Don't whistle at me like I'm an f-ing dog!

[Gravekeeper]

I find the whole "guys hold the door for gals" thing a bit chauvanist, myself.

Really? I honestly find that rather surprising, since its not meant that way. <shrug> I was raised that it was just common courtesy when you're around a female of the species ( or seniors, or someone with their hands full. ). I suppose you could classify it as old fashion these days. But I learned all these little rules from my mom. ;p The door, the chair, etc. Also more precise ones, like never make a woman feel uncomfortable ( Avoid coming near her personal space, don't walk too closely behind her on the street, ESPECIALLY at night, stuff like that. )

I have a mental list thats second nature. Blame my mom.

[Shengirl]

I guess the difference is in the perception. When someone holds the door for me, I don't necessarily assume it's because I'm female. After all, I hold the door for men and women alike. So, it's not really an assumption of weakness as much as a random act of kindness, if viewed like that.

But then, if someone is opening the door just because I'm a woman? Oh well; hey, I don't have to get the door now. Unless he makes a big deal of it, because then it's just embarrassing.

[Andara Bledin]

Really? I honestly find that rather surprising, since its not meant that way. <shrug>

I guess the difference is in the perception.

Perception and presentation.

When people hold a door for me, I don't even consider that it might be because I'm female, it's just someone being randomly polite.

It's just the fact that when discussed, it's nearly always about guys holding doors for gals, specifically. It's the way it's stated that tends to irk me. It's the little things that people do without thinking that hold us back.

^-.-^

[Shabo]

I hold the door for people, especially if they are struggling with a stroller or hands full or anything. It's just polite. I always thank people when they hold the door for me, male or female. It's just a nice way of brightening someone's day without going out of your way to do so.

[Rapscallion]

Ever been in an old-folks home? Full of old women and the occasional old man.

This is due to the simple fact that men have lost so much of their energy holding those doors open to be polite.

It costs us, ladies. It costs us our lives.

Rapscallion

[GingerBiscuit]

I hold doors open for everyone. It's just polite. I was brought up with manners.

It's cooler and more rebellious these days to be a weirdo with impeccable manners, anyway

[Broomjockey]

It costs us, ladies. It costs us our lives.

Rapscallion

Really? I was always told it was to get away from the nagging.


Broomjockey - avoiding opening his mail for the next few days

[ShadedWings]

When I worked in a grocery store, they had those savings cards you can put on keychains... thus resulting in usually over a hundred people a day throwing their keys at you.

Add onto that a pet peeve of mine of people on their cell phone while at a register, totally ignoring the cashier... who knows, the cashier might just.. *gasp* have to ask you a question!? Add onto that (math, whee!) the fact that I'm not a rude person and tend to hate to interrupt conversations, usually I tend to end up NOT asking said questions that are usually important to the customer's purchase.

End result of said math... had one lady on her cell phone come up, and instead of asking for her savings card, I just started scanning her items. Since she refused to even look at me or acknowledge my working for her, I refused to interrupt her obviously important conversation. She therefor glared at me and held out her keys, holding them with two fingers like it was disgusting or something, and shook them in my face, like you would dangle a toy in front of a cat.

Needless to say I was instantly, furiously insulted.

Yes, I understand some phone conversations are important, but chatting with your friend about how your boyfriend is suuuuch a jerk is not. Besides, if I personally have to be on the phone while someone is helping me, I tend to think a smile toward said helpful person or a swift "I'm sorry, I'll be off in a minute" or "I'm sorry, it's important" takes only two seconds and is polite!

Two things most public is lacking these days... patience and politeness. Definitely.

Oh. Three... brains.

No wait, four. Eyes.

*sigh* Nevermind.. people suck. Just sum it up to that.

[Becks]

Finally he stormed up to me and demanded to know why I wasn't responding to his whistle. I got into his face and snarled "BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING POODLE!!"

I was sure I was going to get fired because of it, but for some reason I never heard a word about it.

Either he didn't mention it to supervisory types, or they thought that you had a reason for your reply.

When someone holds the door for me, I don't necessarily assume it's because I'm female. After all, I hold the door for men and women alike. So, it's not really an assumption of weakness as much as a random act of kindness, if viewed like that.

But then, if someone is opening the door just because I'm a woman? Oh well; hey, I don't have to get the door now.

My feelings exactly.

I hold doors open for everyone. It's just polite. I was brought up with manners.

As these (and other) posts prove--no matter WHAT the senior set says, "young" people still have manners. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay us.

[Kitten in the box]

I HATE being whistled at like a dog too. PISSES ME OFF!! One time I was getting ready to go to lunch with a friend when a customer whistled at me like a dog. I ignored him and my friend said "I think he's trying to get your attention." I responded with "I know...but I am NOT a dog....who does he think I am Scooby Doo?" My friend and I both laughed and left. And when we came back did tha manager call us into the office to tell us about his complaint? Yes, he most certainly did...do I care? No I do not.

[Koliedrus]

I can't recall anyone giving me whistle/snap commands but a Suit recently irked my nads.

I'd been paged to Customer Service regarding a request for an item not carried in our store. If we can get it, I can find it.

While I'm in the process of answering one customer's questions, the Suit (yapping on his Bluetooth) leaves his place in line, walks up to me, reaches out, flips my nametag up at an angle so that he can read it better, addresses me by my first name and instructs me to "open up another register so I can get out of here".

My customer and I just stared at him for a few seconds. Her facial expression was slack-jawed. Mine was the angry-face I use on my kids when they haven't headed upstairs to brush their teeth by the third request.

"I'm sorry. I'm not a cashier", I half-lied since it's a task I'm able to perform. Not in this situation, thank you.

"All of our scheduled cashiers are running registers". I pointed in case my explanation was insufficient. "Oops! Looks like the lady buying a month of supplies just took your place in line".

I turned back to my customer, took down her information, left for a moment to locate a distributor and returned with news she'd been hoping to receive.

She used to shop elsewhere. Now when we see each other on a regular basis, we exchange a big-inside-joke-shit-eating-grin along with the standard pleasantries.

My Regulars are regulars for a reason.


As for holding doors, I've found that, for some odd reason, if you open the door for yourself, enter the establishment and THEN hold the door for those behind you, it's... well... different somehow. Different in a good way. I won't attempt any theories on the mental processes regarding this type of social interaction. It also helps to be a minimalist. Don't smile or make eye contact for more than half-a-second. People hate it if it seems like you're fishing for praise over you extraordinarily good manners. Just do it and go about your business while that little seed of pride in yourself sprouts.

Smiling and eye contact are acceptable if people insist on staring at you as if you're a superhero in mild-mannered mode.

[Gravekeeper]

It's the little things that people do without thinking that hold us back.

Now you're just being silly ;9 Being a gentlemen is not holding back gender equality. Its just courtesy.

That being said when I say holding the door I mean opening it and holding it thus allowing a lady / senior to go through ahead of you. I'll stop and hold the door a moment for anyone if they're behind me. But the "ladies / seniors" first rule is ingrained.

But opening and holding a door for a guy and letting him go first when you're not in a valet uniform or holding out a hat for change is going to get you a weird look from the guy 9 times out of 10 here.

[Koliedrus]

But opening and holding a door for a guy and letting him go first when you're not in a valet uniform or holding out a hat for change is going to get you a weird look from the guy 9 times out of 10 here.

True, true. However, now I can't think of a reason why I shouldn't begin competing with others for that "weird look".

In fact, no one else even has to play this game with me. I'm going to begin mentally noting the reactions of others as I hold doors for them.

The problem with these types of games is that one tends to forget that the game is always "on". In fact, I've just recalled that I'm way behind in the one where we attempt to get a mother to change her child's diaper by easing out a silent beer-and-pizza fart in the child's vicinity. After 6 months, I'm only up to 2.

[BusBus]

It's the little things that people do without thinking that hold us back.

Huh? How is holding a door open for a female a death blow to the feminist movement? If someone holds the door open for me, I appreciate it. I don't take it as a non-verbal command to go back to the kitchen and get dinner started. I have had so many doors get swung into my face that I find it a nice surprise when anybody holds the door open for me. I also offer the same courtesy to others. I am just nice that way.

Denying me a promotion because of my yayas? Expecting me to change my last name when I get married solely because I am the female component of the relationship*? Assuming that my lifeplan includes popping out kids and not working?* Yeah, those kind of attitudes hold us back. Holding the door open? Nah.


(*-I find nothing wrong with these decisions, as long as it's a decision that the woman made willingly, not because "she had to".)

[queenbb]

i truly hate people whistleing at me to gain their attention,

i flat out told a boyfriend of mine who would do this, he would come up to me and say i was whisteling for you, i would then say im not a (bleeping) dog i will not respond to that kind of crap. he had some sort of werid whistle call thing that he did with his brother since he was kind of a conspirousy therost who would often try to do things covertly as to not gain attention, so they had these bird like whistles that they would use.

he would do it every time and i would say the same thing.

i also hate the point and evil stare it happend at the shop once pretty funny story.

i was helping the guy i know as i need only a valve stem can i buy one from you guy. he would come in to get them so he could do something with his trailer tires or somthing i have no idea he comes in always right before closing.

well this time he was early and brought a friend with *gasp an actual tire that needed to be changed right away since his friends trailer was disabled on the side of the road with his family in the car, he tried to help them with his own massive collection of trailer tires but none of them worked, so he came to me cause he knew i would help him as to the best of my ability,

so im helping him and his friend, im squatting getting readings off the tire tread (per sag i have to get them) and conversing with him. im standing kind of close to the waiting room wall, im the only one there at the time. so i stand up and see this rather angry looking guy, he points at me, points at him self and then downward rather forcefully.

valve stem guy says whoa did that guy just give you the get your a$$ in here right now or im gonna spank you ala dad sort if thing, do you know him.

i reply, um no but yah he did.

so i stand up and walk in to the waiting room and ask if i can help him, he angerly asks if im the only one working, i reply yes i am

valve stem guy is about to come in and say your a jerk she is helping us but your next in line sort of thing, but the guy says no you cant help me and huffs off.

i walk back in to the shop shrug my shoulders, and say well that guy was a jerk im glad he left, they laugh cause i think that valve stem guy was about to try to come to my rescque if the guy was gonna start a scene.

weird i havent seen valve stem guy since then, he always did say that he needs to buy his valve stems in bulk on ebay, i guess he did. i hope he comes back he was a nice guy.