Go Back   Customers Suck! > Community > Jokes

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

  #21  
Old 12-03-2006, 04:17 AM
DesignFox's Avatar
DesignFox DesignFox is offline
Hope nothing's missing...
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 990
Default

Those are hysterical Xcashier! Love it!

I think a customer's suck CD/DVD would be great-best if we could get the live footage of people being toads... and hey, maybe some of us can't sing well as individuals...but that's ok! As a chorus, we'll sound great!
__________________
I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GK

  #22  
Old 12-03-2006, 05:57 AM
Amethyst Hunter Amethyst Hunter is offline
Toothless chew toy for cats
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 516
Default

OMFG YOU GUYS ARE ALL *AWESOME*. XD

Silver Bells CS style
  #23  
Old 12-04-2006, 03:42 PM
South Texan's Avatar
South Texan South Texan is offline
Jaded. But fun at parties!
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South Texas (duh)
Posts: 1,086
Default Silver Bells CS style

(*To the tune of Silver Bells)

SC’s shopping, Christmas shopping
Crowding aisle after aisle
In the air there’s the stench of the masses

Elbows jabbing, People crabbing
Attitudes all most vile
And on each PA speaker you hear…

Price check pleas, “Checkers please”
Its Christmas time here in retail.
Want to yell. This is hell.
Soon it will be return time

Lines of shoppers, grumpy shoppers
All think they should be first
Hear them claim that the cust’mer's always right

Fitting room mess, lots of work stress
Have to smile at each curse
Scream the words you really want to say

“Go away.” “Stay away!”
“Leave me alone you stupid cow!”
“Can’t you think?” “Ugh, you stink”
“You’ve made me hate Christmas Day!”
__________________
"Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
.................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

  #24  
Old 12-04-2006, 06:53 PM
XCashier's Avatar
XCashier XCashier is offline
Insert clever title here
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: At my computer
Posts: 6,992
Default

That's really good (and it scans, too!). Sums up the Holiday Season from the retail workers' point of view.
__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My LiveJournal
A page we can all agree with!

Last edited by Ree; 12-05-2006 at 02:11 AM. Reason: Threads merged and moved to new forum

  #25  
Old 12-06-2006, 12:21 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,079
Default

And now another chestunt from the I.P. Freleigh Golden Trough of Christmas Hits...my rendition of "That's what Christmas Means to Me" by Stevie Wonder and various and sundry other artists...

Oh yeah...
Tempers runnin' short
'Lifter gets his day in court
Checkout lines are slow
Everywhere we go
PA's singing carols
I've heard too many times before

All these things and more, baby
All these things and more
That's what Christmas means to me, oh noes
(Christmas means to me, oh noes)
Dear God
Help me please!

I see your frowning face
Like I never seen before
'Cuz you scream at me so madly
I wish you'd find the door
The items you throw at me
Will drop me to the floor

All these things and more, baby
All these things and more
That's what Christmas means to me, oh noes
(Christmas means to me, oh noes)
Dear God

Please stop your running wild
Screaming like a little child
Your BO smells like moldy toes
Take a bath and wash your clothes
I wish you a crappy Christmas, moron
(wish you a crappy Christmas, moron)
And stay away in the coming year!

Let's stock the shelves with chotchkies
And piss and moan all night
Just one Elmo left to buy
Kids, watch your mommies fight
Trudge through work and get home
Just before daylight


All these things and more, baby
All these things and more
That's what Christmas means to me, oh noes
(Christmas means to me, oh noes)

Oh noes!
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

Last edited by Irving Patrick Freleigh; 12-06-2006 at 01:00 PM.

  #26  
Old 12-19-2006, 08:55 PM
DarthRetard DarthRetard is offline
Customer
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Worth, Florida
Posts: 286
Default

Hey now, I'm a trained musician/singer and i can compose/transpose sheet music and songs. I can get some friends together and we can record a cd for yall, and use the funds to support the website and make t-shirts and stuff, somebody PM me for my phone number so we can talk about it. I'm not even kidding.

  #27  
Old 12-20-2006, 10:23 AM
Rapscallion's Avatar
Rapscallion Rapscallion is offline
Just some guy
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wiffletown
Posts: 11,248
Default

I'm working on T-shirts separately, but as you may expect the company and I are both up to our bums in work due to the season. Should ease off after this week and I can get some progress.

As to the idea of songs etc to support the site, there's no real need. I run it as a hobby, not as a business, so that reduces my stress. If someone comes up with a bucket of songs etc, I'd be more than happy to host it here Do it for fun, not for money, y'know?

Rapscallion

More Christmas songs for the rest of us
  #28  
Old 12-03-2010, 11:28 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,079
Default More Christmas songs for the rest of us

So work's been getting me down, people are so rude, my co-workers suck, my job sucks.

Wrote a song 'bout it. Like to hear it? Here it goes!

I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
All my co-workers are mad
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I took a half an hour break
Somebody snitched on me
Came back from lunch four hours late
Somebody snitched on me
Told my sup to go suck eggs
Spilled some paint on someone's legs
Burned dog shit in our plastic bags
And somebody snitched on me

I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
I made the customers mad
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I shoved some lady down the stairs
Somebody snitched on me
Made an orgy with the teddy bears
Someone's a fucking narc!
Sold single shoes instead of pairs
Cradle of Filth does the PA blare
They yell at me but I don't care
But somebody snitched on me. Ohhhhh...

I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
I made the managers mad
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad

I point out all of corporate's flaws
Somebody snitched on me
They won't promote me just because
Somebody snitched on me
Next year I will see the light
I'll straighten up and I'll fly right
Being a wage slave really bites
But somebody snitched on me

We're getting nuttin' for Christmas
District manager is mad
We're getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cuz we ain't been nuttin' but bad.
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  #29  
Old 12-06-2010, 11:03 PM
Rapscallion's Avatar
Rapscallion Rapscallion is offline
Just some guy
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wiffletown
Posts: 11,248
Default

Opened this for the season. If you've got goodies, get adding

Rapscallion

  #30  
Old 12-07-2010, 03:18 AM
XCashier's Avatar
XCashier XCashier is offline
Insert clever title here
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: At my computer
Posts: 6,992
Default

Oh, that's what happened to the first post in this thread!

I guess I'll repost mine here, too.

(to the tune of "Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah")

Customers oh customers
What can you do about them
We can't live with them
We can't live without them
Tearing up our displays
And trashing our store
Switching out our price tags
And always wanting more
The stinkies, the crankies
The pervs and Snobby Queens
They all come en masse
They're a pain in the ass
But for money, they are our means
SCs, hear our pleas
Mind your manners please
'Cause we're not just cogs in machines!
__________________
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
My LiveJournal
A page we can all agree with!

Last edited by XCashier; 12-08-2010 at 12:38 AM.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:23 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.