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Holiday tunes for us!
  #1  
Old 12-01-2006, 05:03 PM
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Jester Jester is offline
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Default Holiday tunes for us!

Quote:
Quoth AFpheonix View Post
*singing*
With the bitches and asshats and CBF ladies and buttheads galore! It's the most craptacular time...of the year!!!!!!
Thank you, AFpheonix. You inspired me to pen this little ditty:

Customers Suck
(sung to the tune of "Jingle Bell Rock")

Customers, customers, customer suck.
Customers cry and customers lie.
Dreaming and scheming ways to not pay
And lying with every stupid word that they say.

Customers, customers, customers suck.
Customers rob and they’ll “have your job,”
Shouting and pouting, going on a tear…
Question them don’t you dare!

What a bad time, it’s a sad time
To do work in retail.
Holiday time is the right time
To be complaining about a one-day sale.

Giddy-up retail slave, take all their heat
Anything to make a buck.
Bow and kiss ass and scrape at their feet
That’s why customers,
That’s why customers,
That’s why customers suuuuuuck...
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  #2  
Old 12-01-2006, 05:04 PM
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Oh, man, I could hear this being sung with full orchestration in my head. How sick is that?

This is brilliant!

  #3  
Old 12-01-2006, 05:15 PM
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Default

So could I

Jester, I loved it.

  #4  
Old 12-01-2006, 05:35 PM
wildcatgrrl wildcatgrrl is offline
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Awesome. I love it!!!

  #5  
Old 12-01-2006, 05:59 PM
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Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
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Quote:
Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
Oh, man, I could hear this being sung with full orchestration in my head. How sick is that?

This is brilliant!
Me too. By Burl Ives.
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  #6  
Old 12-01-2006, 06:14 PM
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Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
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I wanna try this!

Sucky C's (sung to the tune of "Silver Bells")

Sucky C's, Sucky C's
It's time to make, a tanrum scene
Ding-a-lings
Hear them plead
"Don't ruin please Christmas Day."

In the stores rush, all the kids rush
To the toy section aisle
In the air there's a wailing of brats

People pouting, babies screaming
Meeting scowl after scowl
And in every aisle you will hear..

Sucky C's, Sucky C's
It's time to make, a tanrum scene
Ding-a-lings
Hear them plead
"Don't ruin please Christmas Day."

Strings of registers, and the workers
Turning bright red and green
As the shoppers bum rush them, with carts

Hear your teeth crunch, see the people bunch
Its a Black Friday Scene
And above all the bustle you'll hear...

Sucky C's, Sucky C's
It's time to make, a tanrum scene
Ding-a-lings
Hear them plead
"Don't ruin please Christmas Day."
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  #7  
Old 12-01-2006, 06:22 PM
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Irving, that is a catchie one also.

SCs Roasting On An Open Fire...
  #8  
Old 12-01-2006, 06:30 PM
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Default SCs Roasting On An Open Fire...

These are all the more funny if you imagine someone like Michael Buble singing.
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  #9  
Old 12-01-2006, 08:57 PM
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Lace Neil Singer Lace Neil Singer is offline
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Don't forget The 12 Days Of Christmas!

(taken from http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ead.php?t=4667 )

On the first day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
A tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the second day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the third day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the fourth day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the fifth day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the sixth day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
6 price checks
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the seventh day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the eighth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the nineth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the tenth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
10 ladies sobbing
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the eleventh day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
11 threatening lawsuits
10 ladies sobbing
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the twelveth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
12 dirty returns
11 threatening lawsuits
10 ladies sobbing
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.
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  #10  
Old 12-01-2006, 09:32 PM
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You are all brilliant!

Now, if only someone on this board could sing (would that be you, RK?), we could record and sell the songs for download and help support the site!
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