A canonical list of SCs

[Professional Serf]

The Bluetooth Tourettesian: This animated fellow wanders up and down the aisles waving his arms about while screaming obscenities for reasons only he knows. Expect questions posed by this gem to be continually interupted by... "WHAT?!?", and, "HOW THE F*#K AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?", and, "WHY THE F*#K DIDN'T YOU COME DOWN HERE YOURSELF?!?"

[Professional Serf]

The Hygienically Challenged: These people believe that bathing is a once a month...if not once a year...hassle. They further believe that the use of deodorant, toothpaste, douche, soap...and even toilet paper sometimes...is completely unnecessary because if enough cologne or perfume is applied, it will completely mask their odor.

[Format C]

The "Won't read the badge customer"

This type will ask you "Do you work here?" even if you are in full uniform and are wearing a badge. As a vendor rep, I wear a badge that doesn't have the store name on it and customers still ask me that question.

[Format C]

The "Brain Transplant" customer:

This type is the one that trades what they have left in brain cells for issues of Consumer Reports. They won't buy a certain because "Consumer Reports said not to."

[Dreamstalker]

Blinded by the Sales Rack Guy: This guy comes in needing a case for his phone, and tries vainly to force his new, current-model phone into a case that is clearanced at $2 because we don't make that phone anymore. Heaven forbid you buy the one that fits for $10!

My dad tends toward this at times (I've tried to break him of the habit, I swear)...the only line of logic that seems to work is "If something ends up breaking (i.e. you can force it to fit now, but a week down the road the case will give completely and your Treo goes smashy), it'll cost you probably much more than a new case to fix it."

"But I'm Your Friend!": May be sighted in arenas other than computers. Usually seen when the maintenance work is expensive. Thinks that you should do it for free "because we're friends, right?". Sorry, that has nothing to do with the fact that you asked me to do work, I did it and I require payment for my time.

The Helper: Think they know what's wrong with their computer (OK, if you know what's wrong why did you call me then), but really has no clue. Suggestions/actions from them range from mildly-dumb-but-fixable to outright dangerous.

The Grave Robber (kudos to Lyger for the title): Thinks you should be jumping with joy for the opportunity to try to bring their POS back from the dead for the fourth time. I may have a mild reputation as a miracle worker, but there are some things that just cannot be saved after a certain point. I tend to get a bit grumpy when the OS gives me the finger yet again after it seems like everything's fixed.

[PW_Elle]

My contributions

The Jedi Mind-Trickster: "You see, it is perfectly unacceptable that this can't get done today. You need to help me because... [insert lame excuse here]"

The Friendly Complainer: Perfectly nice to you the entire conversation, laughs and jokes with you, but slips in complaints every few sentences.

Hurricane Katrina: Comes in, whirls around the store, hastily grabbing things off shelves. Knocks other things over in the process, flies through the checkout line. When Katrina leaves, it looks like a disaster area in your store.

[Lyger]

(unnamed as of yet): Thinks you should be jumping with joy for the opportunity to try to bring their POS back from the dead for the fourth time.

I would like to suggest The Grave Robber or Dr. Frankenstein.

[Dreamstalker]

Grave Robber it is. Thanks for the suggestion

[Lyger]

You're welcome.

Mr. No-Friends: The type that hangs out in a electronics store, often in the video games section, who will love to waste the employees time by chatting with them about their latest technological craze, almost to the point of a cultist trying to convert a non-believer. Will attach himself, amoeba-like, to any employee who gives him some kind of verbal response, even if it's just to offer a passing opinion.

The Barnum: So-called because of the infamous quote by P.T. Barnum: "There's a sucker born every minute." Attempts to act like they know what they want, when in reality, can be talked into just about anything. Wouldn't be such a problem if this meant that they could decide after seeing more than one option...

[Jester]

The Barnum: So-called because of the infamous quote by P.T. Barnum: "There's a sucker born every minute."

Personally, I think this should be called "Barnum's Proof." Just saying.

[ArenaBoy]

The VIP: Found in 3 different types.

The Young VIP: Tends to be 18-25 years old, is most likely in college or has just finished college. Often treats any worker like garbage regardless of age. If male; he is most likely to sport the following: A button-down striped shirt that is most likely untucked, pre-ripped or pre-faded jeans, and plenty of gel in the hair with a little flair up front. If it is winter they will most likely be wearing a North Face jacket.
If female; likely to be very attractive but will have the intelligence of a snail. Usually wears a very short skirt with a top that leaves little for the imagination. Will most likely wear that in the winter also.

99% of them have a superiority complex and will go out of their way to try and make you feel like crap often leaving you to scoff at them.

The Pre-Middle Age VIP: 25-40 years old, very annoying and a pain the ass. The late 20s to 30s spectrum lose some of the qualities of the Young VIP but retain some aspects such as the striped shirt but substitiute the jeans with khakis and will still be wearing the North Face jacket and will not go as overboard with the hair gel. The female version will dress a little more conservatively than her younger counterpart and will still have all the idiot qualities. The male version tends to refer to you as boss, champ, buddy, pal, and guy. If the male and female marry, they will most likely have two kids who are 1 or 2 years apart in age.

The Middle Age/Elder VIP: 40-whenever years old, not as annoying as the Pre-Middle Age but is a shadow of it. The Middle Age spectrum refuses to acknowledge that he is getting older and still tries to show that he's still got it. Instead of a striped shirt, he will be wearing a sweater with a long black trench coat with khakis, his female counterpart dresses more conservatively and most often their kids will either be late teens or college grads. They will still think that they are better than you but some may show remorse for what they did when they were younger.
The Elder VIPS are 2nd worst behind the Young VIPs, the Elders refuse to acknowledge your presence and will not say a word to you. Promenient in the male, if the male chooses to admit your presence he usually speaks in one word sentences that often range from grunts to one word shouts. The female version will either be a complete hag, realizing that she isn't as attractive as she used to be, or will be an absolute angel.

[ginlyn32]

The Non-parent with Screaming child/ren: This non-parent enters store with either no intention of buying anything or they buy one thing and then let their screaming children run all over the store playing with all the toys. Sometimes they even want their kids to climb on all the beds and bounce on the mattress.

Parent with a Stinky: This parent has a baby or small toddler with a VERY stinky diaper/pullup but will not stop their all-important shopping of bed linens to go and change said child. Even if store employees and other customers' eyes are watering and are gagging from the stench. It is often nessecary to spray with air freshenor after SC leaves. You often wonder if their nose works!

ginlyn32

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The Finicky Furniture F***tard:

For some reason, these SCs gravitate to my store. They demand that their furniture items be delivered to them in absolutely pristine packaging.

If there is even one surface scratch on the cardboard box that doesn't go through to the product, or one corner of the box is pushed in a bit, they will act as if you have just handed them a jar of warm sinus discharge, and demand you take it away and get them another item.

They are not to be confused with those people who refuse an item because the box is all torn to shit and there is visible damage on the parts. I make a point of not trying to unload those items, and will tear apart an entire stack of furniture to get a presentable one if need be. I am speaking of those idiots who think one tiny dent or scratch on the box means their item is obviously defective.

[yahurd]

The Paris Hilton: the person who calls the store, rattles off a list of things she wants, and instructs us to have it all up and bagged at the service desk so she can come in and pay for it later. Basically she expects us to be her personal shoppers (I just call them Paris Hiltons because Paris seems like the kind of VIP who can have a personal shopper)

id have called them Paris Hilton's cause it seems like something she would do

[azziz]

here's my definition....

I've been working in a callcenter industry for 2 years now and this is what I got:

Dumb,dumber,dumerer - guests who don't read the manual and calls tech support asking for assistance on how to get connected. Even though the manual is infront of them.....

The "kiss my arse goodbye" type - people who doesn't understand on why they can't get a connection and goes out srcreeming,saying things you don't like to hear(like s***s and stuff) then they will tell you to go to hell and slam the phone at you....