What are the silliest things you have had customers ask for?

[MTNLaurelPoacher]

To NOT cut a down some weeds growing beside the road. These weeds were not on his property. I quote "It will look bad, and I'm showing my house today. Don't cut those weeds"

So I ran them over with a Honda Four Wheeler instead.

[roguesqd]

I've been to a Taco Bell that had fries on the menu. My family went on a trip to Virginia, and they had them at one there. I guess they were test marketing them, but I thought they added them to the regular menu, so the employees at the Taco Bell when we got back home gave us a weird look when we ordered it there

We have several combo Taco Bells around here, one also has a Pizza Hutt and the other has a KFC

I worked a couple holiday seasons in electronics stores (or other retailers that could conceivably carry electronics). Every year at least 3 people would come in asking for a male-to-male converter for an electrical outlet because they had strung the lights on the tree wrong-way-round and would rather drive to three or four (conservative estimate) stores looking for a product that doesn't exist than just re-string the lights.

Every year I, or a co-worker, would have to use small words to explain to these people why such a product doesn't exist and would actually be illegal to manufacture. (I guess they always assumed electricity was magic, or something.)

OMG I cannot tell you how many times I have had that converstaion when I worked in electrical, I finally just simplified it down to "that would leave a live fully energized metal plug on the other end capable of electrocuting/killing/shorting out or setting fire to something bad idea.

The funniest was when I had to spend over 30 mins to convince a lady not to buy an industrial grade all metal(yes even the blades) ceiling fan for her eight foot ceiling. The fan even said on it not to install it on a ceiling under 12 feet tall. I finally had to go maam on an eight foot ceing this fan would hang around 6.5 to 7 feet from the ground. I am 6 and a half feet tall and can reach to almost eight feet, this is basically a lawn mower you are wanting to hang up. Funniest part was just a few weeks prior Mythbusters had done an episode showing this w/ a skull, it didn't remove the head but gashed a nice chunk of flesh out

[Trayol]

My manager has tons of stories of people coming to our store thinking that it's the KFC two doors over and try to order various chicken meals.

He even told me once that someone thought we were the Applebees next door and he came to pick up his to go order.

[ArcticChicken]

Funniest part was just a few weeks prior Mythbusters had done an episode showing this w/ a skull, it didn't remove the head but gashed a nice chunk of flesh out

[OT] I have to say, if they'd tried just a little bit harder they could have taken that head right off. [/OT]

I've never had anyone ask me for anything really strange, just stupid. Like the new Harry Potter about 6 months before it came out.

[DenyRage]

i work at wendys, and i've been asked "whats the difference between chocolate and vanilla?", "do you have cake?", "what is a sour cream and chive potato?", "could you please not put cucumbers on my cheeseburger?", and "can i get mcNuggets?" oi.

[wolfie]

This one, though, takes the cake: (m=e, i=idiot)

I- Do you have karate-chopping wood?
M- *puts customer on hold for the purpose of LAUGHING MY ASS OFF*
M- What are the specifications of karate-chopping wood????
I- *In the background I could hear what sounded like an 8-year-old boy telling his mom--"it's for karate! duh! the kind you break and chop!"* It's the kind you break--you know.
M- Well, the only kinds of wood we carry are carving blocks and balsa.
I- Hmm... Balsa's that really soft stuff, isn't it? That wouldn't work...
M- *I really wanted to tell her, well your kid's not going to be able to chop through the real thing, I'm sure--balsa's probably up your alley...*
M- Ma'am, here's what you're going to do. You're going to contact your kid's instructor, ask them about it, and head to a hardware store.
I- Oh--I didn't think of going to a hardware store!
M-

A hardware store probably wouldn't have it - try a lumber yard. I'm guessing a foot-long piece of 1x12 should do the trick. Contacting the instructor is a MUST, because chopping the wood could be either ridiculously easy or an invitation to the emergency ward. You've probably seen how the wood breaks cleanly? My guess is that when you hit it, your arm is lined up with the grain, so that the wood breaks along the grain (wood broken that way breaks cleanly).

That customer is likely to set it up to chop across the grain. Wood broken that way has a lot of ragged edges, and takes a lot more effort. In this case, the wood probably wouldn't break - can't say the same for the kid's arm and hand.

[boffomusic]

whats the difference between chocolate and vanilla?

No difference. They're both the same flavor. We just call them 2 different things to screw with you.

--or--

You must not have done well in kindergarten.

-------------------------------------

Okay, here's another:

I used to work at a musical instrument retailer, I may as well tell you the name because A) I'll probably never work there again (moved to an area where they don't have any locations), and B) My story will be unclear without it. The company was Music & Arts Centers. In spite of the name, they only sell musical instruments, sheet music and other music-related supplies. So every once in a while someone would come in asking for art supplies, I would have to explain to them that when the company incorporated in the 1950s, they did carry a selection of art supplies, but by the time they decided to switch solely to music, they had built a reputation as Music & Arts Centers and decided to keep the name. The weird part was when I recommended the art supply store just one block down the road, it turned out said art supply store had recommended us (!?)

Not as bad as the fact that we inherited our main phone number from a company called KISS Systems. About once a month we would get a call from someone whose system had gone down and given them our number to call for tech support. Then they would get irate when I couldn't help them fix their computer, as if it was somehow my fault that we just happened to end up with the phone number. I eventually came up with the phone script that the whole store would use for these calls, "I'm sorry to inform you that KISS Systems seems to have disappeared, and we wound up with their old phone number when our store moved to this location. I'm sorry we can't help you, your best bet is probably to search for help on the internet."

[TruthHurts]

I used to work at a used bookstore and we had some guy come in and want to apply for a hunting license. I have no idea how someone looked at a sign reading Used Books and came to that conclusion.

[Arcade Man D]

"could you please not put cucumbers on my cheeseburger?"

Technically, a legitimate question. Pickles, as used in the vernacular, are pickled cucumbers. *flrrd once more*

Apparently, I've found out why we've been getting those Laser Tag calls. Yellow Book, quite frankly, sucks enormous amounts of sucky stuff, and has us listed as video game sellers and laser tag.

[cj1991]

We get some strange requests sometimes.

Many moons ago, we used to give away materials leftover after manufacturing (scrap pieces of materials, etc), but as anyone who works in manufacturing is well aware, environmental agencies have gotten much stronger over the years, and have cracked down on us because people would do idiotic things with what we gave them (put the stuff in water, where it can potentially leech pollutants). Therefore, we were advised to stop giving things to people - especially if they mention using it for those types of purposes. We ALWAYS get the argument "WELL you did this for me before!" or "You did it for so and so and they said you'd do it for me". No amount of "We were levied fines by Govt Agency X and we can't" will do. They've said "Well, we won't tell it was you" -they don't have to; the govt will figure it out.

We have also found other uses for leftover pieces in recent years that allow us to masively cut down on waste (we have gotten recognized in recent years by a number of environmental govt agencies), so we don't have much scrap to give (and what we have is small, and not what people want). We bale it, and are contracted with someone who comes and takes the bales from us. We have had numbers of people come in and when we tell them that we don't have what they're looking for, they say "Well we were out digging in your dumpster"........HELLO!!! And who gave them permission to be there? One idiot tore a bale apart looking for what he wanted. Jerk.

Some people think that just because we make an item, that we carry every possible conceivable item that goes with it. We carry some accessories - most related to maintenance of the item, but it's like saying that because Toys 'R Us carries baseballs and bats that they should also carry uniforms, scorebooks, bases, chalk to make lines, shoes, etc. I get a lot of requests for all kinds of things, and I keep a few phone numbers handy to give out - it's just easier that way.

On a similar line, our one division runs an ad in a holiday trade publication that is put out by an industry leader. Many many companies buy ad space in this "buying guide", and it goes to tons of people. Every year we get TONS of calls for not only our product, but anything and everything in that book, whether it appears on our ad or not. While most people are nice about it, I think some are embarrassed, and feel they need to take it out on us:

SC: I'd like to place an order out of this book.
Me: Sure (takes all address info, etc). What would you like to order?
SC: This DVD.......
Me: Sorry, that's not our item. We only run an ad in the magazine - we don't sell all the items.
SC: Ok, then this t-shirt.....
Me: Sorry, that's not our item. We only sell what is on our ad.
SC: Ok, the stuffed animal and a set of pins.....
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't carry those items.
SC: THEN WHAT GOOD IS THIS BOOK????
Me: I can help you order anything off our ad, but nothing else, I'm sorry.
SC: So you can't help me ?
Me: Go to the place where you got our phone number. Look at that ad only. Do you want to order anything off that ad?
SC: NO!
Me: Then you need to call the individual numbers on the ads selling what you want.
SC: STUPID BOOK! THANKS FOR NOTHING!

Yeah.......Merry Christmas to you too.........

[edible_hat]

Apparently, I've found out why we've been getting those Laser Tag calls. Yellow Book, quite frankly, sucks enormous amounts of sucky stuff, and has us listed as video game sellers and laser tag.

Something like that happened to my workplace twice in the same edition. We have an automatic car wash, we're listed under car detailing services. Also our ad appears in the financial advice section next to a completely unrelated company named [my store name] Financial Advice.

[Slytovhand]

Firstly, I went into a shop and was looking around for a new set of Tarot cards. I eventually gave up, and asked one of the shop assistants. The New Age store was just down from the one I was in - a Bible shop

Perhaps better, I found out after about a year or so, that the place I moved into used to be a brothel.... need I say more???


Slyt

[AngryCas]

Working at the petstore, a girl came up to me and asked me if I had any tampons. Seeing the look of omg-I-can't-move-or-something-bad-is-going-to-happen on her face, I said, I might have one in my purse if you need it, while grabbing for my purse that I kept under my counter.

She stepped back and looked at me in total shock.

"No! I meant for sale here!"

I step back, do a slow 360 turn, and say... "You do realize this is a pet store?"

[draftermatt]

[ot]I was once in the drive thru at KFC when my friend in the back seat yelled "TACO!" the girl sounded confused and said "no, we don't carry tacos"

She was laughing her ass off by the time we got up to her though.[/ot]

We get calls from people asking us if we make concrete stairs, or if we pour concrete, etc. (we make concrete floor panels) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_core_slab. Now, those questions aren't all that odd, and we can often recommend someone, but what gets me are the people who get annoyed that we don't make them or "Well so and so said to call you" That's great, still doesn't change anything.

Then there was the lady who wanted concrete stairs and needed them the next day. Yeah, not many people just have them laying around like wood at Lowes.

Then of course we get the people who come in and want to buy a truck load of sand or stone which we have laying around because it's a key ingrediant in concrete. They too get annoyed that we won't sell it to them. (And most come back late at night and take it anyway)

[Pagan]

I've never had anyone ask me for anything really strange, just stupid. Like the new Harry Potter about 6 months before it came out.

I can't count how many people were asking for the box set of the Lord of the Rings movies....before Return of the King came out in theaters.

Then there was the guy that thought it was horrible that JRR Tolkien wasn't giving any interviews. I had to inform him that, sadly, Mr. Tolkien had died in 1973.

Also had a circular conversation with a woman when she asked for the "first" Star Wars. Three of us couldn't get it out of her if she wanted the first one out in the theaters in the 70's or Episode I. I finally got it out of her when I asked her if it had Luke (at his whiney best) or Anakin as a little kid. Even then, she still looked confused.