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01-09-2007, 10:54 AM
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Senior Stuff Do'er
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 3,381
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Three old ladies sitting on a bench in a park. Suddenly, a young man rushes up to them and flashes them! The first old lady has a stroke! The second old lady has a stroke! The third old lady can't reach...
__________________
The report button - not just for decoration
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01-09-2007, 06:45 PM
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Heavy Metal Admin
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Enola, PA
Posts: 5,029
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Three hard-of-hearing old ladies are sitting on a park bench.
"Windy, isn't it?" asks the first.
"No, it's Thursday!" answers the second.
"Me too," says the third, "Let's go get a drink!"
__________________
Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right
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01-09-2007, 07:32 PM
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,096
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My groaner for the day....
You have two potatoes. How do you tell which one is the prostitute?
You look for the label that says "Idaho"!
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
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01-11-2007, 04:19 AM
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Customer
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Worth, Florida
Posts: 286
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The credit for this one goes to monty python......
What's brown and like a bell?
Duuuuuuuuuuuung.
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01-13-2007, 01:18 AM
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,096
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Anybody hear the latest joke for psychics?
No?
Okay! Here it is:
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
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01-16-2007, 03:58 AM
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Security
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the southern part of Snookiland.
Posts: 2,093
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I had to name my pet pig Ink-
He kept running out of his pen
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01-16-2007, 07:57 PM
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,096
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Oh yeah?!
My parents bought me a dog for protection once. He was a wonderful dog. One time when I got held up, he sat and watched. He was a watchdog.
Most people name their dogs something "Fido" or "Rover". I named my dog "sex".
One day I took Sex for a walk, and he ran away from me. I spent all day looking for him. A cop came up to me and asked me "What are you doing in this alley at 3:00 in the morning?"
I told him "I'm looking for Sex". That wasn't much fun to explain to the judge.
One day I went to get a license for my dog. I told the clerk "I'd like to get a license for Sex." He said, "I'd like to have one too!"
Then I told him "But this is the dog!" The clerk told me he didn't care how she looked.
I then said "But I've had Sex since I was three years old!"
When I got divorced from my wife, we went to court for custody of the dog. I told the Judge, "Your Honor, I had Sex before we were married!" He said "So did I!"
I then told him that after we married, Sex left me. He said "Me too!"
When I told him I once had Sex on TV, he said "Show-off!" I them told the Judge it was a contest, and he said I should have sold tickets.
I also told the judge that when we got married, on our honeymoon I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife, and a special room for Sex. He told me "All our rooms are for sex!"
"But you don't understand!" I said to the clerk. "Sex keeps me awake at night!" He said "Me too!"
I give up.
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
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01-17-2007, 06:13 AM
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Goa'uld System Lord
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,744
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Did you hear about the two guys who robbed the calendar factory?
They each got six months!
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01-17-2007, 01:49 PM
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Cashier
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Elvisland, USA
Posts: 67
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 Omg am I wrong for loving these kind of jokes??
__________________
"I want to be a mongoose. Can I be a mongoose dog?"
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01-17-2007, 02:18 PM
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Heavy Metal Admin
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Enola, PA
Posts: 5,029
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Two morons decided to go hunting for bears. They were walking along a road, when the road forked. At the fork was a sign that said "Bear left."
So they went home.
__________________
Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right
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