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SOARing with Turkeys, Fall 2012 edition

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  • SOARing with Turkeys, Fall 2012 edition

    Well, it's that time of year again. Time for the open registration blues here at the community college.

    For our new members, SOAR means Student Orientation And Registration. All new students have to take a SOAR session to learn about our campus and how to register for classes.

    The week before classes start is open registration. While students can register themselves on Web Advisor, they can also get faculty assistance in "the pit", or by department after a SOAR session. /bg

    Some stories from this year . . . .

    I'm going to be a game designer!

    One day there were no health sciences students to advise, but the open registration pit was getting slammed, so my division chair asked us to do general registration.

    This was a young kid, just out of high school, who wants to get a degree in game design, but doesn't want to take the program we have in this at our CC. He wants to transfer to where he can get a 4 year degree in this (yes, there is a degree field in writing computer games).

    He starts telling me all about his program, but it's not to the point and I don't really care. He still has to take basic freshman courses. He wants to know what will transfer, and starts going on and on about the courses at Other School.

    Me: Most of your basic freshman courses will transfer to any other accredited school.
    SC: But you're not sure?
    Me: Well, there's no way I can know the transfer requirements of every school in the United States. But your basic English and math will transfer. Some other courses, it just depends on the school
    SC: I know, the course of study for my program is on Other Schools website. Can you pull it up and we can see what the equivalent courses are.
    Me: There's no way I can know what equivalent courses are for your degree program at another school.
    SC: But if you just look it up . . . .
    Me: No. I'm sorry. If you want an idea of what courses might be equivalent or what that school will accept from us, it's your job to call that school and find out. That's work you should do.

    He was a bit crestfallen, but he finally shut up and let me register him for basic courses for the General Science transfer option.

    I have a question . . . .

    A student stops me in the hall when I leave my computer to make a bathroom break (for it).

    SC: I have a question.
    Me: OK. What program have you applied to?
    SC: I need to know about this calculus course I registered for.
    Me: *That wasn't what I asked you, dammit!* I need to know what program you have applied for before I can help you, or what advisers you need to speak with. I advise nursing students.
    SC: I'm only taking calculus.
    Me: Then you need to go to open registration or talk to someone in the math department.
    SC: But can't you tell me anything about this course?
    Me: No. I teach nursing, not math.
    SC: So you can't answer my question.
    Me: *Is there an echo in here?* That's right.

    But I'm a CNA

    No sooner do I direct her on where to find Open Registration, another student approaches *Dammit! Tiny bladder about to burst!*

    SC: I have a question. I'm a CNA, and I'm going for nursing. Do I need to take all these courses for nursing?

    The student unfolds an advising sheet for our ADN program. It lists all the required courses students must take to earn a degree at our school: Anatomy and Physiology I and II, Englishes, Communications, General Psych, etc.

    Me: Yes, all of those courses are part of the nursing curriculum.

    SC: But I'm a CNA!

    Me: You must still take all those courses.

    She left looking very unhappy. Clearly, she thought that being a nurse was just a matter of learning additional procedures CNAs can't do.

    It isn't. Not by a long shot.

    The Purge

    About a week before school starts, the registration system purges all students who have not paid their tuition and fees from the system. We warn students of this when we register them. The benefit it has is students who couldn't get into a class will have another opportunity during Open Registration when those seats open up. Most will register themselves on Web Advisor, but some come to Open Registration. We tell them to come early.

    The line Monday morning switchbacked 3 times.

    One student came in very angry that she'd been purged from the system for non-payment.

    SC: Something is wrong with the system. When I went into Web Advisor to add a course, my whole schedule was gone!
    CW: It looks like you got purged for non-payment.
    SC: My Financial Aid hasn't been approved yet. I told them it might be a couple of weeks.

    Sorry, Charlie, those seats aren't going to be held for two weeks only to find out your FA has been denied because you applied too late.

    SC: I want to get back into those classes.
    CW: If you don't pay today, you will be purged again at 5 o'clock
    SC: But I can't pay for 2 weeks
    CW: Then I see no point in registering you and holding up seats from someone else.

    She wasn't pleased, but CW refused to re-register her since she couldn't pay today.

    Make up your mind!
    A pre-nursing student comes in for advising after SOAR with her boyfriend.

    Me: (after looking at her placement scores). OK, I can try to put you in the math course you need, and English. There's a couple of other classes you qualify for as well. Do you have a preference for campus?

    SC: *silence*
    Me: We have classes on this campus, City A Campus, and City B campus. Some classes are at the airport, but most students don't want to go there.

    SC: I don't know.

    Me; Well, let's see what's available. English 101 is available on MWF at 8, 9, 10, or 12 noon. Which would you like.

    SC looks at BF
    BF: Remember you wanted to work some.
    SC: I don't know. 8 seems awfully early.
    BF: How about 9am?
    SC: OK

    It went on like that. She looked to the BF for every answer to every question I asked her.

    Me: Do you have to be full time for financial aid?
    SC: I don't know. My mother is on her way.

    Oh good lord. SC didn't know what courses she needed, how she was paying for them, whether she wanted to be full time or not, and putting a schedule together was like pulling teeth from a hen.

    Mom finally shows up and says she didn't need to be full time. Good thing, I'm not sure this kid is up to full time college level work.

    Me: Have you downloaded the nursing application packet from the website

    SC:

    Me: *explains how to find it, and that the steps must be followed in order to apply.* Are you a CNA?

    SC: No.

    Me: You need to get a certificate from a state approved school. We have one, but other schools do as well.

    Finally she left.

    Oh my brain hurts. Two weeks of people who don't know what the want, don't know how to get it, can't make a decision, and want what the system can't provide.
    They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

  • #2
    Ok...even out of hs at my first college i didnt needthe handholding those ppl did. Owie, that stupidity burns!

    Comment


    • #3
      What's a CNA?
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth fireheart View Post
        What's a CNA?
        Certified Nursing Assistant
        Coffee should be strong, black and chewy! It should strip paint and frighten small children.

        My blog Darkwynd's Musings

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        • #5
          Quoth fireheart View Post
          What's a CNA?
          Sorry, should have spelled it out. Certified Nursing Assistant.

          CNAs give nurses a LOT of help: take vitals, help feed, dress, transport, in some cases can even do some limited procedures (simple dressing changes or put in a catheter).

          More and more nursing schools are requiring CNA certification because we're taking those skills out of the nursing curriculum so we have time to teach the real skills of being a good nurse: identifying and solving problems.
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

          Comment


          • #6
            Ouch ouch ouch the stupiddddd it burnsssssssssss!!! *hands Panacea a plate of cookies* <- on behalf of the less stupid half of the world
            Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

            This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
            What's the difference?
            We're allowed to tell you "no".

            Comment


            • #7
              Given that so many of these students think they want to be nurses, I weep for my profession.
              They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Panacea View Post
                She left looking very unhappy. Clearly, she thought that being a nurse was just a matter of learning additional procedures CNAs can't do.

                It isn't. Not by a long shot.
                What, you mean it isn't just handing out pills and flirting with hot doctors? 'Cause blood is, like, icky and stuff.
                "If you pray very hard, you can become a cat person." -Angela, "The Office"

                Comment


                • #9
                  That wannabe game designer guy is not going to make it. 80% of people that want to go into that industry want to design and they need WAY fewer designers than programmers and artists. Anyone that wants to design better a) know a lot of people in the industry they can hit up for jobs, or b) have enough money behind them to start an indie company.

                  Given that so many of these students think they want to be nurses, I weep for my profession.
                  All the actual nurses I've met have been amazing people. The nursing students, however, are downright terrifying. Halfway through elementary Algebra and one guy is going "Um ... can you explain what a variable is again?" And the woman going for a Certified Nurse-Midwife credential who couldn't pass Developmental Psych. Even though she'd been assisting a midwife already.
                  Last edited by manybellsdown; 08-16-2012, 03:01 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ooof, Fall 2012 seems to be hair yanking speshul. With a capital Shul...or something.

                    Panacea, if it makes you feel any better, we're getting a lot of similar stupidity at the bookstores, too, at least at mine. I keep meaning to sit and write it all out, but the cursor, it blinks at me, and I'm just left staring...

                    As for the student who needed people to make the decisions for her... Is her BF and mama gonna take her to the hospital and follow her around, and decide what meds her patients need...?

                    >.<

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      All the people waiting until the Eleventh Hour makes me think of what was all over the local talk radio news tidbits today -- This was the final day for people in a nearby Parish to challenge their property tax assessments in person with the Assessor. They have had two weeks to do drop in and do this anytime (and it was announced well in advance)...So, naturally, it was a warzone today, with lines going out the door. One guy pulled a Star Wars and arrived at 3:30 in the morning, camping outside of the building itself.

                      Some of the sound bytes from different people/words to the effect of:

                      "I shouldn't have to wait in these long lines"

                      "I waited in a line outside, then in a line to see the clerk, then in a line to get to the courtroom [where the assessor was dealing with the stuff in person], and now I've gotta wait again!"

                      "I missed work yesterday for this, and I'm probably going to miss it again today! I have clients to meet with!" (if you're in a business with "clients", maybe you should be better at managing your time...)

                      And, my favorite: "It's just human nature to wait until the very last minute..."

                      --------

                      Ya know, I really hope the whiners had all of their paperwork ~_~
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Panacea View Post
                        CNAs give nurses a LOT of help: take vitals, help feed, dress, transport, in some cases can even do some limited procedures (simple dressing changes or put in a catheter).
                        OK, so it sounds a little bit like Enrolled nurses down here. Enrolled Nurses can do all of those things mentioned above, although there are a few things they can't do, which has currently escaped my memory. Recently they've introduced a course for enrolled nurses so that by the time they've finished, they can dispense medications as well. Some enrolled nurses in public hospitals can take some pathology things, as long as they're supervised by registered nurses.

                        (some of this is coming first-hand from my aunty who is an enrolled nurse, but specialises in aged care)

                        ETA: the main difference between enrolled nurses and registered nurses though, is the amount of training they do. Enrolled nurses go through TAFE (trade schools/community colleges), while registered nurses go through university
                        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                        Now queen of USSR-Land...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
                          As for the student who needed people to make the decisions for her...
                          I'm putting all the blame on mama for that one. At least the boyfriend seemed to be trying to get her to think for herself.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                          • #14
                            Quoth lupo pazzesco View Post
                            As for the student who needed people to make the decisions for her... Is her BF and mama gonna take her to the hospital and follow her around, and decide what meds her patients need...?

                            >.<
                            I have another student whose mother is very controlling. My friend J at the CC (who also works with me in hospice) built a schedule for this girl when she first started the program.

                            The mother came in the next day and demanded we change it. It didn't work for MOM (the student was fine with it).

                            Unfortunately, when you actually start the nursing courses, the schedule is what it is. You either work with it or drop out.

                            Mom was not happy.

                            Quoth fireheart View Post
                            OK, so it sounds a little bit like Enrolled nurses down here.

                            ETA: the main difference between enrolled nurses and registered nurses though, is the amount of training they do. Enrolled nurses go through TAFE (trade schools/community colleges), while registered nurses go through university
                            Based on your description that sounds more like Practical/Vocational Nursing here in the states (two names for the same thing).

                            CNAs can't give medications, can't do assessments, can't take doctor's orders, can't make any independent decisions at all. While they do a lot for us (and do very hard work indeed), they are helpers, not health care providers.
                            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Wow, those are some stunned first year students. My favorite was the girl who didn't know ANYTHING.

                              Quoth Panacea View Post
                              About a week before school starts, the registration system purges all students who have not paid their tuition and fees from the system..
                              Epically happy this is not the situation with my university. Due to a pile of issues and miscommunications with National Student Loan Services I still haven't gotten my funding for spring and summer sessions. My FINAL for my last summer course is on Monday.

                              The frustrating thing is that I can't register for new courses until my tuition is uptodate. One of my courses for September got cancelled in May, so I can't fill the empty slot on my timetable until my student assitance comes in. Fall semester starts September 5th.
                              Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                              Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                              Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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