Words that make you cringe

[Chazzie]

"what kind of donuts do you have?"
Always 30 different kinds. That you're expecting me to name off over drive thru. When you don't actually want the answer to that question, you just want to know if we have [x] donut. Which I can confirm after you inevitably either order it after not hearing it in my giant list of donuts, or if you dejectedly say, "you don't have [x] donut? "

"Swirl or shot...? It doesn't matter."
Yes it does. One is a sugary syrup. one is a sugar free flavoring. What you're saying is you don't care if your coffee tastes wrong or not. And I guarantee, you care. And I'll be remaking it in two seconds.

"Uhm, I wanted that iced."
Yes, you made that very clear after I repeated your order back to you, charged you 60 cents less for it to be hot, made it, and then tried to hand it to you. My kingdom for an ice upcharge button.

[lvsssycat]

I manage a small diner.

"You look understaffed"

Yes, we staffed for what the previous years have shown to need. It's just unusually busy tonight and my staff and I are working our asses off.

The last week has been unusually busy at my place and I've heard this multiple times lately. I hope tonight is quiet.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

"I'm not usually one to complain but..."

"They make you work on holidays?"

"I lost the receipt, can't you just look it up for me?"

[chimera]

"Hmm, let me think. I'm not sure how much I need." (while shifting the fabric between the 1/4 yard and 3/8 yard line). Here's where I'm a bit judgmental, but it's so cheap to deliberate down to the inch about how much fabric you want. It's worth the extra fifty cents to a couple bucks to have maybe a 1/4 yd safety net in case you need to square up an edge or miscut a pattern piece.

"Do you sew?" Oh boy.

"Do you have any more x? When will you have more?" This usually entails a wild goose chase around the store to find x, wherever it may have been shoved or thrown, and/or having to disappoint them with the news that x seems to be discontinued with only trivial amounts remaining at other locations out in BFE. When will we get more? No way of knowing. Sorry.

"What can I use to glue/tape/staple this together?" Learn to sew, you lazy ass.

"I'm going to make a tie blanket" Why is there so much fleece in a store in the south. It makes no sense. How can people stand to cut hundreds of notches into thick, pilly, sweaty fleece yet balk at the idea of sewing a few straight seams with material that is at least a bit breathable? So many ugly prints. So many hideous neons. And what can you make with it? Like one thing. A damn tie blanket.

"Is there anyone here that could sew this for me?" talk about putting the cart before the horse. Do you buy a bunch of random computer parts then ask if anyone is around to turn it into a desktop tower for you? A pile of lumber then seek out a contractor? Some groceries and 'can anyone cook a dinner out of this for me?'

I still consider myself an ambitious beginner as far as sewing goes, but I'm a bit of a snob about lazy DIYing.

[PenquinzRule]

Kanalah, I was watching a cool new show "Handcrafted in America" and thought of you.

They were featuring a quilt artist who not only does awesome quilting using only heirloom patterns, she hand dyes the material using natural plants/trees, which she grows herself. She mentioned that one of her quilts has sold for as high as $7000. The narrator mentioned "That's because this is NOT just a blanket, this is a work of art that just happens to also keep you warm."

[Thana]

"Give me your/the/a.."
"I'd like the 4 for $4 please.. -me asking if they want spicy or regular nuggets- ..Uhmm..what?"
Customers actually trying to create their own 4 for $4 instead of either asking me what makes up the deal or actually reading the giant sign behind me.

I hate the following scenario...
Me: "Is that everything?"
Customer: "Yep."
Me: "Alright your total is.."
Customer: "Oh wait..add X, y, Z and uhmm... A"

"How much is your 4 for $4?"

"Do you have -insert other fast food restaurant item here- ..Why not?"

Oh and my most favorite "I'm a veteran. I get the 10% discount. Make sure you give me the 10% discount." I have one customer that says that to me every single time and I hate it.

[WishfulSpirit]

I know where you work Thana. I went there for a late lunch yesterday after a crazy-go-nuts-university day at work where I was so stressed I pretty much didn't eat all day. That meal tasted SOOO good.

[wolfie]

"I hope it will fit!"

Means I'll see fifteen clowns pile out of the SC's vehicle before I fit whatever big & bulky item they just bought into it.

Also, just because someone has a big car doesn't mean it can carry a bulky item. In a previous career, a co-worker and I were on a business trip, and since we arrived at different times we had separate rental cars (Mazda 626 for him, Ford Escort for me - for some reason I had gone with the 5-door instead of the 3-door I usually got). The 626 was a larger car than the Escort.

We had to ship 7 large cartons back to home office, which involved transporting them from where they were to the shipping department at a satellite site of the customer's location. Of the 7, only one would fit in the Mazda (not "one at a time" - only 1 was a suitable size to be able to get it into the car). Any 2 at the same time would fit in the Escort (love hatchbacks).

[notalwaysright]

*thread resurrection*

"You should get that fixed." Really? Oh goodness, we would certainly not have fixed it but now that you TOLD US to fix it we'll wave our magic wand and it will be fixed instantly!


When it doesn't look like any other customer is waiting for the cutting counter and I say "Are you number 10?" or whatever the next number is, and they say "I can be!"

No. That is not an acceptable answer. Either you are holding number-freaking-10, or you aren't. Don't chuckle about how silly it is for me to make you take a number when you don't think anyone else is waiting. You'd be pretty upset if you pulled a number, and nobody called your number. It's not funny, we are fairly regularly yelled at by people who don't understand this system, so don't roll your eyes at me.

[chimera]

"Do you have any coupons?"
"Where do I get coupons?"
"Can you show me how to get them?"

I used to go out of my way to let people know about coupons and discounts, especially since the products are heavily marked up, often double MSRP. Weird, I know. Now I just don't care. I hate having to show an SC how to use their own phone and then explain how the coupons work even though the rules and exceptions are all there right on the damn coupon. Suppose an SC sees a coupon for half off bananas: "I can use this on apples, right?" No. You thickheaded fool. Some devious SCs will purposely ask tons of questions about discounts and coupons (even though they're regulars) in hopes you will trip up or they can use something you said out of context to whine an extra discount out of the poor cashier because they were "told" they could have "x."

It's literally the opposite of my job to help people figure how they can spend less money. After having a few Cs who are usually nice to me turn salty when they are confused or can't have their way...I just give up on being nice. I'm pleasant, I'm polite, but I'm not your buddy to help you game the system.

[CyberLurch]

"I bought a computer at a yard sale/garage sale/flea market/charity store..."

When I repaired computers for a living, this phrase was usually the prelude to much heartburn. It usually translated to, "I bought some hideously obsolete piece of shit rig to try to get to teh pr0n, but it don't work so good, and my repair/upgrade budget is essentially pocket change...."

[catcul]

"Internal Candidate"

If you ever hear those two words while looking for a job, you know you don't have a shot at that job.

[MoonCat]

"I hope I'm not too late for (special section), I really need to get this ad in there!"

ALWAYS said at least 24 hours past the deadline. As in, hard deadline. As in, they're printing it now or will be later tonight.

[XCashier]

"Hmm, let me think. I'm not sure how much I need." (while shifting the fabric between the 1/4 yard and 3/8 yard line).

Then why the hell didn't you do any research / read the pattern / take measurements?! If I had a dollar for every idiot customer who couldn't be bothered to do basic research or take measurements and expected me to know how much fabric they needed, I could retire.

"Do you sew?" Oh boy.

In the fabric store, "do you sew" usually means "can I get you to sew this for me?"

"What can I use to glue/tape/staple this together?" Learn to sew, you lazy ass.

This x 1000! They want to glue/tape/staple the item together, then are absolutely gobsmacked when it falls apart the first time they wear or use it.

"I'm going to make a tie blanket" Why is there so much fleece in a store in the south.

What's worse is when they insist on using a fabric that doesn't fringe well, don't listen to you when you warn them, then later return, angry that the fabric didn't work out.

As far as putting them together...I bought a tie blanket kit on clearance, put the right sides together, sewed three sides, turned it right side out, sewed the last side. Got a bigger blanket in much less time, and it's holding together!

[Teysa]

"Which way is the train going?"

Straight into the ocean. Hope your life insurance is paid up. Bit of background, the train I work on has an engine on either side. It pulls up right next to the port building. People don't always see the second engine at first, but considering the track ends by the port building, that might be a bit of a clue.

"Which side has the best view?"

Whichever side you were assigned.

"What's good for lunch?"

Chips and beer are delicious.