How to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

• Page yourself over the intercom and don't try to disguise your voice.
• Insist that your e-mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
• Place your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
• Develop an unnatural fear of staplers
• Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everybody has kicked their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
• In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors".
• Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophet Jimmy."
• Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
• Dont use any punctuation
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
• Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
• Find out where your boss shops for clothes and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (Especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
• Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. ("If anybody needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, stall #3.")
• Place mosquito netting around your cubicle and play a tape of jungle sounds.
• When the money comes out of the ATM, yell "I WON! I WON! Third time this week!"
• Tell your boss "It's not the voices in my head that bother me. It's the voices in your head that do."
• Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"