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a couple of jokes
Old 02-07-2013, 02:49 AM
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Gibbo Gibbo is offline
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Default a couple of jokes

Joke 1

A man answers a knock at the door to find a snail on his doorstep.

"Can I spend the night here?" asks the snail

"NO!" the man replies and kicks the snail to the end of his front garden. Two months later there is a knock at the door and the snail is on the doorstep again.

The snail says to the man...

"What did you do that for?"

Joke 2

A man is going by a church when he sees a sign advertising the sale of a horse. He goes into the church sees the priest standing at the front and goes over to ask him about the horse.

"I've had him for years but I don't need him anymore, he's more trouble than he's worth" says the priest. " If your interested I'll take you over to the stables."

The man says that he is interested and they go the the stable where the horse is kept. After agreeing a price the priest lets the horse out of the stable and lets the man take it for a ride in a nearby field.

"To get the horse to start you have to say oh my god," says the priest "and to get him to stop you have to say jesus christ". The man climbs on the horse and says "oh my god", and the horse shoots off so fast that the man nearly flies off.

All of a sudden he forgets what he has to say to get the horse to stop. The horse leaps over a fence and is still galloping at a great speed All of a sudden the edge of a cliff is looming fast and the man starts to panic. "WOAH, WOAH!" the man shouts but the horse still keeps on going. All of a sudden he remembers what he has to say. "JESUS CHRIST!" he shouts and the horse skids to a stop, millimetres from the edge of the cliff.

The man peers over the horse and sees a 100 foot sheer drop. In sheer relief the man sinks back into his saddle, wipes the sweat from his forehead and says...

"oh my god"
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