An Entire Week's Worth of Pain in a Single NIGHT.

[Broomjockey]

I'd like to add that if anyone was wondering why someone would be ordering hats at 3 in the morning, it may be in part because in the summer, large areas of the north get 24 hour sunlight. This makes it difficult to keep a normal schedule.

I'd also like to add that I believe it's got a population density of less than 1 person/km^2, so you're not likely to be able to do much OTHER than order things over the phone late at night.

Also, they were all raised by wolves, have never used a phone before, and firmly believe it is a magic speaking tube with a direct line to God...

[Kara]

Kara's Fuckwits.

Me: "Good morning, <company>"
SC: "Is this the <Kara's company> representative?" ( Oooh, big words )
Me: "No, sorry, this is <company>"
SC: "What's <company>?"
Me: "We handle the bill payment kiosks that you can pay your <Kara's company> bill at. But we're not <Kara's company>."
SC: "Oohh…ok, well what about changing the plans on my phone?"
Me: "…..that too would be <Kara's company>."

The last bit of my soul died just now. Thank you, oh random customer. May your days be filled with despair. And bees.

Kara's Fuckwits 2
( This sounded so much like one of Kara's calls that it was eriee. )

SC: "Hi, I lost my phone in my house somewhere. How do I get a new one free? Would there be a fee or anything?"

Yeah, that's definitely one of mine. I had a call yesterday: "So, I my phone doesn't work anymore because I got it wet and I need a new one. But I don't want the same phone because I didn't like this one anyway (she got it in December). So what phone can I get free with no contract?"

[Becks]

The book says extra large because the book IS NOT MADE OF MAGIC AND PIXIE DUST. It is not intimately tied to product availability and cannot remotely update itself according to our stock. It is mere paper and cannot possibly perform the miracles you're demanding of it.

Once again, disillusionment comes up and smacks me upside the head.

[Heksubah]

Uninformed

Me: "What system are you using?"
SC: "Oh, they ask me that every time and I never remember…."
Me: "Alright, I'll have to page a hardware tech for you so we can ID your system then. What's your phone number?"
SC: "Oh, what is my phone number…….<to background> hey what's our number here?"

Ok, maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. What DO you know about your place of employment? By some fantastical miracle you seem to have managed to find your way there. You also seem to know the store name and your own name. Either that or you managed to read your own shirt and name tag in the mirror in the bathroom you accidentally stumbled into thinking it was the sales counter. Perhaps you could do us both a favour and scrawl "<System it ended up being>" across your forehead in permanent marker.

If they work at someplace similar to where I do, then I can relate to that caller. The pharmacy where I work is a large call center. (Over 1/4 mile long, if you asks the techs that run from one end to another, and some of the pharmacists in my group actually walk that same path on breaks to get their exercise in for the day...) As a result we don't really have a direct number. We have customer service for the patients, a number for a couple of departments that handle special needs, a number for doctors to call answers in to pharmacists, and all things geared to handle our business needs. You cannot call a tech. The only number I have is the number to call in, or any of the numbers for patients listed above.

On top of all that, I do have a phone! I can make outbound calls. I just cannot receive any. If my family wants me for an emergency, they have to use my cell and hope that I notice it flashing wildly for me in silent mode. When I'm asked to give a callback number to some of our techs, I actually use that since I have no other number, or I give them my boss' number.

[Andara Bledin]

If my family wants me for an emergency, they have to use my cell and hope that I notice it flashing wildly for me in silent mode. When I'm asked to give a callback number to some of our techs, I actually use that since I have no other number, or I give them my boss' number.

Vibrate mode (if you have it) is great. That is, if the phone's vibrate feature is any good. My last cell was a cheap-o, free-with-service phone and it had a notable vibrate that shook in time to whatever the ring tone was. It made me jump a couple of times (I'd keep it in my front pocket of my jeans). The Razr, however, has one of the most pathectic vibrate modes I've encountered. I can't even feel it going off in my back pocket.

^-.-^

[JustADude]

The Razr, however, has one of the most pathectic vibrate modes I've encountered. I can't even feel it going off in my back pocket.

Well what do you expect from a phone too thin to have a decent gyro-thingie (whatever those offset rotating weights are) in it?

[Andara Bledin]

I've had smaller devices that had better vibration.

[get yer minds outta the gutter.... ye're blockin' my light!]

^-.-^

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Oh God. Does everyone in North Carolina talk like you? Because we only spoke for 2 minutes and I forgot everything I learned in 4th grade.

( With apologies to those of you in NC...but Christ this man was an inbred ditch beast. )

I can assure you, not all of us speak that there way. We do have our share of knuckle draggers though.

Just not sure how long they've been thawed out though . . .

[Jester]

All bow to me, for I am a miracle worker. For I have done that which they said was not possible.

I have gotten through an entire Gravekeeper post whilst eating chicken and pasta and drinking a beer, and I did so WITHOUT making a mess on my keyboard or anywhere else.

Praise be unto me for this miraculous feat.
Bow to me, mortals, for verily this act is proof that I, Jester, am the way, the truth, and the light.



Oh...and when you're done bowing? Bring me another beer. This one is about empty. Thanks.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Your posts always make me want to send you batches of homemade cookies.

[ForestDragon]

It doesn't matter what it is! You're WRONG. Now GO AWAY. Jesus Christ, people! I know I'm not Christian but taking Buddha's name in vain doesn't have the same impact! So Jesus CHRIST, people!

Hmmmmmmmm...

"Buddha's bloody booty-butt!" perhaps?