Go Back   Customers Suck! > Community > Jokes

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

A myriad of musical jokes.
  #1  
Old 11-15-2008, 04:17 AM
fireheart's Avatar
fireheart fireheart is offline
The Christmas Tree Ninja!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,617
Default A myriad of musical jokes.

Why are trombone players better lovers?

Trumpet players do it with three fingers.
Baritone players do it with four fingers.
Trombone players do it in seven different positions.

What do you call two trumpet players and three tuba players walking into a strip club?
A: Horny*.

Why was the piano invented?
A: So musicians have somewhere to put their beers.

*-one of the guys in band calls our French horn players "horny people." He also refers to the piccolo as "pick your nose" and the saxes as "Sexy people."
__________________
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

Now queen of USSR-Land...

  #2  
Old 11-15-2008, 02:28 PM
XCashier's Avatar
XCashier XCashier is offline
Insert clever title here
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: At my computer
Posts: 6,992
Talking

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually, C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental. The judge rules that all contrary motions are bassless.
__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My LiveJournal
A page we can all agree with!

  #3  
Old 11-15-2008, 10:09 PM
edible_hat edible_hat is offline
Customer
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Radelaide.
Posts: 2,154
Default

When my aunt went to Europe she brought back some notepads with "Shopping Liszt" on them and potholders with "Too hot to Handel".

  #4  
Old 11-16-2008, 03:54 AM
wolfie wolfie is offline
I need a life
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,041
Default

A group of engineers was arguing about which note the horn on a steam roller should sound. Eventually it wound up as a choice between C sharp or B flat.

  #5  
Old 11-16-2008, 04:16 AM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
\_(ツ)_/
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,079
Default

Quote:
Quoth fireheart17 View Post
Why are trombone players better lovers?

Trumpet players do it with three fingers.
Baritone players do it with four fingers.
Trombone players do it in seven different positions.
But what he's playing a valve trombone?

Quote:
Quoth fireheart17

*-one of the guys in band calls our French horn players "horny people." He also refers to the piccolo as "pick your nose" and the saxes as "Sexy people.
Hey! That means I was once a sexy person!
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  #6  
Old 11-16-2008, 10:55 AM
Broomjockey's Avatar
Broomjockey Broomjockey is offline
Goa'uld System Lord
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,744
Default

Quote:
Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
But what he's playing a valve trombone?
Those aren't real trombones. They're more like bass trumpets. Or maybe Fisher Price "My First Trombone."
__________________
Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

  #7  
Old 11-16-2008, 11:59 AM
Chromatix Chromatix is offline
Computer Wizard
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Helsinki
Posts: 3,101
Default

Quote:
Quoth edible_hat View Post
When my aunt went to Europe she brought back some notepads with "Shopping Liszt" on them and potholders with "Too hot to Handel".
That's Chopin Liszt.

  #8  
Old 11-17-2008, 01:18 AM
fireheart's Avatar
fireheart fireheart is offline
The Christmas Tree Ninja!
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,617
Default

Quote:
Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post



Hey! That means I was once a sexy person!
And you're not sexy now?
__________________
The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

Now queen of USSR-Land...

  #9  
Old 11-17-2008, 01:56 AM
Aethian's Avatar
Aethian Aethian is offline
USPS Q&A Person...Sometimes
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Dead Letter Land
Posts: 2,903
Default

*blinks* You people scare me and I once played in a city symphony and heard these jokes almost monthly.

  #10  
Old 11-17-2008, 01:58 AM
edible_hat edible_hat is offline
Customer
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Radelaide.
Posts: 2,154
Default

Quote:
Quoth fireheart17 View Post
Why are trombone players better lovers?

Trumpet players do it with three fingers.
Baritone players do it with four fingers.
Trombone players do it in seven different positions.
also because they're tromboners.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:12 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.