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So, let's all take a look at what November hath wrought on us and October hath dumped on us on it's way out the door.....
Dude, What's My Car Look Like?
Yet another gentleman came in wanting to know if we'd towed his car and was unable to give us any information about it. Didn't know what make model or COLOR it was or where he'd parked it, aside from somewhere in town.
I'll never quite understand how this works, even though I've seen it happen multiple times. Surely you weren't abandoning the car, you WERE planning on using it again? Right? You obviously know how to identify it SOMEHOW, since you keep finding your way back to it, but you don't even know it's COLOR?
How are you finding it? By scent? Magnetic signature? Feeling for a certain dent pattern? Trying the key in every car on the block til you hit the right one?
Give me something to work with here.
Oh, it's not your car? You borrowed it? Doesn't matter, same questions still apply.
If you can't answer them, call your buddy and ask THEM what it looks like.
You rented it from your sister, and don't want to call her and tell her you can't find it?
Ah. I see. Now your current quandary makes sense, you're still annoying me, but at least there's a reason behind it. Is your sister by chance and Amazonian warrior? If so, it's quite possible her car is invisible and you'd be forgiven for not knowing the details, otherwise, you're a grade "A" charity case in the brain wave department.
Anti-Stealth
About the worst thing you can do if you owe $250 in unpaid parking tickets is illegally park, again, in a dark alleyway, at night, and turn your 4 way flashers on.
As a public service, I'm going to email that old HS friend of mine who now works for the Ford Motor Co. and ask if maybe by 2016, they could change the symbol on the hazard lights button from the safety triangle to a pic of a little tow truck towing a little car away, just to try and teach people the futility of doing this?
Nah the futility of others is not only fun, but profitable!
The use of the "come and get me" lights alone ensures a tow, but, a bounty on your head too? You bet we're bumping you to the top of the "priority response" list with the possible exception of something that's on fire.
That's just BEGGING us to get you.
You might as well walk through a rough neighborhood while fresh, crisp, $500 bills fall from your overstuffed pockets, while dressed like Uncle Moneybags from the Monopoly game, the result is going to be the same, you're gonna end up broke at the end of it all.
Bursting into tears on the phone when informed you don't get your car back until you cough up $380 doesn't help, either.
Try a different approach next time, like paying your tickets when you get them, or , NOT getting them to start with.
Cliff Notes Version
Guy comes in for his car, seemed like a nice enough fellow...
-Why did I get towed?
-You didn't have a permit for that lot.
-But the sign I parked in front of said "24 hour parking"
Well, yes it did. On the FIRST line. Know what the second line under it said?
"for tenants only"
Know what the line under that said?
"violators towed"
And the one under that?
"Friendly Neighborhood Towing XXX-XXX"
You have to read the WHOLE sign, chum. Not the abridged version, the director's cut version, and you can't just stop reading when it suits you.
I dare you to try that argument out on the next cop who pulls you over, arguing that the first line on the last sign you passed clearly said "SPEED".
Go on, try it! Has the same chance of working with him as it did with me! As in: It'll probably deplete your wallet to the tune of another three figures, since your attempt to speed read the signs just cost you $130
The Problem With Problems is that They are Rarely a Problem
A young lady walks into the shop
- I'm here for my car
- Okay, that will be $130
- That's going to be a problem,
- Uh.... ...
- I only have $60.
- I need $130 or the car can't be released
-But that's a problem....
Uh, no it's not. At least not for ME. And you even called ahead to see if we had it! We quoted you a price! That's why I knew which one it was! But now it's a problem??
Not sure how that "problem" got resolved, had to leave on a call and left the "problem child" to the on-duty manager, she must've cajoled the person who gave her the ride in to pay for it, was gone when I got back.
Later, that same day.... we find an SUV on the lawn of a rental house. You can't do that, so we hook it.
Immediately, someone comes running out asking why we're towing his buddy.
"You can't park on someone's lawn"
"But we live here, and we don't have a problem with it!"
Yeah, I kinda figured, since you DID it.
You don't have a problem? Good to know, but guess what? Your landlord, who OWNS the house, and the LAWN, he DOES have a problem with that! See where we're going with this?
Mel Brooks once said that tragedy is when you cut your finger, and comedy is when someone else falls into an open manhole and dies.
Turns out he was apparently pretty close to the definition of "problem" as it pertains to the self-entitled and oblivious, wasn't he?
It's only a problem when it inconveniences ME!
P.S. - Getting your car towed is quite the inconvenience, isn't it?
Donny Donots, that you? You Outta the Joint Already?
It had to be, if not him, a distant relation. Because he did everything wrong.
EV-RE-THING
Motor Clubs will only cover basic services to YOUR vehicle. By this they mean it must be registered IN YOUR name, and currently up to date on it's insurance and state registration requirements. Your plan only covers YOUR car, it doesn't cover the cars of friends, families, old Army pals, strangers, foxes, boxes, shoats, goats, gnus, penguins, people, warthogs, and ESPECIALLY rabbits!
And, unless you bought the really super-expensive coverage (and paid the accordingly super-expensive premiums) they only cover you for the bare basics (jump starts, tows, out of gas) and only if you stay on public/paved roads. They don't cover you once the pavement ends or if you go so far off the grid even your GPS is a bit
puzzled as to where you are.
And this is all laid out when you sign up, you had to put your signature on something that said you understood these regulations before you got their little card to stick in your wallet.
Well, at least I'd like to THINK they explained it to you, and I'd like to THINK that you listened, but who am I kidding? You were probably counting the ceiling tiles, or contemplating a world without cats, or wondering exactly where you left Grandma on that last road trip, she was in the car when you started out, but haven't seen her since...
See what happens when I try to have faith in humanity?! No matter how patient and hopeful I am, you keep on disappointing me time after time after time after time, it's like being a fan of the New York Jets....
Why do I know you didn't listen? Because you called us out for a tow at your house the other day, and upon arriving we found that it wasn't the one covered under your plan, which was sitting happily in the driveway.
You wanted us to tow the one in the backyard....
- A vehicle that had no current insurance
- No registration
- No license plate
- Was OFF pavement, way off.
- And in fact was smashed against a tree
Seems it was a "parts car" you bought some time ago to provide the occasional spare widget and wingnut for your daily driver. And at some point in the last 24 hours, you either pulled something vital off it's brake system, or that particular component finished rusting into orange mist. Either way, the brakes failed and it rolled away, down your driveway, down through your backyard, and into the treeline.... and you thought somehow you'd get your motor club to cover that...
Survey says........ "X!"
You really think you can get that one by us? By intentional scam or just plain not knowing any better? Unh-uh! The only way that bucket of bolts gets back to the top of the hill is you pay the cash winch-out rates, $80 an hour, or any portion thereof.
To no real shock, they declined and decided to just leave the heap where it was.
We returned to the garage, called the Motor Club, explained what happened and got our meager GOA fee out of it for what was otherwise a wasted hour of driving out and back. (and I don't fault them for this one, they have to in good faith assume when the customer calls for help, it's going to be for one of their covered cars, and in this case, the parts car was the same make/model/year, so unless they took the frankly unnecessary step of confirming the VIN, they had no idea it wasn't the "right" car.)
And this isn't the first nor last time someone will try to "sneak" an uncovered car through their motor club, and they always seem shocked when we won't go along with it. Hey, we don't like Da Man (TM) anymore than you, but, when we send that paperwork in for reimbursement, and Da Man (TM) realizes the VIN on the car we towed doesn't tally with the VIN on file, who get's it up the backside THEN? Not you, and not the club, it's US! So please don't try and make us a pawn in your game, you may think you're very cleverly fighting for the little guy, but in reality, all your doing is keeping the rest of us from having nice things.
And this is one of the few clubs we LIKE! Piss THEM off? Aw hell nawwwwww!
Dude, What's My Car Look Like?
Yet another gentleman came in wanting to know if we'd towed his car and was unable to give us any information about it. Didn't know what make model or COLOR it was or where he'd parked it, aside from somewhere in town.
I'll never quite understand how this works, even though I've seen it happen multiple times. Surely you weren't abandoning the car, you WERE planning on using it again? Right? You obviously know how to identify it SOMEHOW, since you keep finding your way back to it, but you don't even know it's COLOR?
How are you finding it? By scent? Magnetic signature? Feeling for a certain dent pattern? Trying the key in every car on the block til you hit the right one?
Give me something to work with here.
Oh, it's not your car? You borrowed it? Doesn't matter, same questions still apply.
If you can't answer them, call your buddy and ask THEM what it looks like.
You rented it from your sister, and don't want to call her and tell her you can't find it?
Ah. I see. Now your current quandary makes sense, you're still annoying me, but at least there's a reason behind it. Is your sister by chance and Amazonian warrior? If so, it's quite possible her car is invisible and you'd be forgiven for not knowing the details, otherwise, you're a grade "A" charity case in the brain wave department.
Anti-Stealth
About the worst thing you can do if you owe $250 in unpaid parking tickets is illegally park, again, in a dark alleyway, at night, and turn your 4 way flashers on.
As a public service, I'm going to email that old HS friend of mine who now works for the Ford Motor Co. and ask if maybe by 2016, they could change the symbol on the hazard lights button from the safety triangle to a pic of a little tow truck towing a little car away, just to try and teach people the futility of doing this?
Nah the futility of others is not only fun, but profitable!
The use of the "come and get me" lights alone ensures a tow, but, a bounty on your head too? You bet we're bumping you to the top of the "priority response" list with the possible exception of something that's on fire.
That's just BEGGING us to get you.
You might as well walk through a rough neighborhood while fresh, crisp, $500 bills fall from your overstuffed pockets, while dressed like Uncle Moneybags from the Monopoly game, the result is going to be the same, you're gonna end up broke at the end of it all.
Bursting into tears on the phone when informed you don't get your car back until you cough up $380 doesn't help, either.
Try a different approach next time, like paying your tickets when you get them, or , NOT getting them to start with.
Cliff Notes Version
Guy comes in for his car, seemed like a nice enough fellow...
-Why did I get towed?
-You didn't have a permit for that lot.
-But the sign I parked in front of said "24 hour parking"
Well, yes it did. On the FIRST line. Know what the second line under it said?
"for tenants only"
Know what the line under that said?
"violators towed"
And the one under that?
"Friendly Neighborhood Towing XXX-XXX"
You have to read the WHOLE sign, chum. Not the abridged version, the director's cut version, and you can't just stop reading when it suits you.
I dare you to try that argument out on the next cop who pulls you over, arguing that the first line on the last sign you passed clearly said "SPEED".
Go on, try it! Has the same chance of working with him as it did with me! As in: It'll probably deplete your wallet to the tune of another three figures, since your attempt to speed read the signs just cost you $130
The Problem With Problems is that They are Rarely a Problem
A young lady walks into the shop
- I'm here for my car
- Okay, that will be $130
- That's going to be a problem,
- Uh.... ...
- I only have $60.
- I need $130 or the car can't be released
-But that's a problem....
Uh, no it's not. At least not for ME. And you even called ahead to see if we had it! We quoted you a price! That's why I knew which one it was! But now it's a problem??
Not sure how that "problem" got resolved, had to leave on a call and left the "problem child" to the on-duty manager, she must've cajoled the person who gave her the ride in to pay for it, was gone when I got back.
Later, that same day.... we find an SUV on the lawn of a rental house. You can't do that, so we hook it.
Immediately, someone comes running out asking why we're towing his buddy.
"You can't park on someone's lawn"
"But we live here, and we don't have a problem with it!"
Yeah, I kinda figured, since you DID it. You don't have a problem? Good to know, but guess what? Your landlord, who OWNS the house, and the LAWN, he DOES have a problem with that! See where we're going with this?
Mel Brooks once said that tragedy is when you cut your finger, and comedy is when someone else falls into an open manhole and dies.
Turns out he was apparently pretty close to the definition of "problem" as it pertains to the self-entitled and oblivious, wasn't he?
It's only a problem when it inconveniences ME!
P.S. - Getting your car towed is quite the inconvenience, isn't it?
Donny Donots, that you? You Outta the Joint Already?
It had to be, if not him, a distant relation. Because he did everything wrong.
EV-RE-THING
Motor Clubs will only cover basic services to YOUR vehicle. By this they mean it must be registered IN YOUR name, and currently up to date on it's insurance and state registration requirements. Your plan only covers YOUR car, it doesn't cover the cars of friends, families, old Army pals, strangers, foxes, boxes, shoats, goats, gnus, penguins, people, warthogs, and ESPECIALLY rabbits!
And, unless you bought the really super-expensive coverage (and paid the accordingly super-expensive premiums) they only cover you for the bare basics (jump starts, tows, out of gas) and only if you stay on public/paved roads. They don't cover you once the pavement ends or if you go so far off the grid even your GPS is a bit
puzzled as to where you are.
And this is all laid out when you sign up, you had to put your signature on something that said you understood these regulations before you got their little card to stick in your wallet.
Well, at least I'd like to THINK they explained it to you, and I'd like to THINK that you listened, but who am I kidding? You were probably counting the ceiling tiles, or contemplating a world without cats, or wondering exactly where you left Grandma on that last road trip, she was in the car when you started out, but haven't seen her since...
See what happens when I try to have faith in humanity?! No matter how patient and hopeful I am, you keep on disappointing me time after time after time after time, it's like being a fan of the New York Jets....
Why do I know you didn't listen? Because you called us out for a tow at your house the other day, and upon arriving we found that it wasn't the one covered under your plan, which was sitting happily in the driveway.
You wanted us to tow the one in the backyard....
- A vehicle that had no current insurance
- No registration
- No license plate
- Was OFF pavement, way off.
- And in fact was smashed against a tree
Seems it was a "parts car" you bought some time ago to provide the occasional spare widget and wingnut for your daily driver. And at some point in the last 24 hours, you either pulled something vital off it's brake system, or that particular component finished rusting into orange mist. Either way, the brakes failed and it rolled away, down your driveway, down through your backyard, and into the treeline.... and you thought somehow you'd get your motor club to cover that...
Survey says........ "X!"
You really think you can get that one by us? By intentional scam or just plain not knowing any better? Unh-uh! The only way that bucket of bolts gets back to the top of the hill is you pay the cash winch-out rates, $80 an hour, or any portion thereof.
To no real shock, they declined and decided to just leave the heap where it was.
We returned to the garage, called the Motor Club, explained what happened and got our meager GOA fee out of it for what was otherwise a wasted hour of driving out and back. (and I don't fault them for this one, they have to in good faith assume when the customer calls for help, it's going to be for one of their covered cars, and in this case, the parts car was the same make/model/year, so unless they took the frankly unnecessary step of confirming the VIN, they had no idea it wasn't the "right" car.)
And this isn't the first nor last time someone will try to "sneak" an uncovered car through their motor club, and they always seem shocked when we won't go along with it. Hey, we don't like Da Man (TM) anymore than you, but, when we send that paperwork in for reimbursement, and Da Man (TM) realizes the VIN on the car we towed doesn't tally with the VIN on file, who get's it up the backside THEN? Not you, and not the club, it's US! So please don't try and make us a pawn in your game, you may think you're very cleverly fighting for the little guy, but in reality, all your doing is keeping the rest of us from having nice things.
And this is one of the few clubs we LIKE! Piss THEM off? Aw hell nawwwwww!
) makes even a bit of sense. Even with my own body poisoning my mind, I just .. can't at all. Which is why I like seeing one of his posts.. because it is a challenge. Try to use mental gymnastics to even remotely come close to logic as I can. So far the closest I've come would be with Logic on one side of the grand canyon and ew's on the other. But not across from each other.. oh no, I am not THAT good. Not only are they on opposite sides, but if the Canyon runs east to west .. logic is the furthest east point, and EW's on the furthest west point.
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