Go Back   Customers Suck! > Community > Jokes

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

  #31  
Old 12-16-2010, 08:35 PM
Lace Neil Singer's Avatar
Lace Neil Singer Lace Neil Singer is offline
Urge to kill, rising...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: England
Posts: 4,415
Default

(To the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Dashing thru the store,
An SC on my tail.
"I want to leave now!"
As I run I wail.

Sprouts have all run out,
"You've got them round the back!"
Wishing I could give,
The SC a good smack.

"Oh, bloody hell!"
An SC's yell,
"Come here and let me pay!"
Oh what shit it is to work,
Day before Christmas Day!

Oh, SCs shout,
Toys run out,
Wish I could just leave.
Oh what shit it is to work,
On fucking Christmas Eve!
__________________
People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
My DeviantArt.

  #32  
Old 12-16-2010, 11:07 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
\_(ツ)_/
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 14,079
Default

You are now being subjected to Irv's version of "I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas"

Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
That crazy holiday
I yust go insane, right in the brain
As the shoppers squander their pay

Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
Scraping ice off my car really sucks
There's two feet of snow, the howling wind blows
But corporate doesn't give two fucks

They want Wiis and Playstations
To buy their kids' elation
But the stores yust sold out and so
I hit the bar for some libation

Oh I yust go nuts at Christmas
I yust hope to stay out of the dock
Customers scream, shout and let off steam
How much longer 'till I punch the clock?

On the day before Christmas
The swamp is a zoo
It's been that way straight
Since November 22

I look at my watch; it's 4:35
And I am not feeling so very alive
2000-piece truck to fill and put away
Why do we need all this crap anyway?

Zhus Zhus and TVs, some shoes and a yuicer
To maybe make the locals' pants fit looser
The doors have yust opened, and here comes the herd
To trample and fight and flip me the bird

They ask stupid questions, my poor head throbs
And some bratty kid is churning out sobs
A thief rushes out with some ipods he stole
His stocking will certainly be filled with coal

From his office the manager comes down to say
"Pick up the pace and get carts right away!
Our sales, they suck, the numbers are scary
Big layoffs may be coming this Yanuary"

In toys some woman and a guy named Louie
Are fighting over something that goes ka-blooie
The woman slugs Louie, and makes a mad dash
But the cops have been called and they're here in a flash

They arrest her and she socks a cop in the yunk
At eleven in the morning she's stinking drunk
And over the PA, it's Bing Crosby I hear
Singing "it's the most wonderful time of the year"

And then when the gifts they all bought get spurned
I'll be back in two days to take the returns

Oh, I yust go nuts at Christmas
You may think me so very queer
But me I say, it's quite okay
That it only comes once a year
__________________
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  #33  
Old 12-16-2010, 11:31 PM
raw456's Avatar
raw456 raw456 is offline
results may vary.....
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Sunny Sydney
Posts: 376
Default

Brilliant Guys & Gals!!! just Brilliant!!!!

I would gladly offer my voice to the chorus, but not sure how I would record it or get it to you

I will just sing these quitely to myself as I deal with each SC between now and New Year.

Keep them coming.....
__________________
"When did you get a gold plated toilet?"
"We don't have a gold plated toilet"
"Oh dear, I think I just peed in your Tuba"

-Jasper Fforde

  #34  
Old 12-17-2010, 06:19 PM
Lace Neil Singer's Avatar
Lace Neil Singer Lace Neil Singer is offline
Urge to kill, rising...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: England
Posts: 4,415
Default

Ironically, I came up with the Jingle Bells one at work, in between customers. XD
__________________
People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
My DeviantArt.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:57 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.