Psycho Pizza Purchaser Pushes Placid Poster

[JustADude]

First, the setup and some background. For those that haven't heard of the '5-5-5' special, it's something that Domino's Pizza (and lately Pizza Hut) have been doing, where you get 3 or more medium 1-topping pies for $5 each. I, on the other hand, work at Papa Johns. This will become important later.

I was at work, doing my thing taking delivery orders and helping out on the make-line when the ringing of the devil-machines stopped for a few blessed minutes, when I get a call from what I can only assume is a human female... lady is FAR too polite a term. As best I can remember it, this is what transpired:


Me = Your friendly neighborhood JustADude.
SC = Psycho woman that escaped from Bedlam



Me: Thanks for calling Papa Johns, this is JustADude. Would you like to try <insert required promo pimping>?

SC: No thanks.

Me: No problem, can I get your phone number real quick?

*I get the number, she's not in the system, so I get name/address. Here's where it gets fun.*
Me: Okay, so what can I get for you today?

SC: I'd like to get your 5-5-5 deal^.

Me(thoughts): Wow, I'm surprised it took THIS long for me to get one of these!
Me(words, cheerful as can be): I'm sorry ma'am, we don't do that special.

SC: Look, I just want the three medium pizzas for five dollars each.

Me(thoughts): Eh, honest mistake. No Sale For Me, but lets get her fixed up.
Me(words, downgrading to merely polite): Ma'am, that's not us. You want Domino's, or maybe Pizza Hut.

SC: You have that special! I saw it on one of your fliers!

Me(thoughts): No, you f*cking moron, you saw our Customer Appreciation Day ad ($5 large 1-topping) or our monday/tuesday carryout special ($5 med 1-topping). Learn to read!
Me(words, remaining civil): I'm sorry, ma'am, you're mistaken. We don't do that promotion at this store, you likely saw one of our oth-

SC: YES YOU DO!

Me(thoughts): Oh? I guess being an employee who stares at the specials all day means I don't know as much about them as a total bitch that can't get her head out of her ass far enough for her ears to work?
Me(words, getting exhasperated): Look, ma'am, we do NOT do--

SC: WHAT THE FUCK? I JUST WANT MY 5-5-5 SPECIAL! GOD!!! *SLAM*

*hang up and wiggle finger in ear*
Me(thoughts):? Post time!
Me(words):Ow...


Funny thing, really, is that sucky customers actually improve my day. I may get pissed for a moment, but those people are gonna stay pissed LONG after I've let it go and shared their stupidity with everyone here. And, yes, I've been told by some major drug-users I shouldn't touch the stuff 'cause I'm weird enough stone-cold sober.

[WSDuckie]

I love my Papa John's! I've got them trained to not put any pepperoncinis in the box, I just can't stand em... I make sure that I tip the driver well so they keep doing it right... (-;

[Sliceanddice]

Hmmmm some papa johns have a 3 medium pizzas for 20 dollars or so deal. but still she was evil. *starts the voodoo doll* ill tell you when im done.

[Food Lady]

That persistence of hers comes out of arrogance. She knew she was wrong, but needed to save face, I guess. My response is usually something like, "Oh, I'm sorry? Ok, what specials do you guys have?"

[Mike Taylor]

Or she thought you were jerking her chain. Sadly, that happens too.

[CrazedClerk]

Reminds me of how people always used to assume our games store price matched because Wal-mart does it.

[Becks]

When I worked at the gas station, an employee of Papa John's would come around with a car FULL of pizzas, selling them for $5 each. I'm still not sure why. Didn't get a lot of takers, either.

I, myself, preferred the Domino's across the street, especially on $3 carryout pizza days. YUMMY.

[JustADude]

Hmmmm some papa johns have a 3 medium pizzas for 20 dollars or so deal.

It's a franchise thing, not something that we do. Closest we have is that carryout special on our dead days.

Reminds me of how people always used to assume our games store price matched because Wal-mart does it.

EXACTLY like it! I'm pretty damn sure that psycho-woman thought that, because Domino's has been throwing that 555 thing around so much, EVERY pizza place did it.

[chainedbarista]

Or she thought you were jerking her chain. Sadly, that happens too.

maybe next time, you should jerk the chain harder, say, maybe choking strength.

it's time to take away her phone and make her sit in the corner; time out, no pizza for you, missy!

[Naaman]

My response is usually something like, "Oh, I'm sorry? Ok, what specials do you guys have?"

Because we don't order pizza often enough to keep an up to date menu I normally ask "What specials are you running at the moment?". Saves face and a lot of bother

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because we don't order pizza often enough to keep an up to date menu I normally ask "What specials are you running at the moment?". Saves face and a lot of bother

We order from a local place that does good pizza and no tv ads and then we don't have to worry about it!

[Gurndigarn]

And, yes, I've been told by some major drug-users I shouldn't touch the stuff 'cause I'm weird enough stone-cold sober.

I'm roughly the same way. The thought of me on amphetamines should make sane people instinctively duck. And the thought of me on hallucinogenics should make them break out the straightjackets.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When I worked at the gas station, an employee of Papa John's would come around with a car FULL of pizzas, selling them for $5 each. I'm still not sure why. Didn't get a lot of takers, either.

I, myself, preferred the Domino's across the street, especially on $3 carryout pizza days. YUMMY.

BLASPHEMY!! One can never have enough beer sponges. Pizza fits that bill nicely.

[Imogene]

The thought of me on amphetamines should make sane people instinctively duck.

*mallards, looks around a bit confused*
...
*definitely NOT sane*

[zzapp the witch]

How is a raven like a writing desk?