Why do they keep making our phone greeting LONGER??

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I have a general dislike for phone greetings in general (more on that in a minute), but I've been bothered because since I started, our phone greeting has been progressively longer.

It started with:

"Thank you for calling <store>, where you can get free games for your trades"

to

"Thank you for calling <store>, where you can trade in your games and reserve <new hot title>, this is CC, how can I help you?"

now it's

"Thank you for calling <store>, where you can trade in your games and pick up <new console A> or <new console B> , this is CC, how can I help you?"

At my usual pace of speech that greeting takes me about EIGHT seconds to get through, which is pretty quick. The problem is that eight seconds is a LONG time for someone to sit on the other end of the phone and listen through the spiel.

Corporate seems to think these greetings help to build business because they they make customers more aware of promotions and offers we are running.

Near as I can tell, these greetings (which my company has done for years now), haven't boosted business at all. Customers either ignore them, laugh at me for having to say all that stuff before I can help them, or get upset with me for wasting their time. I'm sure our sales wouldn't suddenly tank if we switched to:

"Thank you for calling <store>, this is CC, how may I help you?"

Although thank god they haven't had us start doing sales pitches in the greetings. Some places I call, I get: "Thank you for calling XYZ company, would you be interested in ordering <whatever hot new product we're hawking at the moment>?"

I've actually hung up on places like this before because I really hate being pitched to when I just called to ask a question.

[KellyHabersham]

We'd been encouraged to do that at Macy's, although we didn't have a set spiel to follow......mostly it'd be something like "Thank you for calling Macy's in Rowena, Texas. This is Bonnie in Fine Jewelry - how may I provide you with outstanding service today?".

[Bramble]

Because they have a group of people who work in a little office in Corporate. Their ENTIRE point of existance is to find more pointless things to make the little peons life more miserable and soul sucking. They also have a secret video camera by you that they can watch to guage how crazy you are currently being made due to their little edicts. This way they can decide what else to pull out of their rumps just in case you aren't miserable/crazy enough.

[Sableonblonde]

Yup, nothing more annoying than a long, extraneous greeting, whether you're the one saying it or hearing it! In my office we don't have a set spiel when it's our turn to be on the phones, at the most basic we have to identify our office, which is all I do, and it takes four words. Some of my co-workers use really long winded greetings, saying good afternoon, giving their name, asking how they can help. Even giving the shortest possible phone greeting I can get away with, I still have people cutting me off before I'm done saying it. That immediately puts the caller on my shit list. I would just pick up and say "Yeah, what?" or "hello" but sometimes you get other employees or supervisors calling and you never know who is going to be on the line when you answer

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I hate those needlessly long phone greetings as well. I'm don't give my business to a particular company just because of all the neat things they tell me I can do or buy with them.

And in the case of "how can I provide outstanding customer service?', that just sounds like the company is trying to convince itself.

Sad thing is, if you work in retail you have to recite these greeting every time without fail. You never know if the person calling in is a corporate suit prepared to let you hear about it if you don't give them the entire spiel.

[AccountingDrone]

That is why I loved my previous job, I dealt with our vendors, never the client base ... I answered my phone with my last name.

[fireheart]

I don't answer the phone at work (usually), but from what I do see and hear, our standard greeting is someting like this:

"Welcome to <company> <store name> this is <person> speaking."

And that's it.

[simplyanother]

We're apparently supposed to answer the phones with something like "Thank you for calling Our Location Glitter Hell blah blah blah custom framing is totally awesome and cheap and stuff, how may I direct your call"

I answer with "Glitter Hell, Our Location, How can I help you?"

Because I are a rebel! I REBEL I Tell you.

Or, lazy.

One of the two, definitely.

[Food Lady]

Because I are a rebel! I REBEL I Tell you. Or, lazy. One of the two, definitely.

Our operator is supposed to say, "Thank you for calling <name of mall we're in> <store>, this is <name>, can I help you find something?"

[mattm04]

Corp has the auto attendant do it's name/location/promo/press 1 for, etc. Our DM had us try a new way of answering last winter, keep in mind that the company/location are mentioned in the auto-attendant.

"Good morning/afternoon/evening and Thank you for calling the <location> <company> <department>, were are currently featuring <item> this week. I am <name> how may I assist you today?"

No one did it and we went back to "<dept> this is <person> speaking." Our Customer Service dept used "<company> custoemr service, this is <person> how may I help you?"

[EricKei]

Sad thing is, if you work in retail you have to recite these greeting every time without fail. You never know if the person calling in is a corporate suit prepared to let you hear about it if you don't give them the entire spiel.

Yup, this happened at our GameStore...I don't think we ever got burned or anything (they LOVED to call during XMAS rushes), but there were some close ones...for example:

If we said "thank you for calling GS this is <name> can I help you?", it was considered noncompliant, because we left out the "...where we buy and sell used games" bit.

Keep in mind that this is a company who will send in a secret shopper, give the person superlative customer service, and then automatically FAIL on their visit because it took us 6 seconds to greet the customer (and give them a sales pitch) from the time they came in, rather than 3 seconds.

==============

Where I work now -- small place, accounting firm. "Thank you for calling <company>, this is <name>, how can I help you?". Sadly, nearly half of the time we get a response, they ask if we're <accounting software company> -- Some just go ahead and give us their Customer number for <AS company>, which we don't use. my reply is generally along the lines of "Like I just said, this is <accountingfirm>, NOT <AS company>. Can I help you?"

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I hate those needlessly long phone greetings as well. I'm don't give my business to a particular company just because of all the neat things they tell me I can do or buy with them.

And in the case of "how can I provide outstanding customer service?', that just sounds like the company is trying to convince itself.

Sad thing is, if you work in retail you have to recite these greeting every time without fail. You never know if the person calling in is a corporate suit prepared to let you hear about it if you don't give them the entire spiel.

We have been told that if we do not say the greeting verbatim as it was sent to us in a memo that we will get a fail if corp does a spot check on it. The verbatim greeting is the most fake, robotic looking thing I've ever seen, it in no way resembles the way people speak and I'd feel like a moron saying it. My variation on it hits all the key points and I will gladly argue that with any corporate suit who tries to fail me for not using the proper greeting.

[mharbourgirl]

I got suckered into relieving our receptionist for lunch 3 days a week (not really a problem, I'd do anything for that sweetheart) , and I love our greeting.

"Good morning/afternoon, <company name>"

And our company name is a single 4-letter word.

Sweet.

[elsporko]

When I work the door at the bowling alley I'm suppose to give a long speil. Whats funny is that most people just walk past me if I give it, but if I just say hello and ask if they need help they will stop and talk to me, actually giving me time to try to convince them to buy more.

Of course 90% of the time the people who come up with greetings never worked in a position where they would have to use that greeting, but that doesn't mean they don't know more then everybody else.

[wraiths_crono]

I feel the pain on this one:

Our intro is kinda long, however I get away with shortening it its supposed to be:

Thank you for calling (Company) Tier 2 support (Enter CVOIP, FTTP, Team Lead if needed) can i get your account number, your name, agent id, good call back number, how can I provide you excellent customer service today?



however the ending speech: ok well I am happy I was able to fix (issue) before you leave the customers house please show them chl 411, their dvr features, video on demand, total home DVR, make sure their computers are all online and can surf, show them (help site), if they have VOIP go over their voice mail, their portal, all their star codes, and then mention that they will get a survey about your work, make sure they are very satisfied with your work, thanks again for calling (company) and for being a valued member of the (company) team!