Attention Ladies: It's Not an Insult.

[Plaidman]

I've heard NCO's issue the following statement:
Don't call me sir, I work for a living!

I've had several guys tell me that when I called them sir.

[FenigDurak]

I was a bit put-out when Italians started called me Signora instead of Signorina, though. I'm not old enough to be Signora, dammit !

My Italian teacher told us that marriage was the defining point between Signorina and Signora. I suspect that's a rather generalized definition, but still. I would expect to be called Signorina since I've only achieved the ripe old age of 25.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yes, Sir and Ma'am, and sometimes Miss, are common in the south. It's just good manners to use those terms. I am in my forties and I will call a teenager "Ma'am" or "Miss." Sometimes, it suprises them, but mainly I do it because not only is it polite for me to do so, but it also shows them respect from an older person and encourages them to reciprocate.

We reap what we sow.

Folks who aren't used to hearing it, I imagine it might take you by suprise a little, but please keep in mind, nobody's calling you old. They are trying to respect you. Also, keep in mind that this has no age limit. My great grandfather, who was southern (half my family is southern and the the other half is from New Jersey. Weddings and funerals are interesting.) called every female he knew "Miss." Including my little sister, who was a babe-in-arms at the time. I find that the height of charming. Keep in mind he was the oldest person in the family doing this, too. Respect goes both ways.

I call all my daughter's teachers and caregivers "Miss So-And-So" and teach her to do the same. Kids with manners are at a distinct advantage over kids without them.

My Italian teacher told us that marriage was the defining point between Signorina and Signora. I suspect that's a rather generalized definition, but still. I would expect to be called Signorina since I've only achieved the ripe old age of 25.

This is true. Signora is the equivalent of "Mrs." When I got married, I looked about 20 (I was nearly 30. My family's funny that way.) I got called Signora because everyone knew I was a newlywed (honeymoon in Rome.). It has nothing to do with how old you look.

[Nayeli_Sabia]

I am a new englander by birth(massachusets). I went to a Southern college, where I was introduced to being called Ma'am... it was odd(even more so since I was 18). Now I'm married to a military member, so I get used to being called Ma'am on a regular basis. At the ripe young age of 23. And you know what? I like it. I had a guy scold me once, when I was rushing up to open a door. He told me that he was trying to treat me like a lady, to LET him treat me like a lady. This was back in college. Then my boyfriend liked to open my car door. I would get glares from people, while I sat there and waited for hi, to come around and open my door. It made me uncomfortable, untill the day that an elderly lady YELLED across the parking lot that it was nice to see there where still gentlemen in the world who opened car doors, and to keep it up! That's when I decided that I wasn't going to let the glares bother me.

Sooo...... women, let guys treat you like ladies, and let them be the gentlemen that they are(mostly).

[CaroPhoenix]

I read a "big discussion" about the use of ma'am on the Dear Abby website as some woman wrote in complaining about the word "ma'am" because she insisted it is just a shortened version of "mammy".* Therefore it's an offensive word.

However, there were a ton of people saying, basically in nice words that the woman was an idiot.

Ma'am is the shortened version of Madam. Madam is English. It is derived from the French Ma Dame (or something similar - I don't speak/write/read French). The French translation of the word is "My Lady". So technically, when someone is calling us women "ma'am" they're actually saying "My Lady". Which I really, really like! YAY me ... I'm a lady!



*I'm not going to get into a discussion about the term "mammy" - I just put that in my post because of the letter I read and how the woman interpretted it to mean "ma'am".

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I read a "big discussion" about the use of ma'am on the Dear Abby website as some woman wrote in complaining about the word "ma'am" because she insisted it is just a shortened version of "mammy".* Therefore it's an offensive word.

However, there were a ton of people saying, basically in nice words that the woman was an idiot.

Yeah, I'd say that woman was an idiot.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Wow, RK! You're in your forties?!!

From your pictures I thought you were maybe pushing thirty at the most!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, thanks! Yep, I'm 44. My pics are recent. In fact, my current avatar was taken a couple weeks ago at a fundraiser we did for the Friends of the Library society where we were playing folk music.

My family is very lucky to apparently have a non-aging gene or something. You know those "fool the guesser" things at carnivals? They hate my guts.

[Primer]

I my boyfriend liked to open my car door. I would get glares from people, while I sat there and waited for hi, to come around and open my door. It made me uncomfortable, untill the day that an elderly lady YELLED across the parking lot that it was nice to see there where still gentlemen in the world who opened car doors, and to keep it up! That's when I decided that I wasn't going to let the glares bother me.

While DH and I were just friends, before we started dating, we went to lunch at a local restaurant. When we came out, he opened the car door for me (he was raised that way). An older gentleman and his early 20's son witnessed the occurrence. The father told his son, "Look there, you could learn something!" He then hollered to my then just friend, "You earn those husband points!" I just cracked up laughing!

[Rapscallion]

the ripe old age of 25.

Unfortunately, I can tell you that they just keep getting riper.

Rapscallion

[Barefootgirl]

I read a "big discussion" about the use of ma'am on the Dear Abby website as some woman wrote in complaining about the word "ma'am" because she insisted it is just a shortened version of "mammy".* Therefore it's an offensive word.

What????? That's priceless. I guess thats why the Queen is addressed as Ma'am (to rhyme with "ham", NEVER with "arm").

[Barefootgirl]

Unfortunately, I can tell you that they just keep getting riper.

Yours do, anyway

[Bright_Star]

How about..."Hey bitch! Here's your receipt, you dumb cow!" Maybe she'll like that better?...lol.

[DesignFox]

Where I live, the use of either of those terms isn't very common. I get a little surprised when I have a guy refer to me as "Ma'am" or "Miss." Whichever is used, I take it for what it is; a term of respect.

After one or two complaints about "Ma'am" making women feel old (some said in good nature, some not), I just started referring to every woman as "Miss." Up to little old ladies.

No one has complained so far.

People up here are touchy and weird. I guess, having lived here all my life, I'm just used to it. New Jersey is it's own little world....

[matty]

After one or two complaints about "Ma'am" making women feel old (some said in good nature, some not), I just started referring to every woman as "Miss." Up to little old ladies.

DesignFox, do you find that often when you call those "little old ladies" "Miss" that they give a little giggle and take it as a compliment? This has happened often with me.