Tweet
Too Funny Not to Share (long)
One of the fun things I get to do at work besides answering phones is to answer the emails that come in from our website. This is a very nice reprieve from talking to people as I don't have to hear their whiney nasal voices saying, "But whhhyyyy does that ticket to Honolulu for Christmas cost $700.00!?!?! Isn't booking in late October enough time to get it for $100.00??"
I die a little inside for every stupid complaint phone call I take, but I absolutely LOVE to answer complaint emails. Now lots of complaints made against airlines are valid and I will give you that, but most of them are just people being pissy little babies.
I got this email a few days ago and it just made me laugh when I read it. First off I had to read it a couple of times to even know what on Earth this guy was talking about, and second, all I could think of was that scene from the TV show "Friends" when Joey writes the reccomendation letter for Chandler and Monica and uses the thesaurus for every word
if you've seen the show you'll know what I mean. Here is the email in all it's glory, the only things altered is when he references the company name to protect privacy...
What do you as a representative or manager or controller of your corporation propose to offer me as an exchange for the money you have taken from me under the hospices of a fare surcharge for itinerary alteration? The difference in fare is $30.00. The change was due to in no part to any action or desire initiated by me. I can prove the circumstances described. I have been a consistent military customer for half a decade. Do you really intend to extract this commercial excess? If you do, I will exact a toll on your business that is commensurate with my pathetic sphere of influence. I will no longer recommend your business, to friends, family or colleges. While I realize this is of little concern to you who are reading this communication, the reality is that your company has taken money from me under conditions similar to theft. I purchased a fare with good faith intentions. The circumstances requiring my trip were changed without warning and without merit and resulted in a necessary rescheduling. I
have now rescheduled the one fair to cover a separate trip that I would have booked no matter what, in an attempt to conserve my losses. However, upon the reschedule I learned that the difference in fare that could have worked in my favor and been applied to the fare change surcharge, was applied to your companies operating capitol.
I made reservations and paid for them in good faith, then I needed to reschedule reservations with the understanding that I would pay a fee; then I learned that a less expensive flight would be assessed a double penalty, as the rescheduling charge would be not be reduced by the difference in my favor. So, now I will be a detractor for your business. I will book reservations with your company as long as it suits my needs, but I will tell every individual that I have the opportunity to inform, that your business is not one of fairness and integrity. I will recommend competitor corporations that provide any degree of service that equals what you have demonstrated with this behavior. For $30.00, you as a corporation are willing to alienate a demonstrated customer. I am willing to invest time in ensuring that other potential customers have this knowledge.
What are you willing to do to make this situation fair? What are you willing to do to make a fare situation that is unfair by reasonable person standards, fair?
When I started doing buisnes with your corperation I should have tracked the number of referals I sent to you. Your Airline was a good company. Now, you are not so good. This whole thing makes me sad.
Now for those of you who are like me (and I work for the airline for crying out loud) have no idea what this man said. If you did I applaud you fully 
because I had to re-read this email and look at the guys ticket to know what was going on.
Here is a quick breakdown of what he's complaining about. He bought a ticket, we'll say it cost $230.00. He had to change it. Changes incur a penalty fee, this is very obvious with airlines nowadays. The new flights he changed to were a ticket price of $200.00, so $30.00 less. Because he had a non refundable ticket he does not get that $30.00 back and it does not come off of the change fee. Now, this is a policy that I may not necessaryilly agree with, but it is not something we hide either. It's not one of those miniscule rules that we hide and don't tell people about. This rule is clearly stated when a change is made that if the price of the new ticket is less than the old ticket THE VALUE IS THEN FORFEITED. So this guy decided after he made the change and agreed to all the rules that he would throw a bitch fit for $30.00. My reply you may ask?
"The rules were clearly stated when you made this change."
Hate me if you must. It's one thing to complain and be mad about the fine print rules that are kind of hidden because I know that happens and I really do try to work with people to help them when they're in tough situations. But for something that is in black and white, right in front of your face, and you have to agree to before we'll accept the money to make the change? No. No sympathy from me.
Anyway. I hope you all got a kick out of that email like I did. I'll post more funny emails later.
I die a little inside for every stupid complaint phone call I take, but I absolutely LOVE to answer complaint emails. Now lots of complaints made against airlines are valid and I will give you that, but most of them are just people being pissy little babies.
I got this email a few days ago and it just made me laugh when I read it. First off I had to read it a couple of times to even know what on Earth this guy was talking about, and second, all I could think of was that scene from the TV show "Friends" when Joey writes the reccomendation letter for Chandler and Monica and uses the thesaurus for every word
if you've seen the show you'll know what I mean. Here is the email in all it's glory, the only things altered is when he references the company name to protect privacy...What do you as a representative or manager or controller of your corporation propose to offer me as an exchange for the money you have taken from me under the hospices of a fare surcharge for itinerary alteration? The difference in fare is $30.00. The change was due to in no part to any action or desire initiated by me. I can prove the circumstances described. I have been a consistent military customer for half a decade. Do you really intend to extract this commercial excess? If you do, I will exact a toll on your business that is commensurate with my pathetic sphere of influence. I will no longer recommend your business, to friends, family or colleges. While I realize this is of little concern to you who are reading this communication, the reality is that your company has taken money from me under conditions similar to theft. I purchased a fare with good faith intentions. The circumstances requiring my trip were changed without warning and without merit and resulted in a necessary rescheduling. I
have now rescheduled the one fair to cover a separate trip that I would have booked no matter what, in an attempt to conserve my losses. However, upon the reschedule I learned that the difference in fare that could have worked in my favor and been applied to the fare change surcharge, was applied to your companies operating capitol.
I made reservations and paid for them in good faith, then I needed to reschedule reservations with the understanding that I would pay a fee; then I learned that a less expensive flight would be assessed a double penalty, as the rescheduling charge would be not be reduced by the difference in my favor. So, now I will be a detractor for your business. I will book reservations with your company as long as it suits my needs, but I will tell every individual that I have the opportunity to inform, that your business is not one of fairness and integrity. I will recommend competitor corporations that provide any degree of service that equals what you have demonstrated with this behavior. For $30.00, you as a corporation are willing to alienate a demonstrated customer. I am willing to invest time in ensuring that other potential customers have this knowledge.
What are you willing to do to make this situation fair? What are you willing to do to make a fare situation that is unfair by reasonable person standards, fair?
When I started doing buisnes with your corperation I should have tracked the number of referals I sent to you. Your Airline was a good company. Now, you are not so good. This whole thing makes me sad.
Now for those of you who are like me (and I work for the airline for crying out loud) have no idea what this man said. If you did I applaud you fully because I had to re-read this email and look at the guys ticket to know what was going on. Here is a quick breakdown of what he's complaining about. He bought a ticket, we'll say it cost $230.00. He had to change it. Changes incur a penalty fee, this is very obvious with airlines nowadays. The new flights he changed to were a ticket price of $200.00, so $30.00 less. Because he had a non refundable ticket he does not get that $30.00 back and it does not come off of the change fee. Now, this is a policy that I may not necessaryilly agree with, but it is not something we hide either. It's not one of those miniscule rules that we hide and don't tell people about. This rule is clearly stated when a change is made that if the price of the new ticket is less than the old ticket THE VALUE IS THEN FORFEITED. So this guy decided after he made the change and agreed to all the rules that he would throw a bitch fit for $30.00. My reply you may ask?
"The rules were clearly stated when you made this change."
Hate me if you must. It's one thing to complain and be mad about the fine print rules that are kind of hidden because I know that happens and I really do try to work with people to help them when they're in tough situations. But for something that is in black and white, right in front of your face, and you have to agree to before we'll accept the money to make the change? No. No sympathy from me.
Anyway. I hope you all got a kick out of that email like I did. I'll post more funny emails later.
Eric the Grey
Comment