There have been several people I've had to say this to lately. Whats up with the crazies?
#1
Youngish lady comes in for abdominal pain. Now I understand that pain is uncomfortable, that's why its called pain. What doesn't allow me to believe that you're in genuine pain is your ability to climb up, stand on the litter(bed) and scream while jumping up and down, that you have pain.
#2
This applies to those screaming at me that they cant breathe. If you can scream, you can breathe. You may feel short of breath, but that's different. Please allow me to help you by asking you to calm down and attempt deep breaths. Gesturing the oxygen tubing away from your face also doesn;t help your case. Also, I already hate you.
#3
Coming in requesting to be admitted. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need to be in hospital for a few days to "get away" from family life. Insist theres something wrong with you, you get the million dollar work up only to be told that youre healthy and to leave.
Then you come back a few hours later proclaiming that the other doctor read your tests wrong and that you have x,y,z symptoms and need to be admitted.
Guess what? Theres NOTHING wrong with you. Go home. Youre discharged again on the same day.
Bonus points for : Asking to be wheeled out (when you walked in) and then more points when you ask what time change of shift is for the docs. Don't worry, we alerted the AM MD of your impendig appointment. He wasn't amused.
#4
Girl came in for intoxication (one of my pet peeves, Im not a drunkard baby sitter) and was literally in the ER for 12+ hours. She absolutely refused to stand and everytime she sat up would theatrically throw herself back onto the bed, stating that she was dizzy and couldnt walk.
We cant just discharge someone who literally will not walk, so she was allowed to stay, though she as moved to a hallway bed so we could use the room for someone who actually needed it. She rested for a few more hours and then decided that she was ok to be discharged.
She walked to the bathroom and then asked to be wheeled out to the front waiting room. Other nurse agreed just to get her out as soon as possible. She wheeled her out front to where I was triage nurse and said that some one was coming at 0400. It was now 0300. So, the girl sat in a wheelchair and slept.
Security goes to wake her up at 0415 and ask where her ride is. She acts like she has no idea whats going on. Security lets her know she is to be out @ 0600.
Now, our policy is anyone that's been allowed to stay overnight in the ER for whatever reason thats NOT related to their healthcare has to be OUT of the ER by 0600 before dayshift comes in. Its one of the few things we can do with people who have no where to go in the middle of the night. Whether they stay in a bed or in the waiting room is staff discretion (if its not busy). If youre a pain in the ass, you're going out front.
Anywho, she starts wheeling herself around the waiting room. Goes to the fountain, the bathroom in the chair. She wheels herself outside.
Now, its me, the registration clerk and a security guard at the front desk. We're all talking and joking around since theres not much else going on. C*, the security guard happens to be playing with some decorative baby corn that was on the desk.
So, we watch the girl wheel herself outside, thinking shes going to get some air, we pay no mind. But she keeps going. Shes in the ER driveway, passing the fountain and almost to street when we all realize whats going on so C runs after her.
C calls her by name, the girl doesnt stop.
C catches up to her and is kind of gesticulating at her, telling her she cant take the wheelchair from hospital property and etc. The patient tremulously asked "Whats that?" referring to C's hand.
C realizes she took the decorative corn with her and was shaking it in the patients direction.
I can only imagine what the patient thought was going to happen with that corn.
So, C wheels her back to the waiting room. She falls asleep again and is woken up @ 0559 and told to get out. Wouldn't you know, her legs miraculously worked and she walked out of the ER.
Say it with me everybody...
JUST STOP IT ALREADY
#1
Youngish lady comes in for abdominal pain. Now I understand that pain is uncomfortable, that's why its called pain. What doesn't allow me to believe that you're in genuine pain is your ability to climb up, stand on the litter(bed) and scream while jumping up and down, that you have pain.
#2
This applies to those screaming at me that they cant breathe. If you can scream, you can breathe. You may feel short of breath, but that's different. Please allow me to help you by asking you to calm down and attempt deep breaths. Gesturing the oxygen tubing away from your face also doesn;t help your case. Also, I already hate you.
#3
Coming in requesting to be admitted. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need to be in hospital for a few days to "get away" from family life. Insist theres something wrong with you, you get the million dollar work up only to be told that youre healthy and to leave.
Then you come back a few hours later proclaiming that the other doctor read your tests wrong and that you have x,y,z symptoms and need to be admitted.
Guess what? Theres NOTHING wrong with you. Go home. Youre discharged again on the same day.
Bonus points for : Asking to be wheeled out (when you walked in) and then more points when you ask what time change of shift is for the docs. Don't worry, we alerted the AM MD of your impendig appointment. He wasn't amused.
#4
Girl came in for intoxication (one of my pet peeves, Im not a drunkard baby sitter) and was literally in the ER for 12+ hours. She absolutely refused to stand and everytime she sat up would theatrically throw herself back onto the bed, stating that she was dizzy and couldnt walk.
We cant just discharge someone who literally will not walk, so she was allowed to stay, though she as moved to a hallway bed so we could use the room for someone who actually needed it. She rested for a few more hours and then decided that she was ok to be discharged.
She walked to the bathroom and then asked to be wheeled out to the front waiting room. Other nurse agreed just to get her out as soon as possible. She wheeled her out front to where I was triage nurse and said that some one was coming at 0400. It was now 0300. So, the girl sat in a wheelchair and slept.
Security goes to wake her up at 0415 and ask where her ride is. She acts like she has no idea whats going on. Security lets her know she is to be out @ 0600.
Now, our policy is anyone that's been allowed to stay overnight in the ER for whatever reason thats NOT related to their healthcare has to be OUT of the ER by 0600 before dayshift comes in. Its one of the few things we can do with people who have no where to go in the middle of the night. Whether they stay in a bed or in the waiting room is staff discretion (if its not busy). If youre a pain in the ass, you're going out front.
Anywho, she starts wheeling herself around the waiting room. Goes to the fountain, the bathroom in the chair. She wheels herself outside.
Now, its me, the registration clerk and a security guard at the front desk. We're all talking and joking around since theres not much else going on. C*, the security guard happens to be playing with some decorative baby corn that was on the desk.
So, we watch the girl wheel herself outside, thinking shes going to get some air, we pay no mind. But she keeps going. Shes in the ER driveway, passing the fountain and almost to street when we all realize whats going on so C runs after her.
C calls her by name, the girl doesnt stop.
C catches up to her and is kind of gesticulating at her, telling her she cant take the wheelchair from hospital property and etc. The patient tremulously asked "Whats that?" referring to C's hand.
C realizes she took the decorative corn with her and was shaking it in the patients direction.
I can only imagine what the patient thought was going to happen with that corn.
So, C wheels her back to the waiting room. She falls asleep again and is woken up @ 0559 and told to get out. Wouldn't you know, her legs miraculously worked and she walked out of the ER.
Say it with me everybody...
JUST STOP IT ALREADY
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