be ticked anyway, and you shouldn't have had to deal with that.

[Slytovhand]

Yeah - the swearing would have put me off as well... and 1st time maybe, 2nd time warning - there is no 3rd time.

As for the legal threat, down on this side of the planet, it usually doesn't work that way (but that would depend on the industry).

As a guess, I'd say a heater or hot water system or something similar blew. Although, as a SC, it could also be that he ran out of toilet paper and wanted to blame the landlords :P

[cinema guy]

Me: And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK!

Can I just say, That was awesome.

[Bramblerose]

SC: My name is GIANT DUMBARSE. 1234 5678! You will have him call me within the next 10 minutes or I'm going to sue YOU personally for this!

I can just see it:

Mr. Dumbarse walks intot eh legal office

"What can I do for you?"

"I want to sue this CSR. SHe didn't get me teh regional manager for me in 10 minutes at 7 pm"

Lawyer: "That will be $100 for being an idiot."

[Megg]

Then the owner got it.
He did exactly the same thing.

That is downright awesome.

[Whyme]

I'd like to meet the lawyer willing to take on his case. "You want to sue this person for not transferring your call? Um...".

I had a customer who insisted I could transfer his call to another store. He wasn't sucky, just an idiot. His friend in the backaround told him I could transfer the call therefore his friend must be right I did get it through to him I couldn't do transfer calls to different stores. No threats of litigation involved.