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  #11  
Old 11-17-2008, 03:26 PM
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On the same note...

Q: How long does it take to tune a banjo?

A: Nobody knows.
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  #12  
Old 11-18-2008, 02:05 AM
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Quote:
Quoth wolfie View Post
A group of engineers was arguing about which note the horn on a steam roller should sound. Eventually it wound up as a choice between C sharp or B flat.
I don't get it.
Did you mean B# and Cb, and the joke is that they are enharmonics of the same note?
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  #13  
Old 11-18-2008, 04:26 AM
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How do you get five flutes to play in unison?
A: shoot four of them.

(same joke can involve piccolos, oboes or French horns. They're notoriously hard to tune)
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  #14  
Old 11-18-2008, 06:41 AM
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Quote:
Quoth Gawdzillers View Post
I don't get it.
Did you mean B# and Cb, and the joke is that they are enharmonics of the same note?
Actually the joke is if you don't "see sharp" (look carefully) you're "be flat" (run over by the steamroller).
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  #15  
Old 11-18-2008, 08:47 AM
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Also, neither Cb or B# actually exist. (Look at a piano keyboard.)

  #16  
Old 11-18-2008, 10:16 AM
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner
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  #17  
Old 11-18-2008, 09:34 PM
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Quote:
Quoth Chromatix View Post
Also, neither Cb or B# actually exist. (Look at a piano keyboard.)
Actually, they do. Cb is B, B# is C. Had a music major friend try to explain that one to me....I never really got why you would do that. But they do technically exist.
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  #18  
Old 11-19-2008, 07:35 AM
Chromatix Chromatix is offline
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I do know that you can *write* those notes down - and also double-sharps and double-flats on most notes. I have some interesting music qualifications of my own, though not at university level.

They're useful when you are working in keys that already have a lot of sharps or flats in their signature, but need to switch to the minor mode, and you don't want to have the performer confused between B# (C natural) and C# which might be struck at the same time... and this happens surprisingly often in high-level pieces. The same goes for double-sharps and double-flats.

But if you ask for a single note, independent of any key signature, there's no point in asking for B#, just ask for C instead. On the other hand, whether you ask for G# or Ab is up to you.

  #19  
Old 11-19-2008, 02:27 PM
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OK, as a band geek I need to add some

Q- why is the french horn considered a divine instrument?
A- because man blows into it but only God knows what will come out.

Q- what is the difference between a band and a bull?
A- the bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.

Q- what do you do when someone can't play any instruments?
A- give them two sticks and have them play drums.
Q- and what if they can't even play drums?
A- take one of the sticks away and make them conduct.

Q- what is the difference between a trumpet player and a government bond?
A- eventually the bond will mature and make money.

Q- what is the difference between a saxaphone and a chain saw?
A- Vibrato... though this can be minimalized by holding the chain saw very still.

Q- what is a bassoon good for?
A- firewood
Q- and what is an oboe good for
A- kindling

So, two tuba players walk past a bar... well... it could happen...

Little Johny once told his mother he wanted to be a trumpet player when he grew up... his mother said, "but Johny, you can't do both"

and my personal favorite (a bit long)
The Seattle Symphany was performing Beethoven's 9th Symphany. Just before the final part of the symphany there is a very long rest for the bass players.... being bass players they decided dearing this long rest they would go across the street to the bar and have a few drinks. Of course they lose track of time and before they know it they're drunk and it's time to rush back across the street. They barely make it in time and are terrified that they won't be able to get ready in time. One of the drummers turns to them and said "don't worry, I knew you guys were going to do this, so before the performance I tied the pages of the conductors score together so he'd have to slow down and give you some more time"... at about that moment the conductor looked up and oh did he look pissed.. but it's understandable, after all, it was the bottom of the 9th, the basses were loaded, and the score was tied
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  #20  
Old 11-20-2008, 07:11 AM
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Quote:
Quoth PossJB View Post
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner
The creators of Beaconsfield: The Musical changed the name from "A Musican in A Flat Minor" because it was in "bad taste". Like a musical about a mine collapse in which 1 minor died and 2 were trapped underground for a week could be in good taste...

http://www.defamer.com.au/2008/10/be...d_russell.html
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